


Not Black and White

by Reiko009



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Asexuality, Attempt at Humor, Avengers: Infinity War Part 2 (Movie), Bisexuality, Bruce Banner Is a Good Bro, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Coming Out, Counselling, Demisexuality, Developing Relationship, Dialogue Heavy, Eventual Romance, Fix-It, Gay Sex, Homosexuality, Hulk Needs a Hug, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Projecting Before Official Release of Part 2, Sex Education, Slice of Life, Slow Build, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, past trauma, talking about sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-09-28 03:12:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 52,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17174768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reiko009/pseuds/Reiko009
Summary: AKA "Sex Ed with the Avengers." Life on Earth after Thanos is peaceful - at least for now. Which means the team has an opportunity to heal old wounds, talk, and learn more about themselves. An incident with some overzealous fans brings up the need to request help from an expert. Secrets are revealed and budding relationships soon blossom. But things aren't always easy - the road to happiness takes some unexpected detours before their journey's end. It turns out that few of the Avengers are heteronormative. Let the shipping commence!





	1. Chapter 1

Life after defeating Thanos allowed for a lot more down time for the Avengers than they had ever previously experienced. Humbled by their short stint as time-travelers slash multi-universe jumpers, it was a miracle that they had regained so much after that fateful snap without distorting things into an even greater disaster. Dr. Hank Pym’s machine was carefully disassembled and stored in parts at secure locations around the globe – in hopes it would never be needed again.

Thor was able to save a small band of Asgardian refugees, including Loki, who were now residing on Earth. Those who Thanos obliterated with the power of the Gauntlet had been restored – much to everyone’s relief. But it hadn’t been a clean reversal of events. While it wasn’t common knowledge what had happened exactly – it was obvious that a large part of the population had shifted briefly out of existence. On the upside, however, it was hard to find the effort to be villainous and be grateful to be alive at the same time – thus the aforementioned extensive down time for the world’s mightiest heroes.

But for Pepper Potts, this meant an awful lot of listening to the whining and complaining of a specific Avenger who was already bored with their moment of peace. It didn’t help that said Avenger also had access to her home and office via his flying suit of armor, genius hacking skills, and enough charm to weasel out of getting arrested by the police. And having known Tony for so long – and for a while, dated – Pepper had an inkling that something else was also going on. This hunch she had no qualms about testing upon finding Tony, armor and all, sitting at her desk after returning from her lunch break for the third day in a row.

“Tony, go back to the Tower and get out of my hair."

"Hey, Pep." Tony tried.

"I know things aren’t quite like they used to be – but that is not an excuse to avoid your friends and teammates.” Pepper announced, cutting Tony off.

“Er…” Tony began again.

“Please. Leave.” She added, thinking about all the work she needed to get done that afternoon.

“You’re not… _wrong_. At least, not entirely. But this time it really isn’t about _me_. I promise.” Tony pleaded. It was a good thing Pepper was immune to his large, brown, puppy eyes – or so she had thought.

A second of hesitation turned into two. “Fine. What is it?” Pepper caved. “But if it is something stupid, I’m not above calling security to haul your ass out of here. I really have work to do, Tony.”

“You recall that the Avengers had a… closed door meeting with the High and Mighty this morning. The building was swarming with press, of course, as usual. But this time… well, there were others there too. _Supporters_. Been a while since we’ve had those.” Tony began.

“Go on.” Pepper urged.

“I think it would be best if you just saw this for yourself.” Tony spun Pepper’s monitor around to show her a video clip. He pushed play.

_Steve, Tony, and Natasha were being escorted through the crowds as they exited a building after the meeting. Reporters kept asking about “The Mysterious Event” from a few months prior, which had left the world a bit shaken. The Avengers had officially admitted involvement but no one was volunteering details. The alien ships and the battle in Wakanda proved an outside, malevolent force had been the cause – just like the invasion of New York. Perhaps that explained the large crowd of supporters that the three Avengers had to wade through after waiving off the press._

_Some supporters held signs that simply read “Thank You”. Others read, “My Son/Daughter Was Saved by the Avengers”, “I’m Alive Because of You”, and “Long Live the Avengers.” Undoubtedly there were probably still protesters and conspiracy theorists among them, but for once the atmosphere was cheerful – pleasant even. Steve and Tony shook hands with some of them, big smiles on their faces for a change. Natasha, always one to keep her cool, smiled politely but kept walking to their waiting car and stepped inside. Tony was about to get in next, Steve trailing behind, when suddenly there was a loud shout._

_“Wait! Please, wait!” Two handsome young men pushed their way to the front of the crowd and caught Steve’s outstretched hand in their own._

_“Captain… Captain America.” One of them said, the taller one, stuttering and breathless. “I’m just… so grateful. Please. You… you saved Ben. My… Benny. You saved him. I know you did.” The other man blushed and looked down in embarrassment, but still with a smile. “I… I would have died without him.”_

_At this, the crowd parted and the press pushed forward again – their cameras ready to capture the Captain’s response. The taller man put his arm around Ben, and they looked soulfully into each other’s eyes. The shorter man must have been one of Thanos’ victims._

_“I played a small part. But your gratitude is_ most _appreciated.” Steve answered sincerely._

_“Would you… I know… this is asking a lot.” Ben asked this time. “Would you officiate our wedding?” His cheeks were starting to go fiery red, but his partner held his hand in support._

_There was a collective “Awe” from the crowd. Flashing from cameras intensified._

_“Your…_ wedding _?” Steve seemed to stumble over the word. “To… to each other…”_

_The two men kissed, a brief chaste kiss, but one that caused the crowds to cheer – the devotion the two had to one another evident in their smiling faces. At this, Steve froze. For a split second it seemed like things might get awkward, but Tony quickly intervened._

_“Wow! What an honor.” Tony punched Steve’s shoulder, but kept talking to keep everyone’s attention. “You know while he does have the title of Captain, I don’t think the privilege to perform weddings is bestowed in the Army – right Stevo? Although, you know, being Captain_ America _– exceptions might be made.”_

_“Er…” Was all that Steve managed to say._

_“Tell you what, here’s my card. Give my assistant all the details and we will see what we can do about expanding Stars and Stripes abilities in said capacity.” Tony kept smiling as he handed over a business card to the two men. The crowd cheered again._

_“Thank you, Tony.” Steve finally managed, seeming to have recovered a little – at least enough that he let himself be herded into the car. Tony gave a sunny smile to the crowd, a dramatic thumbs-up and a wink to the gay couple, and followed Steve._

 “Oh.” Was all Pepper could think to say.

“Yeeeaaaahhhh.” Tony drawled. “So I came here. I don’t feel like giving Grandpa _the talk_. And I know Nat isn’t going to.”

“Afterward… you didn’t… he didn’t ask in the car?” Pepper tried.

“Nope.” Tony supplied, but then he looked guilty. “I may have changed the topic in order to distract him. Aggressively.”

Pepper took a second to translate that. “You mean you got in an argument. With Steve. Again.”

“It was just a little one.” Tony confessed.

Pepper sighed in frustration. “Patch things up with Steve. _Now_. And I will make a call to HR for a qualified professional to meet with him. Deal?”

“Deal.” Tony looked relieved.

“Come to think of it… Sergeant Barnes is staying at the Tower now too. As are Lang and Wilson. With all your new recruits, maybe it would be a good idea to set up a meeting.” Pepper continued.

“No. Pepper. No deal.” Tony back-tracked.

Pepper smiled deviously. “I know your schedule is free – and it doesn’t hurt to go over the basics of sexual harassment and sensitivity trainings every now and then. Might even be useful.”

“I take it back! Pepper. I came here… this is not about _me_! I’m leaving. Happy now?” Tony got up from Peppers desk and started walking to the door.

“Come on, Tony. Since when have you ever been afraid to talk about sex?” Pepper teased.

“There is a big difference between how I talk and what you are proposing.” Tony whined.

“You aren’t building a very strong case by admitting that.” Pepper laughed.

Tony just walked out the door.

***---***---***

Meanwhile, Dr. Bruce Banner had a problem of his own. The Hulk had come out, reluctantly, to keep Bruce from dying in combat against Thanos and his armies – but things didn’t go back to normal like he expected upon returning to the Tower after Thanos’ defeat. He still had no idea what was wrong.

Granted, Bruce should be pleased. He had spent years running away from attachment, knowing that it was all temporary if he lost control and the Big Guy destroyed everything. But the Hulk had survived on his own for years on an alien world – and quite comfortably, it had seemed. Bruce couldn’t deny anymore that the Hulk was his own person, not just a monster. The problem being, how were they going to talk things out, given that they shared a body and his greener half refused to cooperate?

“FRIDAY, what’s the status of the completion of the Playground?” Bruce asked from his usual perch on a swivel stool in one of Tony’s labs.

“Reinforcements to the surrounding structure should be complete by tomorrow afternoon. Are there any additions or alterations you wish to make?” FRIDAY’s disembodied voice replied promptly.

“No, I’m just anxious to see when we can do a test run. Keep Tony posted, will you?” Bruce asked.

“Of course, sir.”

The Playground, as Tony had dubbed it, was meant to be a place Bruce would feel safe letting go complete control to try and tempt the Hulk into taking over. A floor of the Tower was being designed with the Hulk’s height, weight, and strength in mind – with a specific emphasis on it feeling comfortable, rather than cage-like. Plus there were things to smash and climb upon. Nothing was Hulk-proof, of course. If the Big Guy wanted to destroy things, Bruce had no doubt that he would find a way.

Thor actually had a hand in helping to design it, as he had seen the Hulk’s quarters on Sakaar. It was spacious and brightly colored. But the real work had been using materials that were durable while adding structural support to the walls, floor, and ceiling – to ensure the safety of the other inhabitants of the Tower, just in case. Bruce had tried to get the Hulk to give him some input, but nothing happened. He could still feel the Hulk, a constant presence inside his mind, but that was it.

The logistics of actually doing the test-run were complicated. Tony had asked a favor of the wizard, Dr. Strange - who also happened to be a brilliant neuroscientist. He was going to put Bruce under a kind of hypnosis – something that he was really nervous about. Bruce had basically been asleep inside the Hulk for two years, he wasn’t exactly eager to chance another prolonged black-out. But his rational brain kept reminding him that the reverse had been the reality for the Hulk for over a decade.

Should the test run work as planned, Bruce was constructing a series of questions either Tony, who would be present as back-up, or Dr. Strange would attempt to ask the Hulk – if he was amenable to the idea. The whole affair would be recorded on several hidden cameras for Bruce to review later.

It was still unclear, however, how sophisticated Hulk’s cognitive abilities actually were. His vocabulary and sentence structure suggested the mind of a child – this hypothesis further supported by an apparent lack of emotional control akin to the underdeveloped pre-frontal cortex of a minor. But the kinds of questions Bruce wanted to ask the Hulk were not the kind one would normally pose to a kid – especially not one that was liable to topple buildings in a tantrum.

Bruce read his list of questions out loud to the empty lab, hoping that they were simple enough – without being condescending. The last thing he wanted to do was insult the Hulk over some minor misunderstanding or assumption. They had a lot of issues to work out.

He was interrupted by Tony stomping in from the elevator, obviously in a mood. Bruce didn’t ask. Tony would share if and when he wanted to. _Highway to Hell_ started blaring from the sound system – which was enough of an answer in and of itself.

***---***---***

Steve Rogers was in a mood too. Bucky watched his friend thoroughly knock the sand out of yet another punching bag from his own position on a bench in the training rooms. It wasn’t hard to deduce what had happened either at or after the meeting, considered Tony had also attended. Apparently Iron Man had always found a way to get under Steve’s skin, even before their falling out. Bucky still felt rather guilty about his hand in all of it – even if a lot of what he had done hadn’t been his fault.

The Avengers as a team might never have come back together had it not been for Thanos. Things weren’t quite the same as they had been, according to Steve, but at least they were all back to sort of being friends. Fighting together, on the same side, seemed to help mend the rifts that differences of opinion had once created. But not all of their demons had disappeared along with Gauntlet. Bucky knew it wouldn’t be long before old hurts resurfaced.

The bag Steve had been pummeling finally tore all down one side, leaking the remainder of its contents in a stream across the floor. “Do you want me to take a shot at him?” Bucky offered, startling his friend.

“Bucky! How long have you been watching me?” Steve looked a bit guilty.

“Long enough.”

Steve took off his gloves before replying. “Take a shot at who?”

“Don’t act dumb.” Bucky rolled his eyes. “What has Stark done this time?”

“ _Oh_. That.” Steve admitted. “Nothing really. Just picking a fight out of habit, I guess. Besides that isn’t… that’s not why I’m here.”

Bucky didn’t look convinced.

“Something… something else happened today. I’m just trying to get my head around it.” Steve confessed.

“And…?” Bucky prompted.

“Er… I’m not sure… I mean we haven’t really talked about them in ages. It’s… _painful_.” Steve seemed reluctant to continue. “But… do you remember… did you know about Dugan and Falsworth? Back during the war.” Steve asked.

“I’m not sure what you mean.” Bucky answered carefully.

“The Commandos. Dum Dum and Jim. Sometimes… sometimes they shared a tent.” Steve’s cheeks were red and he wouldn’t look Bucky in the eyes.

“I remember.” Bucky replied.

Steve was silent for a moment, seeming to collect his thoughts before continuing. “Do you think… I mean… with the hell we went through… it didn’t seem so bad to turn a blind eye. No one really talked about it back then. Not seriously.”

“What is this about, Steve?”

“I… met a couple of guys today. Guys like Dugan and Falsworth. Only they didn’t hide it. What they felt for each other, I mean. No one seemed to mind, though. It was… surreal.” Steve continued.

Bucky looked thoughtful.

“You know I wouldn’t… I mean, I couldn’t be upset about two fellas… together. Not after the War.” Steve insisted, meeting Bucky’s eyes briefly.

“I know.” Sergeant Barnes affirmed.

Steve looked downcast again. “I asked FRIDAY. Falsworth… he never married. Dugan tried. I guess it worked for a while, but…”

Bucky was still confused. “Why does that matter now?”

“FRIDAY says it is legal now… for fellas to marry each other. I guess I just feel sad for the two of them. What they had was… special. If they didn’t have to hide it back then… what would that have been like?” Steve followed up.

“These guys you met today – they were married?” Bucky asked.

“Well, no. Not yet. They asked me… I mean, they wanted me to help. To officiate the ceremony.” Steve said, embarrassed again. “No one’s ever asked me to do _that_ before.”

“Shit.” Bucky replied.

“Yeah.” Steve added, lamely.

“Are you going to do it?” Bucky asked.

“Heck, I don’t know! I thought marriage was all about starting a family. Making a piece of the world your own. Buy a house, go to work, come home to a hot meal and kids. That’s what made sense. That’s what I know. But that doesn’t seem to be how things work anymore.” Steve fiddled with the straps of his gloves.

Bucky was used to Steve needing to vent. He would work things out on his own eventually, but his best friend being there always seemed to move things along faster – even if Bucky didn’t contribute much to the conversation.

“People used to say things about Falsworth. You might remember. Horrible things. I still don’t understand all that hate. But I knew why Dum Dum and Jim kept things secret.” Steve added.

“I remember what they said. Knocked a couple of them on their ass when it got out of line. When they got cruel.” The memories were clouded by time and conditioning, but Bucky could still recall that much.

“At first… I guess part of me thought they were just messing around. Didn’t think much of it, you know?” Continued Steve.

Bucky nodded.

“But it was real, wasn’t it.” Steve wasn’t asking a question.

“It was real.” Bucky affirmed again.

***---***---***

Upon Tony’s insistence, Pepper was present as 'moral support' for the first meeting. The gentleman from Stark Industries HR who Pepper chose to lead them was named Dr. Fields, an expert both on human sexuality and a member of the LGBTQ community – personal experience seemed to help in matters of sensitivity training. Although, the spiked green hair was a _bit_ distracting.

Setting up the meeting turned out to be easy – the hard part was corralling all of the Avengers into one room at one time. Pepper might have had a private word with Captain America about the importance of everyone’s attendance – even if she didn’t fully expound upon the meeting’s intent. She wasn’t sure what he had told everyone today’s meeting was going to be about – seeing as there was a whole spectrum of general readiness in attire and general baring.

Bruce, Clint, Thor, and Wanda were in street casual attire and seemed a bit nervous. Scott, Sam, Natasha, and Bucky were in full tactical gear and seemed on edge – as if they were going into battle. Tony was in his 'I know I look dashing in this' three-piece suit – and possibly already tipsy from a hip flask he kept procuring from somewhere, even if it was only 11:00 am. Vision and Dr. Strange (who kept insisting he wasn’t an actual Avenger, but happened to be in the Tower) were sporting their usual capes and garish colors, but both looked relaxed. Rhodey was in a t-shirt, wore his leg braces, and looked like he would rather be enjoying a mid-day nap. The only official member that was missing was Peter.

“Soooo… is everyone here?” Dr. Fields asked from the front of the room after everyone had taken a seat.

Steve and Pepper both nodded.

“Excellent. I’ve never presented to super heroes before – this should be fun.”

“A presentation? _Really_?” Clint slumped further into his chair.

“Everyone. Pepper requested a special meeting of the Avengers. I understand today _is_ a training session – just not the usual variety. Please show respect to her guest.” Steve nearly commanded through clenched teeth before turning to Pepper. “Miss Potts?”

“ _Seriously_?” Scott took off his helmet, revealing a surprisingly effective pout. He always seemed a bit eager about taking part as one of the Avengers.

Steve cleared his throat – loudly.

“Thank you, Steve. And I should add that I’m delighted that you could all make it. Given the recent expansion of the team, Tony may have… _inadvertently_ suggested that it would be a good idea to ensure group cohesion through a variety of sensitivity trainings. Which means, for those of you unfamiliar with how he operates – that I do all the work in making it happen.” Pepper teased.

Thor laughed and wagged his finger and Tony – but no one else seemed amused. Par for the course.

“I would like to introduce Dr. Greg Fields from Stark Industries Human Resources Department. He will be doing a presentation on diversity for us today. Doctor, the floor is all yours.” And with that, Pepper sat back down next to Tony – and confiscated his hip flask.

“ _Wow_. Okay, I can tell already that this is going to go down _super_. Good try at making this a formal shindig, Miss Potts, but I think it best if we pretend that _that_ didn’t happen. Let’s start over.” Dr. Fields stole a chair and sat down, much to everyone’s surprise. “Of course I already know all your names – earth’s mightiest heroes and all that – but none of you know _me_ at all. My name is Greg. But I bet you didn’t know that when I was born my parents named be Marcia.”

Thor laughed again, and this time there were a few other discrete chuckles.

“Horrible business being called Marcia. I mean… what kind of name is that for a little boy?” Greg continued. “You know what was worse? My mom insisted that I wore dresses. It took ages before I finally convinced her otherwise. Years. Surely I’m not alone in that. Anyone?”

“Oh, I like him. Good job, Pep.” Tony said, in a whisper that was perhaps a tad too loud.

“Tony, right? I’m sure you’ve done battle against people’s expectations once or twice. In fact, I might have even read about it in some magazine. Tell me, are the rumors true?” Greg teased.

“About what?” Tony giggled.

Greg gave Tony a suspicious eye. “I’m sure they are. Other people are _always_ right about these sorts of things – I shouldn’t even have to ask. Isn’t that right, Pepper? The best source for intimate details about a person is always public opinion. What to wear. Who they like. How they fuck.”

At this, the room burst into laughter. Perhaps the training wasn’t going to be _that_ bad.

“No, seriously. I’m here today to talk to everyone about sex. Might as well make it fun, right?” Greg smiled. “I’ll start with my own story and we can go from there. I really was born Marcia Fields. I’m transgender. And while you may already know what that means, I’m going to explain anyway. You see, I grew up in a tiny, conservative town in the Mid-West where things were pretty black and white. It makes life easier to see things that way – but it isn’t true.”

“Hear, hear!” Tony called. Pepper kicked him.

“That’s alright, Miss Potts. I want to encourage participation.” Greg laughed. “Even if someone doesn’t agree with me. I mean that. Especially if anyone wants to ask questions. Because what’s the point of enduring my presentation if you don’t leave having learned something, right?”

“Point taken, Dr. Fields. But if he starts singing, I’ll do more than kick.” Pepper replied, playing along to muffled laughter.

“However, I do not expect any of you to share anything if you do not feel comfortable. Despite what the gossip columns might have us believe, everyone deserves some privacy – especially about sensitive topics such as sexual orientation and gender identity. I would ask that anything that is revealed in this room be treated with respect. Can we agree on that?” Greg looked around to ensure everyone was on board. Everyone nodded.

“Good. Anyway, as I was saying – there really wasn’t anything wrong with my mother’s belief that the world was black and white, especially since it had never been challenged. Her beliefs sprang up both from her own experiences as well as the expectations of generations of others like her. See, my mother is what we call straight and cisgender. She was comfortable with the gender assigned to her at birth, married my dad, and had me. I was her challenge. Thankfully, after meeting other people who identified as transgender, my mom took me to the doctor and I started hormone therapy. A few surgeries and a decade or so later and _voila,_ she had a son.”

“And what a handsome man you turned out to be! Isn’t he handsome, Pep?” Tony beamed. Pepper did her best to ignore him.

“That brings up the second point to my story. I had another surprise for my dear mum – even though she had been such a trooper. See, I was so fixated on getting my body to match the gender my mind said it should be that I never seriously considered who I wanted to pursue as a life partner. It turns out not only did I want to have a dick of my own – I kind of liked dicks in general.” Greg laughed along with several others. “I was lucky to meet a man named Brian in graduate school and we fell in love. We’ve been together for six years now.”

“Well, I’m officially jealous. Pepper, give me back my drink.” Tony tried to steal the hip flask back – but he was unsuccessful.

“Congratulations.” Bruce offered, sincerely.

“Thank you. I’m very lucky – which is why I volunteer to do these kinds of trainings. To pay it forward so that other people can find their happy endings.” Greg smiled.

“But… I mean, pardon me for asking… if you were a woman… and you like guys – why didn’t you just... settle down? Get married.” Steve asked, a bit red in the face.

“I think the best response is that I never was a woman. Sure, my body insisted it was female – but that wasn’t who I knew I was inside. But that was a good question, Captain.” Greg replied warmly.

“So this ‘ _Diversity Training_ ’ is about being accepting of the LGBTQ community?” Sam asked.

“Mmm… sounds delicious. Although you forgot the ‘A’ for Avocado, I believe.” Greg replied cheekily. This time everyone but Thor laughed. “Sam, why don’t you tell everyone what LGBTQ stands for.”

“Er… okay. Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer/Questioning.” Sam replied dutifully.

“Why do you think I didn’t lead with that, Sam?” Greg asked.

“Er… I don’t know. Is this  _not_ about that?” Sam looked unsure of himself.

“It’s part of it. But I learned something growing up in that black and white world about labels. They can be useful, but they can also be severely limiting to gain a broader understanding. I am more than just transgender or gay – I’m a whole person with different experiences – sexual, emotional, platonic, and romantic. So I’ll give you an easier question, Sam. What is the most commonly used symbol for the LGBTQ community?”

“The rainbow.” Sam answered, with confidence this time.

“Exactly! A full spectrum of color. So that’s the lesson I want to share with you guys today – even if you get nothing else. Everyone and everything is on a spectrum – even if it seems easier to lump people together into camps, or to accept the black and white world of the majority.” Greg beamed.

Pepper was quite impressed with Dr. Fields’ approach. He wasn’t singling anyone out and kept things entertaining during his explanations – even though it was obvious several members of the group already understood. Dr. Strange and Dr. Banner offered support with examples from their own practices. They covered the Kinsey Scale, Preferred Pronouns, Gay Rights as Civil Rights, and more. Neither Steve nor Bucky made any more comments, and they didn’t seem defensive or _too_ uncomfortable – which was the whole point really.

“Not that this hasn’t been fun… but can we go? Your comment about avocados reminded me about this great place to get…” Pepper kicked Tony again, making him stop.

“I’m actually getting rather peckish myself. Why don’t we adjourn for lunch? Pepper has arranged for me to be available all afternoon to speak with anyone who wishes one-on-one. And I’ll be back next month for another session. Diversity is about a lot more than just sex, I’m afraid – but I shall endeavor to make it nearly as fun.” Greg stood up and everyone else followed suit.

Pepper gave Tony a sly smile – but he just rolled his eyes. No, it hadn’t been that bad at all.


	2. Chapter 2

After indulging Tony in joining him and Dr. Strange for lunch at a rooftop café – where they enjoyed a rather decadent variation of avocado toast – Bruce and the gang returned to the Tower for their first test run of the Playground. He was incredibly nervous.

“You know this might not work, right?” Bruce confessed to Tony in the elevator.

“Oh, don’t be such a Debbie Downer. Of course it will work.” Tony brushed him off.

“Dr. Banner, I assure you that if we _are_ unsuccessful today – I’m happy to assist some other time. There are other methods we could try.” Dr. Strange said kindly.

“Thanks.” The elevator stopped at the newly refurbished 43rd floor.

“Wow. The horrible shade of orange Thor picked out for the carpets still makes my eyes water.” Tony complained. Although Bruce secretly rather liked how they looked against the dark hardwood floors.

It really wasn’t that bad – but certainly not your average modern décor. Tan and red drapes sectioned off the living area from a very basic dining room. There was a massive, orange and yellow bed with an abundance of pillows in the bedroom and even a Hulk-sized washroom. The place still seemed a bit sparse, with no superfluous pieces of furniture – but there were several very large, striped vases and sandstone slabs arranged artfully on the walls. All of which were easy to replace should the Hulk decide they were more fun to smash than to look at.

“Very… colorful.” Said Dr. Strange, tactfully.

“Pity it isn’t green. Why isn’t there any green?” Tony asked.

“I don’t like green.” Bruce said, petulantly.

Tony and Dr. Strange shared a look – reading much more into his statement than Bruce had intended.

“Let’s just get on with it.” Bruce took the lead into the main living area. The three of them took their positions.

“Remember, you can call this off at any time. If something unexpected happens, we’ve got your back, Bruce.” Tony said, supportively. “No one gets hurt.”

“Thanks.” Bruce still felt nervous, but he also needed answers.

“Unlike traditional hypnosis, all I will be doing is sustaining your mind in a state of transition between you and the Hulk. Physical manifestations of your alter-ego may come and go.” Dr. Strange reminded them all. “Since intense feelings of rage seem to be the trigger, it is likely for both of you to be a bit… _emotional_. Best to keep any questions simple and straightforward.”

“Right. Tony, you’ve got the list?” Bruce asked.

Tony tapped his glasses – which were, of course, hooked-up to FRIDAY.

“Then let’s begin.” Dr. Strange’s hands began to glow.

For a few moments, nothing seemed to be happening. Bruce tried to will control over to the Hulk as he would do in battle. Then he tried working himself up with painful memories. He was about to ask Tony to punch him in the face when the shift began. His sight grew cloudy and out of focus while his thoughts became sluggish. He tried not to panic.

“Aaaa... rgh.” A sound came out, unbidden from his own throat. Was the Hulk trying to say something?

Bruce found that he couldn’t wrestle control back over his own voice – a problem he _had_ anticipated. He only had one body after all. Neither Tony nor Dr. Strange made any indication that there was trouble afoot, so Bruce gave in. Whatever Hulk needed to get out of his system before they started – perhaps it was fair to let him.

“Out! Get out! In Hulk’s head. Get out!” The Hulk roared.

“Easy there, Jolly Green. We just want to talk. No one is going to hurt you.” Tony soothed.

“Metal… Man? Banner… not asleep.” Bruce was impressed the Hulk was so astute, for having such a limited vocabulary.

Dr. Strange and the Hulk had never been formally introduced, now that Bruce thought about it. Would the Hulk understand that he wasn’t a threat?

“That’s right. We want to talk to both you _and_ Bruce – together.” Tony continued.

Some physical changes must have manifested, because Bruce found himself looking down at Dr. Steven Strange from quite a ways up. “Wizard in Hulk’s head. Don’t like Wizard.”

“Hulk, this is Dr. Strange. He’s just here to help. But if you want him to leave, that’s okay.” Tony was sincere. “But could you answer a question for me first?”

“What Metal Man want?” Hulk sounded irritated.

“Why won’t you come out and play with us anymore, Buddy? We’ve missed you.” Tony was deviating from the script quite a bit – much to Bruce’s annoyance.

But the Hulk didn’t respond right away. Bruce could feel the Hulk trying to withdraw back inside him. Emotions he did not expect started flooding through him. Shame. Confusion. Loneliness. Bruce found that he was now closer to his normal height – looking Tony nearly eye to eye.

“It’s okay. You can tell us. We won’t be mad.” Tony pleaded.

“Hulk… hate Banner.” His answer didn’t seem to help much.

“Why is that?” Tony asked.

Again, the complex swirl of emotions threatened to drown Bruce’s consciousness. Perhaps the Hulk just didn’t have the right words to express all of what he was feeling.

“Banner and Red Hair. Banner wants. Hulk… took Banner away.”

“Red Hair? You mean Natasha?” Tony asked.

Bruce hadn’t realized the Hulk even knew about that – and he hadn’t really disclosed all of what had happened between him and Natasha before he disappeared to anyone else either. But it seemed like his friend was putting two and two together.

“Banner think Hulk stupid. Hulk not stupid.” The Hulk continued.

“Well, I don’t think you’re stupid. Can we be friends again? See Bruce and I created this whole place – just for you! Do you like it?” Tony had definitely tossed Bruce’s carefully planned list of questions to the wind. Figures.

“House for Hulk?” Bruce could tell the Hulk hadn’t really been looking at his surroundings much, but his feet now carried him around the room to look at everything.

“That’s right, Buddy. Please come out and play again – like old times. You can stay here as long as you like. Just so long as we get to see Bruce sometimes too. See, I’m friends with him as well.” Tony and Dr. Strange followed the Hulk around carefully.

“Banner not like to share.” The Hulk said with disdain.

“No. Admittedly, he hasn’t been very good about that in the past.” Tony replied. Bruce felt a bit betrayed. “But you didn’t share with him when you went to Sakaar.”

The Hulk sneered, but Bruce could feel the guilt that emerged proceeding Tony’s remark.

“Can’t keep this up all day, gentleman.” Dr. Strange cut in. He did look a little tired.

“Wizard still in Hulk’s head. Stop. Get out!” The Hulk roared.

“Will you come out and visit us then?” Tony asked, quickly. “No more hiding?”

This seemed to be the wrong choice of words. The Hulk roared again. “Hulk not hide! Banner hide. Hulk strong. _Smash_ puny Banner. _Smash_ sneaky Wizard.”

“Okay… okay! Not hiding.” Tony amended. “But you will come out and play?”

Hulk seemed to consider this for a second. “No Red Hair?”

“If that’s what you want, Natasha will stay far away. I promise.” Tony lied. Natasha would do as she pleased, of course, but his reassurance seemed to calm the Hulk.

“Hulk not like Red Hair.” The Hulk seemed sullen. Bruce wanted to laugh at the Hulk’s choice of words, but Tony became even more serious.

“Did… did Natasha hurt you… or Bruce?” Tony asked. Bruce quickly sobered up.

Hulk seemed evasive. “Not hurt Hulk. Hulk too strong.”

“Did she… hurt Bruce?” Tony repeated, looking dangerous all of the sudden.

“No! Red Hair like Banner. Banner hurt… Hulk.” The emotions were swirling again, strong and fierce. To say that Bruce was surprised by the Hulk’s response was an understatement.

“Oh” was all that Tony said.

“Hulk not stupid.” The Hulk insisted again.

“I thought we went over this already. You know, I agree.” Tony’s voice was kind. “But how did Bruce hurt Hulk?”

“Hulk and Banner share… _inside_. Hulk know Banner.” The Hulk began. The effort it took for the Hulk to describe this was more than evident to Bruce. “Banner… want Red Hair. _Want_.”

The absurdity of the phrasing was still hilarious, but Tony didn’t point it out and make fun. The Hulk emphasized the last word again. “Want.”

“Bruce and Natasha… they wanted to become closer. More than friends?” Tony tried.

The Hulk nodded. “Wanted more than friends.”

“But you… don’t like Natasha?” Tony translated.

“Banner not care what Hulk wants.” The Hulk nodded again. “Hulk shares inside. Banner not share.”

“So you’re upset with Bruce for… not consulting you about his relationship with Natasha?” Tony deadpanned. His humor seemed to be returning.

“Time to say your goodbyes one way or another. Thirty seconds.” Dr. Strange groaned.

“So… what does Hulk want?” Tony asked – probably in reference to going back to sleep or coming out to play. But the Hulk just kept their previous conversation going.

“Hulk want someone strong. Banner and Hulk share.” The Hulk continued.

“Er… _okay_. Polyamory would, technically, require sharing.” Tony giggled. Bruce would have been embarrassed had he had full function of his faculties.

“Hulk want someone like Hulk.” Bruce cringed. The Hulk was unique. This scenario was becoming just a bit too much like Frankenstein’s Monster for his taste.

“Ok, Buddy. A strong woman. Got it. Next time…” Tony started, but the Hulk cut him off.

“Not… _woman_.”

Dr. Strange dropped his hands, out of shock or exhaustion – Bruce wasn’t sure. His vision slowly cleared up and the Hulk retreated back into his mind. None of them spoke for nearly a full minute.

“FRIDAY?” Tony finally asked.

“Yes, sir?”

“Is Dr. Fields still in the building?”

***---***---***

Steve had been quiet all through lunch after the sensitivity training session. Obviously, Tony had set it up in an attempt to help out with the awkward proposal the gay couple had made just a few days prior – and it seemed to have been helpful, in a way. It proved Tony cared, at least, even if his methods were unconventional. Natasha kept giving Bucky knowing looks during the presentation, however, so the subtlety regarding who was the intended audience had _not_ been entirely successful.

Not everyone opted to sign-up for a private meeting with Dr. Greg Fields that afternoon, but surprisingly it was more than just Steve and Bucky. Being able to ask awkward questions without fear of reproach from the rest of the team was a smart set-up – it had probably been Pepper’s idea. Plus, it was easy to like Greg. Steve said he was interested to see how their monthly diversity meetings progressed in bringing the team together, at least.

But Steve emerged from the meeting room after his time with Dr. Fields with a fake smile in place, which Bucky didn’t care for at all. He didn’t ask, of course. Steve would tell him what was going on eventually – he always did. With some trepidation, Bucky took his turn with the doctor.

“Have a seat, Mr. Barnes. Make yourself comfortable.” Greg was already sitting – or lounging really, on one of the over-stuffed chairs. His casual style did make him rather approachable, Bucky had to admit.

“Doctor.”

“Greg, please. I think it wouldn’t be _too_ presumptuous of me to assume you have a working theory as to why I was called in – being that you and the Captain are so close.” Greg didn’t waste time on the small talk, which Bucky rather appreciated.

“Steve confided in me about what happened the other day, if that is what you mean.” Bucky replied modestly.

“And I won’t insult you by not assuming, as others might have done, that you were already familiar with much of what we discussed today during my presentation. Although, perhaps you might have used different terminology years ago. Is that right?” Greg continued.

“Er… you’re not wrong. But to be frank, it wasn’t considered polite to talk about… back then. The… _openness_ you have – that people now-a-days have – is a might intimidating.” Bucky added.

“Steve said the same thing.” Greg admitted. “I won’t lie to you and say I understand how the changes between the society you knew and the world you find yourself in now might be affecting you. But despite how I waffle on, I am rather good at listening – should you want to talk about it.”

“Thank you, sir. I think… mostly I just want to know how to help Steve. He likes to pretend that everything is okay, but I can tell that they aren’t.”

Greg smiled. “You are a good friend, James. Is it okay if I call you James?”

Bucky nodded.

“Steve and I had a good chat. I know that having you close by, supporting him as you have done, will help. But he’s just as worried for you as you are of him.” Greg shifted in his seat. “Why don’t you tell me about how _you_ felt about today’s training?”

“I didn’t see anything wrong with what you had to say. After all the shit I’ve seen… it seems silly to tell people how they should feel or who they should love.” Bucky replied.

“That’s very objective of you. You wouldn’t resent someone, even a teammate, if they came out to you about something we talked about today?” Greg asked carefully. The way he asked made Bucky curious.

“Back… during the war, there were buddies of mine – friends. They were… _together_. I don’t see why I would feel different about the Avengers, any of them, if they were the same.” Which was the truth. “But… so far as I know, that isn’t the case.”

“Good answer. It isn’t necessarily wrong to assume based on the information we have. I just want to make sure that you feel safe in asking questions. Perhaps it wasn’t polite to talk about such things once – but I’m not necessarily keen on being polite, as you might have noticed.” Greg laughed.

Bucky relaxed. “I suppose it isn’t easy for me to understand… _not_ wanting to be in the body I have, at least not in the way you did. But with all that has happened to me, sometimes I’m a little uncomfortable in my own skin. Mostly up here anymore.” Bucky tapped the side of his head. “The arm… well, that’s another story.”

Greg nodded, encouraging Bucky to continue.

“You don’t really want to listen to all that, though.” Bucky tried.

Greg smiled. “But you might need to say it – and you know I won’t judge. Whatever it is.”

Bucky considered the offer for a few seconds before continuing. “Before the war, I went out with dames all the time – to the pictures, out dancing, or down the boardwalk. It was easy. Fun.” Bucky confessed. “But the war… and all that happened after, it changed things. Changed me.”

“That isn’t unusual for people who go through trauma – even if your case is rather unique. How do you feel things have changed?” Greg asked sincerely.

“I see exposed vital points before I register faces. Touching people is… _difficult_. Even shaking hands. My training was so thorough – it would just take a small slip for me to hurt someone. Kill even. Going on a date like before seems… _laughable_. Impossible.” This wasn’t easy for Bucky to admit.

Greg didn’t reply, but nodded abstractly.

“Even more than that… I don’t even want it anymore. Not like before.”

“Could you explain for me what exactly it is you don’t want anymore? A lot of people confuse sex with intimacy. Sex is just sex. But we all need to feel cared for – like we belong.” Greg prompted.

Bucky thought carefully for a moment. “Sex. It seems… too dangerous. Too complicated.”

“I don’t see anything wrong with that. How would it make you feel if you never got those desires back?”

“I don’t know.” Bucky said honestly.

“I have a great friend in HR named Amanda. She’s asexual. Do you know what that means?” Asked Greg.

“No.”

“She’s never wanted sex. But every now and then she comes over to my place to watch movies and share a glass of wine with Brian and me. We are safe, you see – no interest in getting in her pants being gay and all that. She’s become like family.” Greg paused – letting that sink in. “However, in your case – given time – you might find that those feelings come back. Although, I doubt that things will ever be the same. Would you welcome their return?”

“I don’t know.” Bucky repeated.

“That’s okay, James. But I’m here if you need someone to talk to about it. Anytime.” Greg smiled.

The sincerity of Dr. Fields offer moved Bucky. Therapists of all kinds had been thrown at him since his return from Wakanda and the official pardon given from the United States Government – but none of them had been so… _relaxed_ about letting Bucky find his own answers to their questions. It was refreshing.

Bucky was interrupted in replying by the door flying open. Tony waltzed in followed by a rather pale and worried looking Dr. Banner.

“Er… while I do appreciate your enthusiasm for more of my company – I think…” Greg began.

Tony waved him off. “Emergency. Bucky, you don’t mind, do you?”

Being that this was one of the few times Tony had even spoke to him since the Avengers re-assembled, Bucky stuttered a bit over his response. “Er… n-no, we were… about done anyway. I think.”

“Want me to stay, Bruce?” Tony asked.

“No. I mean, Yes. I don’t know.” Bruce looked shell-shocked.

“What kind of emergency? Are the Avengers being called on a mission?” Bucky asked – regaining his mental footing. Although why Steve wasn’t calling the shots was a mystery.

“Stand down, Soldier. An emergency for our friend Dr. Fields – sexual in nature and… _complicated_.” Tony looked at Bruce. “How about I wait outside? Or rather… in my lab. FRIDAY can send for me.”

“Okay.”

“Follow me, Bucky.” Tony urged.

“Er… I’ll talk with you later then, Greg. Thanks.” Bucky vacated his own over-stuffed chair and offered it to Bruce.

Tony grumbled something nasty about social niceties and shooed Bucky out the door. Bucky complied – confused and flustered, but not upset with Tony’s impatience. Dr. Banner did look positively ghostly.

“What was that about?” Asked Bucky.

Once the door was shut, Tony began to laugh. Bucky just watched as the laughter grew more intense until Tony could barely stand. “Oh… I’m… so glad… I’m not Dr. Fields right now.” He finally choked out – although the giggles persisted. “Or Bruce for that matter.”

“Tony?” Bucky tried again.

“Not for me to say, Buck-a-roo. But, _thanks_ … you know… for that.” Tony pointed back towards the meeting room.

“Sure. Is everything okay?” Bucky was still confused.

Tony sighed, sobering up a bit. “ _God_ , nothing is ever easy for that man. He will… work it out. Eventually. Maybe.”


	3. Chapter 3

Four days later, after the shock had worn off some, Bruce was developing a theory. But like all good theories, he first needed to gather additional supporting data. This was going to be… difficult.

Life at the Tower was different after Thanos. For one thing, not everyone lived together anymore. Wanda and Vision were renting a place in upstate New York and considered themselves ‘On Reserve’. Clint lived with his family and was quick to adopt the same status. Dr. Strange considered himself more of a consultant than a full member of the team and remained at the Sanctum. Thor lived with Jane, who had just received a research job at a newly developed telescope array in South America – although he could still fly himself anywhere within minutes.

Those who did live in the Tower usually kept to two camps. Tony and Bruce lived and worked in the upper levels – usually in the lab. Hope van Dyne was a regular visitor and worked as a liaison between Tony and Dr. Pym and kept a close eye on Scott. While Bucky, Steve, Scott, and Sam used the lower levels and the training rooms. Natasha visited both whenever she felt like it – and only when she wasn’t on a mission half-way around the world or visiting Clint.

No one was willing to admit this separation was due to lingering emotional baggage from their initial break-up. When it was required of them, Tony and Steve were polite – friendly even – to each other and the rest of the team. But things had never settled back into their old normal. Bruce wasn’t so sure he liked the new normal, but he didn’t see a way of changing it. Part of him felt guilty for not being on Earth when things started breaking apart, while another part insisted that none of this _bullshit_ was his fault.

“FRIDAY, is Steve Rogers in the Tower?” Bruce asked the AI.

“Affirmative. Steve has retired to his personal quarters.”

It was still much too early in the evening for Steve to be sleeping, but Bruce still felt like he was intruding with his next request. “Could you… I mean, would you ask him if he is currently available? Just for a few minutes. I could even… meet him in his rooms if that is easier.”

“Of course.” She replied.

It only took a few seconds, but silently waiting for a reply didn’t help Bruce with his nerves.

“Rogers said he would welcome your visit, Dr. Banner.”

“Thanks. I’ll be there right away then.” Bruce reluctantly walked to the elevator, abandoning the familiar safety of the lab. Tony was at some fancy gala or charity event that evening anyway, so the place had been unusually quiet.

“Hey, Bruce. Come on in. I’m in the kitchen.” Steve called out when Bruce arrived.

There were dozens of containers that looked like take-out boxes from half the restaurants of Manhattan on the counters. They were each separated into different groups that Bruce couldn’t immediately understand.

“Er… cleaning out your fridge?” Bruce asked as he entered.

“Sort of. Trying to work out which of these are mine and which are Bucky’s. He never seems to remember to take his leftovers back to his place - and then complains that he doesn’t have any food – so we’ve been… _uh_ … sampling the local fare quite a bit recently. Didn’t realize it had gotten quite so out of hand.” Steve chuckled.

The serum did give both men rather hearty appetites – and with all the training they did to stay in top form, the shear amount of food still deemed as leftovers shouldn’t have surprised Bruce.

“I see.” Bruce took up residence on a bar stool and watched as Steve fished the last few boxes out of the fridge.

“So what’s the occasion, Bruce?” Steve finally asked, still sorting boxes.

“Er… well, there have been some recent… _developments_ that I think you should know about. Regarding the Hulk.” Bruce began.

“ _Ah_. I did notice that the Big Guy has been a bit shy recently.” Steve said tactfully.

“And… _well_ … it also has to do with something personal.” Bruce hedged.

At this, Steve picked up on Bruce’s hesitation and set the boxes down – giving Bruce his full attention. “Okay. I take it this isn’t about you joining the ‘Reserve’ team, then?”

“I’ve considered it, seeing as the Hulk hasn’t been very… _reliable_. But no, this isn’t about that.” Bruce answered.

“Alright.” Steve prompted.

“I’ve been trying to make contact with the Hulk, to figure out what’s been going on. You already know about the Playground Tony and I have been building. With the help of Dr. Strange… well, we’ve learned a few things. So I suppose we can start with that. Sort of a status report.” Bruce was worrying his lower lip. “You remember Dr. Fields, from a few days ago?”

“I do.” Steve ducked his head. “In fact, Bucky might have mentioned that you had a session with him.”

“I’m sure he did.” Bruce grumbled.

Steve straightened back up. “He didn’t give me any specifics. Figured it wasn’t really our business.”

“That is the awkward part. It is one thing to listen to a presentation by an expert and quite another to be so candid with friends.” Bruce found it easier to address the counter than to meet Steve’s gaze. “I suppose I should start by telling you about me and Natasha.”

“What about her?” Steve sounded confused.

“Well… she and I became close. _Really_ close, just before the Other Guy took off. Both of us wanted… _more_.” Confessed Bruce.

“Are you trying to say that your… relationship… might compromise the Team?” Steve tried.

“Uh… no. There isn’t anything going on. Not anymore. We’re just friends now.” Bruce clarified. Of course he had told Natasha about what he had learned right after his long session with Dr. Fields several days before.

Steve nodded. “So working with her… it isn’t going to be a problem?”

“No. Not at all.”

“I’m sorry things didn’t work out, I guess. Natasha hasn’t told me anything about this. But… if there isn’t a problem, why bring it up?” Steve continued, confusion still evident in his tone of voice.

Bruce gulped – this was supposed to be the easy part. “I’m demisexual.”

“Uh. I don’t think Dr. Fields covered that one. If he did… I can’t remember what it means. Help me out?” Steve replied with a nervous laugh.

“It means I don’t experience sexual attraction until I have a strong emotional relationship with an individual. Someone of… either gender.” Bruce recited. “It was just easier to only allow myself to pursue women, with social convention and all that. Even though I know it… doesn’t really matter. It was just easier.”

Steve let his attention wander back to sorting boxes and putting them in bags. “I’m still not sure what all of that means – but I suppose if it is important for you to tell me… you don’t need to worry or anything. I may seem old fashioned at times, but I’m not a bigot.”

Bruce couldn’t help but feel that Steve was a little too insistent about that last bit. “That isn’t really what I came to tell you. There’s more.”

Steve sighed. “Is it someone else… on the Team?”

“Oh… you mean… you think I’ve developed feelings for… no. No. I’m making a mess of this.” Bruce paused and tried to refocus. “I’m trying to explain what we learned about the Hulk.”

“I’m listening.” Steve said kindly.

“The reason the Other Guy left. It was because he didn’t feel the same way. About Natasha I mean. He’s… well, he’s _not_ demisexual.” Bruce tried again. “The Hulk is gay.”

Steve dropped the boxes he was holding on the floor. Some rice and veggies escaped and made a mess.

“Oh.” Steve said, obviously shaken. This wasn’t a very promising reaction.

“I didn’t even think… I didn’t know he could even feel anything like that, until just a few days ago.” Bruce added.

“Wow. Okay.” Steve was still struggling with words. He was just looking at the mess on the floor.

Bruce got up and went hunting for some paper towels. “He’s really more like a whole person. With likes and dislikes. Not just… a mindless rage monster.”

“Thanks.” Steve took some paper towels and the two of them cleared the floor. “I guess, I never really thought about him as separate from you. Not like that, at least.”

“I was surprised too – if that helps.”

“So… what now?” Steve asked. The last of the mess was tossed in the trash.

Bruce rolled his eyes. “I really have no idea. But I’ve got something else I need to ask you. Something that might sound crazy. Or invasive. Or both.”

“Uh…” Steve’s face looked pale.

“Not _that_!” Bruce felt his face grow hot in embarrassment, quickly retreating to the safety of the barstool.

“Er… what do you mean?” Although they both knew.

“It’s about the serum.” Bruce clarified. “You know my accident occurred because I was on the team of scientists tasked with creating more Super Soldiers, right?”

“Yes.”

“I was different. Before. As a person, I mean.” Bruce struggled to find the right words again. “I was straight. Or at least no more than a 1 or 2 on the Kinsey scale. And I didn’t have any… _reservations_ about developing physical relationships – if you understand.”

Steve just nodded.

“The serum heightens an individual’s physical health and abilities, not unlike artificial steroids, but in a permanent way – and in your case – without any unpleasant side-effects. Drastic changes of the body are not out of the ordinary – seeing that they are brought about naturally during adolescence through the production of hormones. But something is missing from the records that survive about the original experiment.” Bruce elaborated.

“I’m aware.” Steve gave him a skeptical look.

“No, I mean. Tell me if I’m wrong, but… my impression of how things worked back then was that everyone just assumed heterosexuality to be standard. They wouldn’t even think to ask. And while my own changes might be the result of… trust issues I’ve developed since my accident, one could argue that… something else could be the cause.” Bruce hinted.

Steve seemed to understand immediately. “Oh.”

“ _Yeah_. I mean… you don’t have to tell me anything. It really isn’t any of my business. I just wanted to know more about what’s going on… with... with the Hulk. Since he isn’t so far removed from… _you_.” Bruce winced. This conversation was such a train wreck.

Neither of them spoke for a few seconds. _Awkward_.

“I had a session with Dr. Fields too.” Steve finally broke the silence.

“Oh?” Bruce prompted.

“What you are proposing… it isn’t actually _so far_ out there.” Steve replied.

“Yeah?” This was unexpected. “Do you… I mean… want to talk about it?”

“Some other time, maybe. I’m… still trying to figure things out myself. But, you’ve given me lots to think about. I hadn’t considered... the serum.” Steve answered quietly.

Bruce was equally relieved that they could pick up this awkward conversation later and frustrated that he didn’t have a concrete answer to work with. “I understand.”

“If you’re right… does this mean… what I’m feeling… isn’t _real_?” Steve asked, rubbing his hands over his face – carefully leaving the exact nature of his feelings ambiguous.

Bruce felt sick to his stomach that he might have introduced such a thought. “No! No. This isn’t something that works like that. The human body can be reduced by science, its basic functions explained by chemical interactions – altered by medicine. But preference is inexplicable. Shrinks try to explain it as a product of environment, but that discounts the biologic component. It is somewhere in between. And most definitely _real_.”

Steve just nodded again, but he didn’t seem convinced.

“Can I help you drop these off?” Bruce gestured to the piles of food that must be on their way to Bucky’s.

“Nah. I’ll take them. Thanks though.” Steve cleared his throat.

“Okay.” Bruce got up from the stool. “I guess I’ll see you later then.”

“See you.” Steve answered.

Somehow Bruce left feeling like he might have done more harm than good.

***---***---***

When Pepper returned from lunch to Tony at her desk yet again, she secretly hoped for another super villain threat. Not that peace wasn’t great and all. “What is it?”

“Hey, Peps! Long time no see.” Tony’s innocent smile wasn’t fooling anyone.

Tony was still wearing the armor, save the helmet, so it wasn’t a mystery how he had got there. And he was eating a cheeseburger. Sesame seeds were falling all over the notes she was preparing for the Board Meeting that afternoon. “What do you want?” She repeated.

“I brought an extra burger and a salad in case you wanted to join me.” Tony offered, crinkling a paper bag next to him.

“I already ate.” Pepper answered.

“Cool – ‘cause I was lying about the salad.” Tony didn’t look at all sorry.

Pepper sighed. “Tony. What is it?”

“Just wanted to congratulate you on Dr. Fields. As usual… you’re the best.”

Pepper wasn’t sure if Tony was being sincere or if he was trying to butter her up for more help. “Okay. You’re welcome. Can I have my desk back now?”

Tony got up slowly, devouring the last few bites of his burger. “So something happened… and I just can’t keep my mouth shut about it anymore. I need to tell someone!”

“Then I have a feeling that whatever it is, you probably shouldn’t be telling _me_.” Pepper surmised. She took back her desk and rescued the notes, carefully scooping the seeds into a bin all while directing Tony a remarkably severe glare. He didn’t seem to notice.

“You keep forgetting we aren’t together, Tony.”

Tony scowled. “I know that.” He sighed. “But you still give me great advice. Which, you know, despite my superior intelligence... I do _need_ every now and then.”

Pepper’s resolve seemed to be cracking.

Tony dug out the second burger and unwrapped it. “How about we keep things theoretical? That way you have grounds for plausible deniability.”

“Fine.” Pepper relented.

“So… if one of the Avengers came out of the closet and caught me totally by surprise – which is quite the feat – and it was someone I’m on relatively good terms with, in case you’re wondering – what would you do? Their situation makes dating… _complicated_. It’s doubtful that an average human would qualify. How would you be supportive? As a friend. ‘Cause I think that’s what we are. Friends.” Tony rambled.

Pepper pursed her lips. “Are you asking me if you can bang Captain America?”

“What?!” Tony choked on his next bite of burger. “Why…? How? I mean, sure he’s a good looking guy… but… No. No, this time it has nothing to do with fuckin' Steve Rogers.”

“Okay. First, I’m glad we are keeping things theoretical. Second, if a colleague of mine wanted me to know, I would affirm to them that our relationship remains unchanged – because it really doesn’t matter to me. And I most certainly wouldn’t try to pair them up with someone, since that is the direction I feel you are leaning.” Pepper replied.

“Spoilsport.” Tony grumbled, dumping the half-eaten burger back into the bag.

“Keep your nose out of it, Tony.” Pepper warned. “But you should feel proud that they trusted you enough to share something so personal. Let them continue at their own pace.

Tony just scowled.

“Unless… you actually have feelings for them. I know you go both ways. It wouldn’t be the first time.” Pepper continued.

“I hadn’t seriously thought about it.” Tony answered honestly.

“Then leave them well-enough alone. Express your willingness to be there as a friend in case they want to talk about it. Is that all?” Pepper was now focused on her computer screen, typing.

“You’re no fun – you know that, right?” Tony tossed his bag into the bin and headed for the roof.

He had no plans to take her up on her advice... this time.


	4. Chapter 4

Waking from a nightmare he could only remember in shattered pieces was common for Bucky. Sleeping was a rare luxury anyway, since he was often too nervous to relax fully in the open spaces of the rooms that had been prepared for him at the Tower. Windows from floor to ceiling. Open concept living area. It made him feel exposed and vulnerable.

Steve had earlier dropped off several bags worth of take-out boxes he kept forgetting – and having nothing else to do at such an ungodly hour, he helped himself to the remains of what had once been a massive enchilada. Bucky didn’t have anything of his own to make the rooms more comfortable. It was like living in a hotel. He secretly hated it.

But he wouldn’t complain. Things could be so much worse. He had lived through much worse. And at least here in the Tower there was Steve. Bucky didn’t think anyone realized quite how alone he was in the world now that his ties to HYDRA had finally be severed. Without Steve, Bucky had nothing.

He turned on the TV to something boring, in hopes that it would lull him back to sleep. He knew, rationally, that he was safe here – but somehow a part of him refused to believe it. After nearly an hour of staring at a documentary about fish, Bucky gave up and turned the blasted thing off. There were many more channels he could try – Stark’s AI could probably even pick out the one that would bore him the most. But he was tired of feeling the need to look over his shoulder at the empty kitchen every few minutes.

There was a small closet off the main room, probably meant to house coats or something, but which had never been used. Bucky stole a pillow off the couch and headed for it. There wasn’t much room left over once he pulled the door closed. He could touch all four walls at once – but it was dark and he was alone. He propped himself up against the far wall, curled his legs to one side, and closed his eyes.

“Buck? What _are_ you doing in there?” Steve’s voice woke him.

This was embarrassing. Sunlight was streaming in from the open closet door – he had obviously gone back to sleep, for much longer than he had thought possible. And his best friend was looking at him – door ajar, obviously caught. FRIDAY had probably ratted him out.

“Er… sleeping.” Bucky got up hurriedly.

Steve just raised his eyebrows.

Bucky wasn’t going to explain. If he did that, Steve would complain to Tony about his living arrangements – and that would be a disaster. He shuffled out of the closet and asked, “What time is it anyway?”

“Almost Eleven. You missed our run. Sam invited Scott. It was… slow going.” Steve said politely.

“Sorry about that.” Now Bucky felt guilty.

“Seriously, you’re not going to explain what _that_ was about?” Steve gestured at the closet.

“Nope.” Bucky sighed. “I just need to brush my teeth, but I’m good to go now – if you want.”

Steve looked like he wanted to press the issue, but in the end he decided not to. “Nah, I’ve got a meeting with Fury. But I’ll take a rain check.”

“Okay.”

“Buck… is everything alright?” Steve asked instead.

Of course not. But Bucky wasn’t dumb enough to admit it. “Yep.”

“You sure?” Steve pressed.

“Go on. Get out of here, Squirt. We can go for a real run when you get back.” Bucky teased.

“Squirt? You realize I’m taller than you now, right?” Steve’s smile was back.

Bucky shook his head. “Nah, never.”

Steve smiled warmly. “I’ll see you when I get back, then.” He gave a mock salute and headed for the door.

***---***---***

Tony was scheming something. Bruce could tell in the way he moved around the lab. He wasn’t as noisy as he tended to be when he was absorbed in his work – talking to himself, humming, drumming on counters, or despairing at DUMM-E’s incompetence. And when Tony was quiet, it was time to worry.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Bruce initiated.

Tony swiveled slowly around on his stool, abandoning the holo-screen he had been staring at but hadn’t touched. “I would hope my thoughts are worth more than that.”

Bruce smiled. “Of course.”

“But now that you mention it – I can’t help but think about poor Jolly Green. He wouldn’t be keen on making an appearance today, would he?” Tony was definitely up to something.

“I doubt it. Why do you ask?”

“I happen to know there is a show of _Thunder Down Under_ tonight in Vegas. I’ve never been, since Rhodes wouldn’t appreciate it and Pepper… well, she would be all Pepper about it. You might not be… _comfortable_ , with having him out in public like that – not to mention his green muscles might distract from the golden bronze ones set to be on display. But… I could set something up.” Tony offered.

Bruce groaned. “You’re kidding me, right?”

“Nope. I could send an autonomous suit to pose as Iron Man and link the video feed to a flat screen in the Playground. We can even have popcorn.” Tony offered.

“That is the dumbest idea I think you have ever had.” Bruce said acidly.

“Oh, come on! Not even in the Top Ten.” Tony laughed. “Or, Bottom Ten. Whatever.”

Bruce sighed, willing himself calm. “Tony. I would like to think that this crazy idea stems from a genuine desire to help – but seriously, seeing a bunch of body builders’ strip-tease on stage is far from helpful.”

“Why not? Besides I’m not even inviting _you_.” Tony pouted.

“Don’t give him hope where there is none.” Bruce sounded angry, but no trace of green presented itself.

“Are _you_ being serious right now?” Tony sounded hurt. “You’re going to try and stuff this genie back in the bottle and pretend like it never happened?”

“Of course not! This isn’t something I had ever – not in my wildest dreams – thought could happen. I’m still reeling from the idea that he might even understand what it is he seems to want. I had assumed his mind was simple – like that of a child. Turns out it might be more like a… a hormonal adolescent. And you don’t take teenagers to porn shows!” Bruce bit back.

“Why not?” Tony argued. “God forbid he enjoy himself!”

“In any normal circumstance it would be illegal for one. This isn’t about _you_ , Tony. And it certainly isn’t about _God_ , for that matter.” Bruce tried to explain. “It’s about what is best for the Hulk. We can be affirming without encouraging unrealistic expectations.”

“And those expectations are… what exactly? While his situation is unique, it isn’t hopeless.” Tony urged.

“The Hulk kills people… on purpose and on accident. Statistically, more of his victims are the later. He topples buildings instead of going around them. He stomps on vehicles – oblivious to their passengers. He wants to _share_ , Tony. Do you realize what that would mean for me? To get close to someone again – and every time the Other Guy comes out I would risk losing them. And not like before. Natasha… she knew how to get out the way. She could… find me afterward. I can’t do it, Tony. Not possible.” Ranted Bruce.

“You’re a scientist, aren’t you? Not _probable_ , perhaps, not with your average human – but not _impossible_. Don’t just give up!” Tony fired back. “Heck, there is a whole colony of Asgardians on Earth now who would welcome a friendly scuffle with El Verde.”

Bruce looked wary. “Okay – and as a scientist I call ‘missing evidence’ to your hypothesis. Human sexuality is complex enough, are you claiming to know how it works for a different sentient species? Because that’s what they are, Tony. Not to mention how your proposal might appear to them socially – if it is even possible.”

“Lucky for me, I have an Asgardian Prince on speed dial.” Tony whipped out his phone.

“Don’t you dare! Tony. Listen to me. Tony!” Bruce protested.

“Hey, Thor. Are you available for a chat? Bruce and I want to go over something with you.” Tony began – waiting for a reply that Bruce couldn’t hear. “Oh, you’re not even back in South America yet? That’s great. It won’t take long. How’s Dr. Foster?” Tony’s evil smile towards Bruce was disgustingly smug. “Collecting data? Sounds frightfully dull, but I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you brought her some lunch. The hotdog place you like isn’t that far away.” Bruce could tell he had lost. “Yes, the one with the sign of the dancing dog that you find so amusing. We’ll meet you there.” Tony hung up.

“I hate you.” Bruce said miserably.

***---***---***

Bruce didn’t talk to Tony on the car ride over. He kept telling himself that he was just scientifically curious – none of this was actually going to pan out the way Tony seemed to think it would. Thor was already inside talking with the owner, who looked ecstatic about serving the God of Thunder.

“Thor! Good to see you.” Tony called out cheerfully. Much too cheerful for Bruce.

“My friends!” Thor gave Tony and Bruce a mighty hug, which was kind of endearing really - and a bit painful.

The owner’s smile grew even larger, if that were possible. “Wow – this is an honor. Please, order whatever you would like. It’s on the house.”

Tony produced a few hundred dollar bills and put them on the counter. “Nonsense. But we did come for a private chat with our good friend here. Perhaps you could close the doors for just a few minutes?” He suggested with a wink, rather smoothly.

“Of course, sir.” The owner dutifully locked the front door and flipped the sign to CLOSED before returning to the counter.

“Thor will have one of everything. I just want a classic frank with mustard. Bruce?” Tony continued.

“Er… same. I mean, what you’re having.” Bruce answered.

“Coming right up.” The owner got down to filling their order, assembling what was bound to be quite the collection of hotdogs.

Tony lead the group to a booth and they all sat down.

“What did you wish to discuss, friend Tony?” Thor boomed. Bruce winced.

“Oh, we were just curious about what you thought of our most recent training meeting. You remember, the one with Dr. Fields. Bruce here thought that things might work differently for Asgardians.” Tony whispered – which seemed like a hint for Thor to use his indoor voice.

“I admit the Field Doctor used a lot of words that were unfamiliar to me. But I gathered that what he had to say was to do with the different loves. Although I am still unsure why training on this was needed.” Thor said sincerely.

“Yes, I suppose you might need a little more context. Hadn’t thought of that.” Tony admitted. “These ‘different loves’ that you speak of – could you tell us about them?”

“Love for a Comrade in Arms. Love for a Spouse. Love for a Friend. Love for Pleasure. Love for One’s Self. Love for One’s Children. In the old tongue each had its own name. Asgardians feel all of these and all are considered worthy of respect.” Answered Thor.

“Dr. Fields used words that we ascribe to individuals with specific romantic and sexual preferences. For example, a man who is only attracted to women would be considered straight. Whereas a man who is only attracted to other men would be considered gay. Do Asgardians have such distinctions?” Tony tried to clarify.

“No. We see only different loves. At times the loves mix. A Shield Brother might pine for the love of a Warrior Maiden while also loving a close friend on the battlefield. Sometimes bonds between friends are stronger than bonds to a spouse. I’ve had Shield Brothers that only had love for each other – but we don’t label them any different.” Thor explained.

“Your people are very wise.” Bruce offered.

“But you admit that there are those among Asgardians who are attracted to others of their own sex – and that it isn’t ridiculed or considered taboo?” Tony insisted.

“No Asgardian would consider love ridiculous, no matter the form.” Thor said proudly.

Tony flashed another smug smile at Bruce. “I concur – your people are wise. Sadly mankind has a ways to catch-up – thus why the training was deemed necessary. Some people believe that love between men is disgusting or sinful. There is a kind of social stigma that still prevents a lot of people from being open about who they desire.” Tony continued.

“Ah, now I see. That is unfortunate for your people. Your Field Doctor is a teacher then? He explains that all love is worthy of respect?” Thor nodded in understanding.

“Your order is ready, gentleman.” The owner procured two trays overflowing with colorful sausages covered in a myriad of toppings.

“You have brought us a feast!” Thor looked delighted. “Thank you, Man of the Dancing Dog.”

The owner blushed, bowed, and retreated back to his station.

“I’m curious, did you understand what Dr. Fields meant by being transgender?” Bruce asked after finding one of the two plain hotdogs with mustard.

“It is a new word to me, but I believe I understood his meaning. There are tales of Asgardians in the past who denounced their sex – it is one reason why expectations for men and women are no longer enforced. There is nothing to be gained in forcing a mold upon a finished sword.” Thor said between bites – or rather between dogs.

At this Tony whistled. “Damn right.”

“I admit I’m rather envious of Asgardian culture – at least in this.” Admitted Bruce.

“Now… onto our real reason for seeking you out. Bruce here has something he would like to share.” Tony stuffed the last of his own hotdog into his mouth – but he was still sporting an evil grin, even with his cheeks bulging. It would have been funny if Bruce didn’t feel sort of sick at being put on the spot.

“What is it, Dr. Banner?” Thor asked innocently.

Bruce didn’t reply immediately. He could deny it – Tony might have given him an unwelcome shove, but he wouldn’t tell on him if Bruce wasn’t ready. Tony wasn’t cruel. And Thor wouldn’t mind – of that he was certain. Bruce would have to tell more of his teammates sooner or later, he supposed. Steve already knew. Natasha knew.

“Fine. But I still hate you, Tony.” Bruce finally replied. “Thor, just after our meeting with Dr. Fields I made a discovery about the Hulk. We have had trouble communicating, as I’m sure you remember. With the help of Tony and Dr. Strange I may have figured out why he’s been reluctant to come out. The Hulk… is gay. Er… I mean, he desires other men. He was… _upset_ with me for pursuing a relationship with a woman. This makes things… complicated for us. In more ways than one.” Bruce finished lamely.

“You did not know this before?” Thor looked confused.

“Er… no.” Bruce insisted.

“Oh. Then you did not notice… the courtiers on Sakaar? Hulk’s rapport with the Valkyrie – it was Love for the Comrade in Arms. Her heart firmly belongs to one of her fallen sisters.” Thor tried to explain.

“You mean you already _knew_?” Bruce asked, stunned. “And what _courtiers_?”

“I had my suspicions. But it was not my business.” Thor put his hands up in defense.

“This is ridiculous!” Bruce put his head in his hands.

“Sounds like the Hulk might not be quite the blushing virgin after all, Brucy.” Tony laughed. “So Thor… if someone was looking to find a partner in an Asgardian – how would they go about it?”

“That of course depends on one’s intent. I can see that Dr. Banner is upset. Perhaps it best not to press further until he is better?” Thor took pity on poor Bruce, who did look rather ill.

Tony looked thoughtful. “I suppose you’re right. Just trying to help, you know.”

“I’ve never understood those who try and rush such matters. It took many, many years before I found Lady Jane – and in a place I did not think to search. But I believe you to be of honest intent, friend Tony.” Said Thor kindly. “But why come to me? Has Dr. Banner no desire to find a match amongst his own kin?”

“Humans are _fragile_.” Tony answered as an explanation.

“Not all of you. Friend Steve and his companion are nearly as tough as my own race. Surely there are others. But _oh_ … yes… I suppose I see the reason for your query considering the strength of Dr. Banner’s counterpart.” Thor blushed, after giving it a little more thought.

“Can we leave now?” Bruce whined.

“I will take the last two of these marvelous creations to Jane. We will be departing for the research station later this afternoon – on an aircraft, I understand. But you may call upon me anytime my friends.” Thor wrapped the remaining two hotdogs up in their foil liners and stood.

“Thanks again for the food!” Tony called to the owner, as he helped Bruce to his feet and they all exited out onto the busy street.

***---***---***

Sadly, the peace that Thanos’ defeat had created could only last so long. The meeting Steve had with Fury prompted immediate action. Steve, Natasha, and Sam were deployed on a mission which meant that Bucky was left alone. Scott was using the absence of the rest of their little band as an excuse to visit his daughter and spend time with Hope. Bucky wasn’t upset, but he did feel a little left out.

While his presence was not explicitly forbidden in the labs, Bucky did not feel like he would be welcomed. But as two days of loneliness stretched into three and finally four, he gave up.

“FRIDAY?” Bucky called out, laying on the floor of his bedroom between the wall and the bed where he couldn’t be seen from the windows.

“How can I help you, Sergeant Barnes?” The AI’s voice replied immediately.

“Er… where is everyone? The other Avengers, I mean.” Bucky asked.

“Dr. Banner is in Lab #3. No one else is currently in the Tower besides members of staff. Would you like to make a call?” FRIDAY prompted.

“No, that’s alright. But… maybe you could ask Dr. Banner if he wouldn’t mind some company?” Bucky said carefully. He didn’t really know the man, but it was better than nothing. And the fact that Tony wasn’t there with him was rather fortuitous.

“Certainly.” The AI complied. A few seconds later an answer came. “Dr. Banner said he would welcome your company, sir.”

“Thanks.” Bucky got up off the floor. Only after getting inside the elevator did he think about how he must look. He was wearing sweats and a t-shirt from the day before and he hadn’t bothered to look in a mirror – who knew what his hair looked like. He combed his fingers through it just to be safe.

The lab wasn’t anything like Bucky imagined. It was all flat, polished surfaces and screens – with almost no equipment in sight. Bruce sat on a stool staring at one of the holo-screens intently.

“Er… hello.” Bucky said weakly.

Bruce spun the stool around, but he greeted Bucky with a small smile. “Hello. FRIDAY tells me it’s just the two of us in the Tower today. Seems silly for us to stay in separate camps. Pull up a stool.”

“Thanks.” Bucky carefully took one of the stools on the other side of the table from Bruce. “So… what are you working on?”

“I’m waiting for some test results, actually. Just going over my formulas. So nothing very exciting at the moment, I’m afraid.” Dr. Banner replied, turning back to the screen. But instead of continuing his review, he turned the screen off. “I think it would also be prudent to confess that FRIDAY also mentioned that it seemed like you might be lonely.”

Bucky frowned, but he didn’t deny it. “Computers can sense that now?”

“Not all of them. But Tony’s AIs do have a tendency to pick up on several behavioral cues – which is a good thing really. Tony sometimes needs to be reminded to eat, sleep, and shower when he finds a new challenge to obsess over. I’ve heard FRIDAY threaten to cut power to the lab before – she’s very effective.” Bruce laughed.

“Steve’s been gone a long time.” Bucky stated as his excuse.

“Are you worried about him?” Bruce asked.

“No, not really. He can take care of himself now.” Bucky answered, perhaps a tad too wistfully.

Bruce nodded. “You and I haven’t had much of a chance to get to know one another – but Steve always spoke highly of your friendship. He shared more than one story with us about how you pulled him out of trouble, both before and during the war.”

“But he has more than just me now.” Bucky added.

“Yes, he does.” Bruce confirmed. Their conversation was stalling.

After a few seconds of awkward silence Bucky asked, “So where’s Tony?”

“He said he was testing some modifications to the suit. But I suspect that is code for pestering Pepper at Stark Industries headquarters.” Bruce said with a smile.

“I see. He seems like a handful.” Bucky supplied.

“Probably not so unlike Steve before the serum.” Bruce continued. “Getting in over his head all the time.”

At this Bucky smiled. “Yeah – I suppose so.”

More silence. Small talk wasn’t going to get them very far.

“Steve and Tony seem to… butt heads a lot. It was easy for me to always take Steve’s side of things at first – but perhaps they do it because they are more alike than they want to admit.” Bucky finally said.

“They definitely want to help bring about the same good. Squabbling over how to get there isn’t always productive.” Bruce answered diplomatically.

“No… it isn’t.” Bucky admitted.

More silence. Bruce was fighting the urge to turn his holo-screen back on.

“I didn’t want what happened, you know.” Bucky finally broke the silence.

“What do you mean?” Bruce asked, although he already knew.

“I’m sorry for my part in… breaking things up.” Bucky confessed in a quiet voice.

Bruce wasn’t sure how to respond to that at first. “I wasn’t here at the time… but I can tell that things are different now. Forced. Tony doesn’t like to talk about it.”

“Neither does Steve.”

“A fat lot of good that will do us. But they will come around. Things might never be as they once were, but that doesn’t have to be all bad. For what it’s worth – I’m glad Steve saved you. I know what it is like for people to only see you for how you can be used. Like a tool.” Bruce confessed.

“Thanks.” Bucky replied, and meant it.

This time the silence wasn’t so awkward.


	5. Chapter 5

The next day, Bruce and Dr. Strange were in the Playground preparing for the next session of talking things out with the Hulk. Tony was late.

“FRIDAY, Tony does know we are waiting for him, right?” Bruce asked the AI.

“Affirmative. He says he had an idea to help with today’s session. He is currently in the suit, approximately three minutes away.”

“Thanks, I guess. Tell him to hurry back.” Bruce replied, a bit annoyed. Tony hadn’t divulged this idea to him – which made him a little nervous.

Dr. Strange did not look happy about the delay, but he didn’t say anything.

“So, we timed our last session at about five minutes – according to the video feed. Any chance your spell could be extended, or does that stand as a baseline? It seemed… _difficult_ to hold for long periods.” Bruce asked warily.

“Not knowing how the spell would take, I included several precautionary measures last time which we will forgo today and in the future. This should help the spell last a little longer.” Replied Dr. Strange.

Bruce sighed, both a bit relieved and concerned. “Just make sure you aren’t _too_ relaxed. He’s still dangerous.”

“I am aware.”

“Thanks for doing this, by the way.” Bruce added, sincerely.

“Of course. While I am a firm proponent of mind over muscle, I find your situation _fascinating_. To have both – but inaccessible simultaneously, poses a unique challenge. You are aware of course, Dr. Banner, that while the Hulk might appear to be a separate individual – this is in fact not entirely the case. There is a… _barrier_ that separates you from each other – one that is porous rather than solid. Otherwise my temporarily weakening it with a spell would not produce a productive result.” Explained the Wizard.

“The switch is triggered by pain and strong emotion – specifically anger. But the creation of the Hulk was a result of experiments to replicate the Super Soldier serum. I guess he could be considered a much larger, less capable version of Captain America – with myself as the base. So yes, I do realize we are connected or part of each other. I just didn’t want to acknowledge exactly how… _developed_ the Hulk was as a person, rather than a monster.” Bruce countered.

“Understandable.” Dr. Strange said kindly.

“I just hope that whatever Tony has cooked up isn’t going to mess things up. I didn’t even try to make a list of questions this time – seeing as he completely ignored that last ones.” Bruce sounded only a little annoyed.

Dr. Strange laughed. “While… _unconventional_ , he did get us some startling results.”

“I suppose you can call it that.” Bruce couldn’t help but smile – but his cheeks still grew hot with embarrassment.

“Mr. Stark has returned to the Tower and is on his way.” FRIDAY announced.

“Finally.” Exhaled Bruce. The elevator doors opened seconds later.

“I’m here! Don’t start without me!” Tony called, rushing into the main living area of the Playground with his arms full.

“Er… what on earth is that for?” Bruce asked suspiciously. Tony carefully set down a very large, leafy plant in a pot that looked like it weighed a ton. Tony was still wearing the suit – sans helmet, however, so he wasn’t struggling to carry it at all.

“Oh – just something _green_. A housewarming gift for the Big Guy.” Tony said evasively.

“I’m not buying it.” Bruce deadpanned.

“Thought you wouldn’t. I’ll explain later. Dr. Strange – you may commence with your sorcery.” Tony gave an over-exaggerated bow to the wizard.

“Whenever you’re ready, Dr. Banner.” Dr. Strange deferred to Bruce.

The Hulk had not re-emerged on his own since their last session. Bruce had no idea how the Other Guy was going to react to being pulled out again. Was the Hulk sulking? Resting? Biding his time for a surprise attack? Bruce had no idea.

“Okay. Let’s go.” Bruce finally answered.

Just like before, nothing seemed to happen at first. Seconds ticked by before his vision began to cloud and his body grew heavy. A stirring in his mind told him that he wasn’t alone, the Hulk was definitely awake. This time, however, Bruce had to mentally hand the reins for physical control off to his counterpart. He had never done this outside of battle, he realized afterwards.

“Still hate Wizard.” Hulk said, but without much venom.

“Welcome back! Hey, I thought we talked about coming out to play last time. Don’t you like your new place?” Tony said in mock hurt.

In answer, the Hulk looked around. “Banner not come here alone.”

“Oh, well that’s not right. Bruce didn’t even try to let you come out and test the place out? Shame on him.” Tony scolded Bruce, who felt a little guilty at this. Tony had designed it just for that, after all.

“Stupid Banner.” Hulk laughed, obviously feeling Bruce’s discomfort.

“Tell you what, Big Guy. How about after our session today you keep hold of the wheel – Dr. Strange and I will leave you to it. Sound good?” Tony offered. Bruce did not agree – he had experiments to tend to in the labs after this.

“Banner not share.” Hulk reminded them all – making Bruce feel even guiltier.

“No, he hasn’t been very good at sharing, has he. But he will get better – he just needs some practice. A few hours with your rooms to yourself and then you give control back to Bruce, okay?” Tony asked.

“Hulk like Metal Man.” Bruce found his own arm – which was rather green at the moment – give Tony a playful shove. Thank heavens Tony was still in the suit.

“I like you too, Buddy.” Tony’s smile was genuine. “But we need to ask some questions again – just like last time.”

“Metal Man ask.” The Hulk seemed eager to get this over with.

“We just want to confirm some things you said before.”

Hulk nodded.

“Bruce wanted to start a deeper relationship with Natasha, but that would have made you unhappy – right?” Tony asked. This was probably a good way to start.

“Hulk hate Red Hair.”

Tony nodded. “Yeah, I get it. But you don’t want to be lonely either. You want to share a relationship with Bruce. That way you are both happy.”

“Hulk and Banner happy.” The Hulk confirmed again, sounding bored.

“What about Betty? Didn’t you both like Betty Ross?” Tony asked. Bruce felt a little angry at Tony for bringing her up – but was equally curious to hear more.

“Feelings for Betty not the same. Betty kind. Like mother.” Hulk answered.

“Yes, that is different. Hulk wants a relationship with someone strong. Someone like Hulk.” Tony continued. Bruce hoped they would move on to other topics soon – relationships weren’t all of Bruce and Hulk’s problems.

“Yes. Strong like Hulk.”

“Hulk likes men. Strong men?” Tony asked, with only a hint of a smile.

“Hulk likes men.” Hulk repeated.

“Any man in particular?” Tony asked – which was way out of line. Dr. Strange coughed and spluttered. “Oh, you don’t have to tell me any names – just wondering if you had your eye on someone.”

Bruce, panicking, wanted control back and fought the Hulk for a few seconds, long enough that any reply the Hulk might have given was lost. Their internal struggle must have been obvious because Tony quickly shifted gears.

“Never mind – I think I upset Bruce with that one. Sorry, pal.” Tony began, although he didn’t sound very sorry. “How about this instead. I brought you a gift!” Tony pointed to the plant.

The Hulk wrestled control back from Bruce to reply. “Why Metal Man gift Hulk with plant?”

“Well, Bruce seems worried that you can’t be gentle. Hulk is super strong! Stronger than anyone else. Most humans aren’t very strong. They can break easily. But you know that, right Hulk?” Continued Tony.

“Puny humans.” Hulk answered, sounding bored again.

“But I bet that if you wanted to, you could be careful with us small, breakable humans. So this plant is a test. A test to prove that you can be careful to Dr. Banner. Can you do that?”

“Hulk can be careful.” Hulk said, sounding a bit offended.

“I know you can, Buddy. You might need to water the plant once in a while, if the leaves start to droop. You can carry it around from the pot, but you can’t pull on the leaves or the stem or they will break. And no smashing! If the plant gets hurt, it can’t be fixed – it will die. Do you understand?” Tony instructed.

Hulk nodded.

“Just a few moments longer, gentleman.” Dr. Strange called out.

“Okay! That’s enough questions from me. Does Hulk have any questions? Maybe some for Bruce?” Tony asked – a move that Bruce actually approved of. The stupid idea with the plant he would argue with Tony about later.

Hulk seemed stunned by this. Perhaps he had never been given this option before. Bruce felt sorry for him.

“Hulk misses Other World. Can Hulk visit?” Which was a descent question, if not also difficult to explain why such a venture would be impossible.

“No, I’m sorry, Buddy. It’s so far away – without the Bifrost, we can’t send you there and bring you back safely. We aren’t even sure how you managed to get there in my dinky little spacecraft in the first place.” Tony answered solemnly.

“Then can Hulk fight here? Hulk likes to smash. Hulk liked the cheers.” Hulk asked instead.

Bruce felt guilty again. Hulk was an icon on Sakaar – of course he would prefer that to being labeled a dangerous monster back here on Earth. The games on Sakaar were barbaric – but they wouldn’t have to stoop to such a level to offer the Hulk an outlet at the very least.

Similar thoughts must have been going through Tony’s mind. “I bet you do, Bug Guy. Yeah, I think we could work something out. At the very least, I’m sure Thor wouldn’t mind sparring with you now and then. We just need to work out a place where it is safe for the both of you to let loose.”

“So Hulk not hurt puny humans.” Hulk affirmed.

“That’s right.” Tony smiled.

“Hulk is hungry. Is there food in Hulk’s new house?” The Hulk looked around again, now seeming to show excitement at looking around in earnest once they were finished.

“Uh… good question. Is there anything in particular you want to eat? Better yet, do you know how to ask FRIDAY for help?” Tony amended.

“Hulk not know FRIDAY.”

“FRIDAY… well, she lives in the Tower too. She just doesn’t have a body. Here, let me introduce you. FRIDAY, meet the Hulk.” Tony said proudly.

“It is good to meet you, Hulk. You may be pleased to hear that there is a selection of fresh fruits, bread, cheese, and cured meats in the pantry and fridge.” FRIDAY replied, almost warmly – for a robot.

“FRIDAY speaks from the air?” Hulk asked, looking around for the source of the voice.

“Yup. She’s a friend. If you need anything when no one else is here – you can ask her for help.” Continued Tony.

“Can Hulk eat now?” Hulk asked.

“Sure, Buddy. Cut him loose, Dr. Strange.” Tony ordered.

This time it was Bruce who sank into unconsciousness. His last thoughts were a jumble of anxiety and frustration. He was definitely going to have words with Tony later.

***---***---***

Steve returned triumphant from their most recent mission – which turned out to be pretty boring in the retelling, to Bucky at least. But he didn’t let Steve know that. He was just happy to have his friend back in one piece.

“Can we go out tonight? This time I really don’t have anything in my fridge. I ate it all while you were away.” Bucky asked after finishing the run he had promised. They were sweaty and still breathing a bit heavy as the elevator brought them to their respective floors.

“Sure. We can even celebrate a little – if you want. For a job well done.” Steve replied.

“Okaaayy.” Bucky drawled. “Lucky me – getting all the spoils without having to lift a finger.”

“Don’t be like that. Fury just needed a small team – that’s all. You know I would have brought you along if I could.” Replied Steve carefully.

“Relax. No harm done.” Bucky brushed it off, teasing.

Steve smiled. “I know you used to like to go out dancing. But I don’t think you would enjoy what New York has to offer on that front any more. It isn’t pretty. But we could go to a movie.”

“That sounds fun.” Answered Bucky sincerely.

“Great. FRIDAY can help you pick one out. I’ll meet up with you at your place once I’m all cleaned up.” Steve said as he departed, giving what was soon to become his trademark mock salute.

“Thanks, Steve.” Bucky called as the doors closed.

Bucky had seen glimpses of what people called dancing these days and was happy to stay away. But movie theatres hadn’t changed that much – save for the vibrant colors and special effects.

Upon entering his own rooms, Bucky took a quick shower, changed his clothes, and settled down on his couch for Steve to arrive.

“FRIDAY, what shows are playing at the movie theatres?” He asked. The AI began rattling off a series of titles that Bucky didn’t recognize. “Er… can you recommend one that will make Steve laugh? Nothing too serious. Nothing sad.”

“There are currently three films showing in the immediate area that would qualify – would you like the synopsis for each or do you wish to further narrow the parameters of your search?” FRIDAY replied.

“Um… nothing too crass?” Bucky added. Another change to the modern world he wasn’t so keen on – humor didn’t rely so heavily on dirty jokes and bad language back in the day.

“ _Shipping_ is a romantic comedy and a modern re-telling of the Shakespeare play _A Midsummer Night’s Dream_. Does this title fulfill your query?” FRIDAY asked.

“Sounds perfect. He’s a sap – he’ll love it.” Bucky nodded. He would have chosen to see an action movie, but they were celebrating Steve’s victory tonight after all.

Besides it didn’t really matter what they went to see. Bucky just wanted to get out of the Tower. He hadn’t left since Steve’s mission and he was anxious to escape his large, empty rooms.

Steve had stuff of his own now that made his floor seem more like a home. Bucky couldn’t bring himself to go out and use the credit card Tony had given him to use to buy anything other than food – and occasionally clothes. He didn’t want stuff, just like he didn’t want sex. He just didn’t _want_.

The only thing Bucky really wanted was to keep Steve around as an anchor. He was slowly warming up to Sam and Scott, but it wasn’t the same. His friendship with Steve was all he had left of his old life. All that was left of the Bucky he was supposed to go back to being now that HYDRA was no more.

“Hey, Buck. Ready to go?” Steve called from the door, snapping Bucky from his musing.

“Yeah.” Bucky sprang up off the couch and the two of them found themselves descending down the elevator back onto the street.

Steve expressed interest in trying out a restaurant they had run by earlier – something that had smelled good in passing. Bucky didn’t argue. Bucky would eat anything.

The food was supposed to be a fusion between eastern flavors and standard American fare, but it just tasted spicy if Bucky was honest. Steve seemed to enjoy it and that’s what mattered.

Bucky hadn’t thought to ask FRIDAY where the movie theatres were located, but it seemed that Steve remembered the location of at least one of them. Bucky followed his friend on the subway, carefully avoiding eye-contact with the other passengers.

The theatre was massive. They waited in line to get some popcorn – which was a requirement for Steve to enjoy any film apparently – and then wandered over to the ticket counter. Steve didn’t protest in the slightest when Bucky told him which movie FRIDAY had helped him pick out.

Once inside they had plenty of seats to choose from – both because they were a little early and because the film had been out for a couple weeks, which suited Bucky just fine. He didn’t care for crowds.

The advertisements seemed to go on forever. What was up with that? They used to show short animated features or give highlights from the World News before the main event. Steve grumbled about it and Bucky agreed. But finally the lights dimmed and the previews ran at full volume.

Bucky barely made it through the first ten minutes before falling asleep. Steve was hooked, of course, as Bucky knew he would be. Knowing that Steve was at his side and the gloom of the theatre was enough for Bucky to drift off peacefully, catching up on some much needed rest. He awoke just as the credits began to roll because a group of teenage girls began talking excitedly among themselves about their favorite parts.

Bucky turned to look at Steve, hoping his nap had gone unnoticed. Steve looked very strange.

“Hey… you okay?” Bucky asked.

“They turned Lysander into… Lyssa. A woman.” Steve said slowly.

“Yeah, FRIDAY mentioned it was re re-telling of a Shakespeare play.” Bucky replied – apparently his stealth sleeping had been successful.

Steve still looked a bit off.

“You ready to head back?” Bucky prompted.

“Er… yeah. Okay.” Steve said. They were nearly the last ones to leave.

The walk back to the Tower was silent, up until they were getting into the lift. Bucky was starting to have second thoughts about his choice of movie – maybe it was a bad one after all.

“So… did _you_ like it?” Steve asked all of the sudden.

“Like what?” Bucky asked in surprise.

“The film.” Steve prompted, as if they had been talking all this time.

Bucky wasn’t sure how honest he should be. “Er… it was a little dull. I mean, when it is a story you know I guess that takes some of the fun out of it.” He answered evasively.

“Dull?” Steve swallowed. “Okay. That’s one word for it.”

“I take it you didn’t care for it?” Bucky asked.

“Oh, no, I rather enjoyed it. Just caught me by surprise. Didn’t think you would pick something like that.”

“Like what?” Bucky was hoping to derail this conversation as soon as possible.

“I guess… I mean… I just don’t want to read too much into this. That is, unless there really is more to it?” Asked Steve, although he sounded very uncertain.

Bucky had no idea what Steve was talking about. Time for evasive maneuvers.

“I understand if you would rather invite someone else next time. Does Sam like romantic comedies? He seems like he would be the right kind of guy to take to a movie like that.” Bucky tried.

“Buck… has Dr. Banner talked to you about the serum?” Steve asked all of the sudden.

Bucky blinked. That was an abrupt subject change. “Er… no. What about it?” The elevator was stopped and had been for a few seconds now, but neither of them made a move.

Steve just nodded. “Okay… so you figured it out some other way, right?”

“Steve, you’re not making any sense.” Bucky was beyond confused.

Steve winced. “God – this is so hard to talk about. Why is it so _hard_?”

Bucky was still clueless, but it was obvious the film had triggered something in his friend. Something that was making him spout nonsense. He tried patting Steve’s shoulder in solidarity. “Hey, it’s okay.”

“I know! I know.” Steve answered, taking a moment to recompose himself.

“Next time, take Sam…” Tried Bucky, but he was interrupted.

“I don’t _want_ Sam. I want…” Steve began. “I want _you_ , Buck.” Steve was looking down at the floor of the elevator, muscles taught as if he was braced for an attack.

It took a moment for Bucky to understand. He backpedaled through their conversation since the film. What was the plot for _A Midsummer Night’s Dream_ again? Something about everyone falling for the wrong person because of some spell. But everything worked itself out in the end. Happily Ever After.

“Please, just tell me one way or the other. I won’t bring it up again if you don’t want me to. But with everything Dr. Banner said about the serum… I don’t know, it made me hope that we were the same, you know? And then you took me to _that_. And I’ve been trying to work out _why_ …” Steve rambled.

“Steve.” Bucky interrupted this time. “Steve listen to me.”

Steve looked up with hope in his eyes. Those beautiful, blue eyes. And Bucky was going to hurt him.

“I think I understand, Steve.” Bucky said slowly and carefully. “But I can’t, Steve. I can’t.”

“Oh.” The hope in Steve’s eyes vanished and the pain Bucky’s words had caused lingered in them instead.

Bucky sighed. “It isn’t you, Steve. Heck… I love you already in every way I _can_.” He tried to explain. “Without you… well, I wouldn’t be Bucky.”

Steve made for the door.

“Steve! _Please_ … I want you to understand.” But Steve didn’t stop and Bucky was left alone in the lift.

Damn that stupid movie. Damn this stupid elevator. Damn HYDRA and their stupid tricks. Damn the serum. Damn the war. Damn his stupid, broken body. Damn his broken mind.

Bucky came to seconds later at his own floor. There were dents in the lift from his metal fist. He found that he didn’t care. FRIDAY was trying to talk to him, but he wasn’t listening. He packed a bag of his meager possessions and headed for the stairs. He wasn’t going to risk FRIDAY taking control of the lift.

Minutes later he was back on the streets – walking away from his only connection to James Buchannan Barnes.

***---***---***

Two days later, strangely enough, it was Dr. Banner who found Bucky. He knew he couldn’t hide for long, especially if he kept using Stark’s credit card. But he was hungry. And now that he had calmed down, he really did need to explain what it was he wanted. For the first time in a long time – Bucky _wanted_ something.

Bruce walked into the fast food restaurant and scanned the tables. Bucky wasn’t hard to spot. He was the only one wearing far too many layers for the nice weather New York was currently enjoying. Probably using them to hide his metal arm and long hair.

“Hey, Bucky. Can I sit with you?” Bruce asked politely.

Bucky nodded.

“FRIDAY notified us that you might have flown the coop, but we weren’t sure until this morning.” Bruce began. “Thanks for letting us catch up.”

Bucky just nodded again. Bruce wasn’t dumb.

“Tony traced you here, but I asked him if I could be the one to talk.” Continued Bruce.

“I appreciate that.” Bucky answered honestly. Talking to Tony would have been another disaster.

“Steve didn’t want to talk about what happened. Just said that you two had a fight. Surprised all of us. He’s worried about you. We all are.”

Bucky felt guilty. “This isn’t Steve’s fault.”

“Okay. Care to fill me in?” Bruce asked. Bucky was suddenly very happy it was Bruce that came to bring him in.

“Steve said something about the serum. Asked me if you had talked to me about it. What did he mean?” Inquired Bucky.

Bruce contemplated the question for a few seconds. “Well, seeing as there are now three of us among the Avengers that have been exposed to various forms of the serum – I went looking for patterns. One of my theories began to develop after our training with Dr. Fields. Tony, Dr. Strange, and I were performing an experiment to see if we could converse with the Hulk while I was conscious and aware – to help us communicate. We have our own problems to work out.”

Bucky nodded, prompting Bruce to continue.

“It turns out the Hulk is exclusively attracted to other men. You remember Tony barging in on your one-on-one with Greg? Yeah – mostly I was just in shock. I didn’t think the Other Guy was even capable of such feelings. But it got me wondering. Perhaps it was wrong of me… but I went to Steve and asked him if he had noticed any changes in his romantic or sexual attractions after he was injected with the serum. And… I’m guessing, that he was a little more willing to talk about it with _you_?”

“Only a bit. He might still need… _time_.” Admitted Bucky.

“Ah. Well, that explains why Steve is so reluctant to provide us with details.” Bruce revealed. Bucky felt shame and guilt for his part in any of it – for Steve to still be hurting, it was just so wrong.

“This was _not_ Steve’s fault.” Bucky repeated, adamantly.

Bruce just waited patiently for more.

“I’m still broken. Not physically. And thankfully HYDRA’s codes have been wiped. But I’m not… the Bucky Steve wants isn’t _me_. I can’t keep pretending that things are going to fall back into place. Too much has happened. I’ve _changed_. But… I’m lost without Steve. He’s all I’ve got.” Bucky continued. “I don’t think… I _know_ I’m not right. I can hardly sleep. I _hate_ those empty, open rooms in the Tower. I can’t stay there. And I can’t take Steve away from what he’s meant to do. I can’t keep… using him. Especially not now... now that I know I can’t be who or what Steve _wants_.”

“You love him.” Bruce answered. It wasn’t a question.

“Yeah… of course I do. More than anything. Probably always have.” Bucky admitted – his eyes were growing hot, but he refused to let any tears fall. He couldn’t remember the last time he had cried. "But I can't give Steve what he wants. It's impossible."

“He loves you, doesn't he? More than a friend.” This time it _was_ a question.

“Yes.”

“Then things aren’t nearly as bad as they might seem.” Bruce answered with a smile. Bucky looked up – confused. “You both need time apart. To heal. To grow. But it isn’t going to be forever.”

Bucky wiped furiously at his eyes. He was not going to cry.

“Steve needs more time to be comfortable in who he is – how he feels. You need time to learn who Bucky Barnes is going to be, what you want, and where you want to go from here. Somehow I doubt Steve will love you any less if you decide to quit the Avengers and become a chef or a violinist. You get a fresh start – and that’s both exciting and scary. Sound about right?” Bruce finished.

“Yeah.” Bucky croaked, still not crying. “How come you’re so smart?”

“I’m a doctor.” Bruce answered. "And I'm your friend."

“Thanks.”

Bruce smiled. “Of course.”


	6. Chapter 6

After a few phone calls, it was decided that Bucky would stay with Wanda and Vision in upstate New York in their guest bedroom for a while. Bruce escorted Bucky to one of Tony’s cars and they drove for several hours in relative silence. Bucky loved the room – that much was obvious. It was tiny, with only one window, but all of the furniture was made of dark walnut and warm. The walls were painted dusty pink and the plush carpet was cream. It was obviously empty, devoid of any personal touches, but Bucky said it was infinitely better than the giant rooms he had at the tower made of cold glass and metal.

Bruce made the long drive back to the Tower alone. It gave him time to prepare for what he was going to say to Steve – since he knew he would be ambushed by their leader immediately upon his return. He couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt that some of this was his fault. Although exactly why this would be the case remained unclear. He had been following up on a theory, nothing more. How Steve may have misinterpreted his ideas wasn’t something he really had any control over. In any case, Bruce called Tony when he was only a few blocks from the Tower – mission accomplished.

“Thanks for being willing to take point, Bruce. Not sure why Steve didn’t take charge with this one. Must have been quite the fight.” Tony’s voice was clear and soft over the phone.

“Something like that. Anyway, he seemed much better when I left. He just needs time.” Bruce answered with the least possible amount of explanation.

“Well, I’m still glad it was you and not me. I would have just made things worse.” Tony said.

Bruce sighed. “Tony, you haven’t really given Bucky much of a chance – all things considered. You don’t know him. You hardly speak to him. You might even find that you like him. You know, besides the obvious.” He didn’t mention Tony’s parents aloud, but they both knew what he meant.

Silence for a moment. “I don’t have anything against _Bucky_. Not… anymore.”

“Oh. This is still all about Steve then. What are you worried about?” Bruce asked. Tony was unusually open over the phone – less opportunities to evade emotional topics he supposed.

“Steve is an idealist. And he expects all of us to abide by his imaginary standards. He doesn’t approve of me. Wouldn’t want him to think I was corrupting his best mate. Or trespassing into his territory. Maybe that’s all this is – _biology_ – stupid animal dominance bullshit.” Rambled Tony.

“Somehow I doubt that. You know, having a doctorate in biology and all.” Bruce suggested.

“Whatever. Anyway, job well done. Meet you back in the labs?” Tony asked instead.

“I’m going to talk with Steve first, but yeah – I’ll see you there.” Answered Bruce.

As Bruce had expected, Steve was waiting for him practically right outside the elevator. He didn’t even have a chance to stretch his legs and relax after driving in New York traffic for hours. Steve didn’t initiate conversation with any questions though – just waited patiently for Bruce to notice him.

“Do you mind if I eat while we talk? I’m starving.” Bruce ushered Steve into his rooms, making a beeline for the fridge. There was still some fresh-cut mango in there from breakfast.

Steve didn’t answer but he followed him obediently. He looked ashamed, embarrassed, and extremely sad all at once. Like a kicked puppy.

Bruce peeled the plastic wrap off the bowl only part way and stuck a fork in the irregular chunks of orange fruit before they began. “Bucky kept insisting that his flight from the Tower was _not_ your fault. He isn’t mad at you. Neither am I, Steve. Relax.”

“Is… is he okay?” Steve asked quietly, his voice watery.

“Probably doing better than you are, actually. He just needs some time to himself. With all that has happened recently, he hasn’t had a chance to think about what _he_ wants to do now that he isn’t just someone’s weapon. He hated living in the Tower. He only stayed because this is where _you_ live.” Bruce explained.

“He never told me.” Complained Steve. “I mean… I knew he still wasn’t back to… well not _normal_ – but he never said…” He drifted off.

Bruce sighed and went through a few more bites of mango before he answered. “He still feels guilty about breaking up the team. I guess he thought that if he expressed his discomfort it might make waves – which might cause further division. Trying to be noble, I suppose. The problem with silent endurance is that eventually you break. We are lucky things didn’t turn out worse, honestly.”

“And I pushed him… over the edge.” Steve admitted, looking down in shame.

“Steve, I want to be respectful here – so you don’t have to answer unless you want to, but… Bucky told me the truth about your ‘ _argument’_.”

Steve nodded, resigned to the fact. “I figured he might.”

“You _know_ I won’t judge you. And after our meeting with Dr. Fields, you _know_ there are people who understand what you might be going through. I promise, it’s okay to talk about it.” Bruce urged.

“It still feels wrong. And not for the reasons you might think.” Steve answered, strangely calm.

“Why? Are you… _afraid_?” Tried Bruce.

Steve shook his head. “No. Nothing like that. It has to do with… Peggy.”

“Oh.” Bruce hadn’t expected that.

“I’ve never loved a woman before her. And what I felt for her was _real_.” Steve insisted.

“I believe you.”

Steve still shook his head. “But you don’t understand. Before the serum I looked at other men with desire. I chalked it down to envy. It was an evil, uncomfortable kind of feeling. I hated myself for it. I did everything I could to explain it away. To deny and suppress it.”

Bruce felt a wave of pity for Steve, but kept silent – waiting for him to continue.

“You asked before if the serum changed me in ways that the doctors wouldn’t have thought to ask – not at the time. I don’t think it did. Not really.” Steve gulped, averting his gaze to the floor. “I still looked at men – and _sometimes_ , they stared back. It was so confusing at first. I couldn’t figure out why the feelings hadn’t gone away with my new body. There wasn’t any reason for me to feel that way anymore.”

“I see.” Bruce replied.

“Peggy Carter believed in me even before the change. She didn’t… _want_ me before, of course. But there was no one like Peggy. She didn’t throw herself at me because of how I looked, like other girls did. We became friends. She kept on believing in me. And I _did_ love her.” Steve continued.

The mangos were gone by now, but Bruce didn’t dare move in fear that Steve would stop talking.

“Finally! I finally found a girl I _wanted_. Someday, we could have made it work – been married, had a family…  the whole bit. I convinced myself that everything I had felt before had been a mere shadow of what I felt for Peggy. That it didn’t matter.”

Bruce interjected. “But your other feelings… they didn’t just go away, did they?”

“No.” Steve admitted, sadly. “But I had convinced myself that I could ignore them now that I had something _real_ to hold onto instead. Peggy was real… and then I crashed.”

“And you lost her.” Bruce supplied, lamely.

“I lost everything.” Steve admitted. “But when I saw Buck… I wasn’t _alone_ anymore.”

“Did you always have feelings for Bucky?” Bruce asked.

Steve nodded. “It was why I was so… _bitter_ about it. He was like my brother. He was strong and… _beautiful_. Being envious of his body made more sense in my head than admitting the truth. And amazingly, he stayed by my side – even when I was nothing. Of course I loved him.”

They sat in silence for a while – the weight of Steve admission heavy in the air.

“Then you got him back. For real. He’s free from HYDRA’s control now.” Bruce prompted.

“And then I had to go and ruin everything.” Steve said, his voice broke. Bruce tried not to notice the tears that began streaming down Steve’s cheeks.

Bruce shook his head. “Why do you say that? You haven’t lost him forever. You were just being honest with him. That’s a good thing.”

“I thought things were going so well. I wasn’t thinking about _him_. I was thinking about myself.” Steve hid his face in his hands.

“And that isn’t _wrong_. You deserve to be happy, Steve. And while I can’t speak for Bucky – you’re deluding yourself if you think that man doesn’t love you back. Even if it isn’t how you might have hoped. He isn’t holding anything against you, Steve. I promise.” Bruce tried to soothe.

“I think I know that. I’m just sorry I opened my big mouth.” Steve admitted, gaining control once more.

Bruce sighed. “Steve, when Dr. Fields returns I’m going to come out for the Hulk to the whole team. I want them to know. At least so that they recognize that this isn’t something abstract – something only useful for PR. That way, _someday_ – if you want to – they will be better prepared for you to come out too. You will at least have that option.”

Steve looked shocked.

“You aren’t alone, Steve. Not in how you feel, and certainly not without friends who want you to be happy.” Bruce concluded.

Steve nodded once – soberly.

“But now I really, _really_ am going to have to ask you to leave. Not because I’m not glad we talked – but because a body can only go so long without visiting a restroom. Seriously, I’ve been in the car for the past six hours!”

“Oh! Right.” Steve looked embarrassed, but he laughed weakly and hurried out the door.

***---***---***

Bruce didn’t say much to Tony in the labs that evening. He was just too tired. But he knew they needed to talk, and soon, about how they were dealing with the Hulk. Instead of returning to his own rooms that night, he decided it would only be fair to sleep in the Playground – if for no other reason than to tell Tony he was using it. The Hulk did not come out, but he still slept well on the giant bed.

“FRIDAY, where _is_ Tony this morning?” Bruce asked after returning to the labs and finding them empty.

“Mr. Stark has a meeting with Stark Industries Global Engagement Team, but he should return to the Tower this afternoon.” The AI replied promptly.

“Thanks.” Bruce returned out of habit – even if the robot didn’t care about his manners.

That meant he had more time to check on his experiments. But after just over an hour, he was just too distracted to continue. _What If_ s and _If Only_ s kept swirling around in his head – so he gave up. He was a doctor, it was second nature for him to worry over and want to help his teammates. But his own situation wasn’t going to just go away. He needed to take one thing at a time.

He _definitely_ wasn’t ready to attempt getting close to someone again so soon – especially not after being blindsided by Hulk’s sexual orientation and apparent sexual experience on Sakaar. Bruce appreciated Tony’s help, but his singular focus on building a relationship with someone in the future and ignoring Bruce’s prompt questions was getting out of hand. Years of fearing who and what the Hulk could harm – with adequate justification – wasn’t going to just evaporate away in a few days.

“FRIDAY, play back the Hulk’s most recent appearance in the Tower – beginning from when Dr. Strange and Tony left the Playground.” Bruce requested.

“Command is a contradiction. Mr. Stark programmed me to specify explicitly when this occurs. Which data logs from the Playground do you wish to view – the most recent appearance of the Hulk in the Tower _OR_ footage of the Hulk immediately after the departure of Dr. Strange and Mr. Stark four days ago?” The AI inquired as if nothing was amiss.

“ _What_?” Bruce asked, not immediately registering what FRIDAY meant. Asking a computer a contradiction could cause a malfunction, Tony had obviously programmed a work around. But the Hulk hadn’t been out in days. _Right_?

FRIDAY repeated her query.

This time Bruce understood. “Uh… the Hulk’s most recent appearance.”

The holo-screen lit up with an image of the Playground, seemingly deserted. But from the darkness of the bedroom emerged a familiar shape. The Hulk, buck naked, but in obvious control of all his faculties simply strolling into the simple dining area and re-emerging with what must have been a golden melon. He took bites out of it, rind, seeds and all until there was nothing left. Besides the awkwardness of nudity, the scene was positively boring - for the Hulk.

“Is he… _talking_?” Bruce asked after the melon had disappeared and the Hulk didn’t move from his position near the table, head turned away from the camera.

“He asked if I could get fruit from Sakaar – and when I told him that would not be possible, we compromised by him telling me which fruits were his favorite from the selection provided. The order was sent out this morning and everything should be restocked. Would you like to hear the audio file?” FRIDAY asked – as emotionless as ever. As if compromising with the Hulk was no big deal.

Bruce was floored. He hadn’t felt the Hulk emerge at all last night. Was it possible that he came out like this – so docile and calm – on a regular basis? Perhaps before the Playground was even completed – even before the Avengers?

“ _No_ , thank you. Uh… FRIDAY, in the past 30 days, how many times has the Hulk manifested?” Asked Bruce.

“Insufficient data to give an exact number. Audio and visual feeds do not extend into Dr. Banner’s bedroom or private bath. Hulk sightings in monitored areas comes to nine.” FRIDAY answered.

“ _Nine_!” Bruce felt sick. He thought he had been so careful! He thought the Hulk was unusually inactive – but it turns out the reverse was true. “Are all but two of these sightings at night?”

“Affirmative.” Came the robot’s reply.

The fact the Bruce liked to sleep in the buff was perhaps the only reason he hadn’t caught on. Torn clothes and bedsheets would be a dead giveaway. He tried to think back to any times food had mysteriously gone missing from his fridge – but he honestly didn’t pay that much attention to something so trivial, not anymore at least. Living in the Tower made grocery shopping unnecessary.

“No one has been hurt? The Hulk hasn’t left the building at night?” Bruce asked suddenly – fearing the worst.

“The Hulk has had no contact with others besides on those two occasions he appeared to Dr. Strange and Mr. Stark in the Playground. The Hulk does not have access to the elevator. The security trip-wires attached to Dr. Banner’s windows remain undamaged. It is reasonable to assume the Hulk has not left the Tower at night.” FRIDAY recited.

“You mean Tony hasn’t programmed you to alert anyone to the Hulk appearing outside the Playground?” This Bruce found he could hardly believe.

“Mr. Stark has programmed me to alert him should you or the Hulk require clothing when deemed a requirement for social interaction – this extends to anywhere in the Tower or outside it. Has my judgement of solitary appearances within private quarters as an exception to this order been an _error_?” Inquired the AI, almost sounding offended.

“Tell Tony I want to talk to him as soon as possible, will you?” Bruce answered, feeling frustrated. This wasn’t the fault of any robot.

“Message sent.” Replied FRIDAY in her calm, cool voice.

Bruce looked over both the Playground and his own rooms carefully for any signs of damage, just in case. Nothing was out of order. Nothing was broken. All the while he asked FRIDAY more questions. Apparently the Hulk’s nighttime manifestations had been a recent occurrence, since after Sakaar at least – which was a bit of a relief.  The more he thought about this, the more it made sense. Having physical control of their body for two whole years might not have cooled the Hulk’s desires to fight, smash, and destroy - but it may have taught him to apply these urges in a more focused and appropriate direction.

But that was no excuse for Tony to be so lax in his security programming! The Hulk was still dangerous – even unintentionally. Granted, he wasn’t aware that the Hulk did not have authorized access to the elevator, but he wasn’t sure if that was a rational decision on Tony’s part or a security measure so that Hulk’s massive size and weight didn’t cause it, or the Tower, irreparable damage. The longer he had to wait for Tony to arrive the cooler his anger became. But it wasn’t gone entirely.

“Mr. Stark has entered the Tower and will be joining you momentarily.” FRIDAY announced.

“ _Finally_.” Bruce grumbled.

And just as his AI had promised, Tony waltzed into the Playground in an expensive, black suit. “What’s happened? FRIDAY said it was urgent.”

“Tony, did you know the Hulk has been coming out at night? _Without_ my knowledge.” Bruce began carefully.

Tony’s face was a dead giveaway. “ _Uh_ … I might have known about it. A little.”

“And you didn’t see the need to tell me _because_ …” Bruce began, his temper rising again.

Tony paused to gather his thoughts. “Well, I knew you would figure it out. _Eventually_. Why am I in trouble?” He seemed sincere.

“Because the Hulk is dangerous! I know you like to pretend he isn’t – but nothing has really changed. I agreed to stay in the Tower because I believed you would keep him under control. We’ve been lucky so far. _Damn_ lucky.” Ranted Bruce. “I just want to hear you say that you’re taking this seriously!”

“Of course I am, Bruce. Stop yelling at me.” Tony replied in a calm, quiet voice. It made Bruce feel guilty.

“When did you find out?” Bruce demanded instead.

“Two weeks after Thanos.” Tony answered. “FRIDAY informed me that the Hulk was awake but there was no sign of danger. It became a pattern, once or twice a week the Hulk would appear with the same result. When I asked you about it, you said he was quiet. At first, I assumed that meant you knew – so I discontinued FRIDAY’s general Hulk alarm. It was only once we began work on the Playground in earnest that I realized my mistake in assuming you had full knowledge of Hulk’s nightly activities. But it had been _months_ since I’d stopped monitoring him – with no damage reported and no injuries. I suppose I was naïve enough to think you would be _happy_ to discover how well behaved he has been.”

Bruce took a moment to absorb this new information. _Months_.

“How is Jolly Green Junior doing?” Tony asked.

“ _Who_?” Bruce asked incredulously – was this a joke about seeing Hulk’s dick on camera?

“I meant the plant. How is it?” Tony asked. Bruce had nearly forgotten all about it. They walked around the Playground, finding it near a window – the dirt inside still a little moist. “Seems alright to me. Are you still mad at me?”

Bruce considered this. “No. And I… I _suppose_ I should apologize.” But he didn’t.

“Bruce, I’m your friend. Trust me – the Hulk is more than you believe him to be.” Tony interjected.

Bruce looked back at the plant. It looked healthy and whole. “ _Okay_. Maybe you’re right.”

Tony did a fist pump – which was _so_ immature.

“But you’ve got to back off a bit on the relationship thing during our sessions with Dr. Strange. The Hulk might be more… _capable_ than I ever imagined – but that doesn’t mean _I’m_ ready for any of it.” Continued Bruce.

“Alright – I suppose that’s fair.” Tony admitted.

“This wouldn’t be such a nightmare if I could just _talk_ to him. But I can’t. We need a mediator. And while you haven’t been doing a terrible job – you can still do better. There’s a lot more to both of us than sex, Tony.” Bruce finished.

Tony rolled his eyes. “I know that! I guess… I just want to see you happy. Especially since… well, I guess this has been more about my own problems than I’d like to admit.”

“I’m sorry… you know, about you and Pepper.” Bruce offered. “I missed _so much_ on Sakaar.”

“You didn’t miss that much. At least not with us. We fought like cats and dogs from the beginning. It was inevitable, really.” Tony smiled a sad, painful smile.

“I’m still sorry.” Bruce said.

“Me too.” Replied Tony.

***---***---***

Bucky did not understand why they had to return to the Tower by car. Vision could fly. And Tony had many, many different aircrafts available at his disposal. It took hours with Bruce just to escape the traffic of New York City to reach upstate. He wasn’t keen on being stuck in the back seat for that long again – but he had little choice. He didn’t have a driver’s license, but Wanda had just received hers a few weeks prior. Something about no longer living in the big city and being more self-reliant.

As to why they were heading back to the Tower – it was time for Dr. Fields second Diversity Training. Every one of the Avengers, including the Reserve team, were again required to attend. And to be honest, Bucky didn’t mind _that_ so much. He actually rather liked Greg. It was the prospect of seeing Steve again that worried him.

“Stop looking in the mirrors so much. Focus on where you are going.” Vision suggested, unhelpfully. He was in the passenger’s seat – the lucky devil. Wanda ignored him.

She was a careful driver – but Bucky couldn’t help but notice that they were making excellent time. Perhaps too good, especially considering their driver was enhanced. Other cars seemed to move out of their way almost instinctively. But he wasn’t about to question it.

“It will be good to see everyone again. Thor can tell us about how he’s getting along in South America.” Vision continued babbling. He didn’t seem to require a response. Bucky had very foggy memories of at least a couple missions in South America – none of them pleasant.

“Last rest stop before big city traffic is coming up. Anyone need a break?” Wanda asked kindly. Vision, of course didn’t _need_ to – so she was only asking generally so that Bucky wouldn’t feel put on the spot.

“Nah. Go ahead. Just don’t get us there _too_ early.” Bucky answered, hinting that he was on to her.

She rolled her eyes at him in the rear view mirror. If Vision noticed, he didn’t mention it.

Only slightly ahead of schedule, they entered the underground parking for the Tower an hour later. Bucky supposed it would be nice to catch up with some of the others before the meeting started – but in all honesty he was just too nervous about seeing Steve. Would they ignore each other? Or would Steve try to pretend like nothing had changed?

The three of them took the lift up to the Meeting Room in relative silence – except for Vision asking if he could interface with FRIDAY. The two computers exchanged information in a matter of seconds and when they were done Vision smiled. Bucky tried to take comfort in this. Nothing to worry about.

Upon arriving, Bucky gave a sigh of relief. They weren’t the first in the room – but there was no sign of Steve. Dr. Fields had also not arrived yet - the same with Natasha and Scott. Tony was talking animatedly to Bruce and Pepper in one corner while Sam, Rhodey, and Clint were crowded around Clint’s phone – probably admiring pictures of Clint’s kids. No one was unfriendly, and better yet, no one was too friendly either – considering how Bucky had left them.

That is with the exception of Thor. But Thor was loud when reuniting with anyone, so Bucky didn’t take it personally. Surprisingly, Jane was with him this time. Bucky hadn’t met her before. She had a beautiful smile and looked positively _tiny_ compared to Thor. But strangely enough the two of them just clicked. It was endearing to watch them give highlights about their time in South America, finishing each other’s sentences, laughing at the other’s jokes, and giving each other knowing smiles.

Dr. Fields and Steve were the last to arrive. Steve didn’t acknowledge Bucky directly, except for a sad smile and a nod. Neither of them were ready to talk yet.

“It is wonderful to see everyone again!” Dr. Fields announced himself this time. “I trust you remember the rules from our last meeting – but just in case, I’ll refresh your memory. Being stuffy and formal makes my skin crawl, so feel free to ask questions and share any concerns. But anything that is shared in this room is nevertheless to be treated with respect. And before you ask, yes, Pepper has arranged for me to be available all afternoon – just like last time. Sign up for a slot when we break for lunch.”

“Speaking of which – refreshments have been provided in the Playground, for anyone interested. Somehow FRIDAY let the Hulk order a Supermarket's worth of fresh produce.” Tony interjected. Bruce hung his head in shame, so Tony probably wasn’t kidding.

Clint laughed. “Well, at least it was something healthy.”

“Thank you, Tony – I’ll take you up on that.” Greg continued. Their topic today was racial diversity from an evolutionary perspective. Both Thor and Vision were brought up as exceptions to the rules on multiple occasions, which they all turned into a running joke about there being aliens among them. Dr. Fields adamantly expressed that there exists only one human race with both his trademark humor and charm. Cultural and ethnic groups, diverse languages, appearance, religion, even wayward scientific proofs – a myriad of superficial differences and beliefs were used to justify mistreatment of minority or disadvantaged groups throughout history. He concluded on a slightly more somber note, indicating that while most racist laws had been redacted – many were still enforced socially, consciously or not.

“Bravo, Dr. Fields!” Pepper applauded.

It was a moving speech, really. Bucky surprised himself by speaking out. “Well said.”

“You are too kind.” Greg bowed un-gracefully from where he sat, but his smile was genuine. “Before we all head down for our vegetarian feast – I’ve been told that a few of you had something they wanted to announce regarding our last session. So I will, of course, _metaphorically_ step down.” He bowed again.

Bruce stood up. Bucky thought he was going to try and explain the Hulk’s addiction to produce, but it turned out to be something else entirely.

“My friends – I’ve had the opportunity over these past few weeks to learn more about the Hulk and about myself. Our team already includes a wide range of diverse individuals on the merit of easily identifiable traits – gender, ethnicity, and even species. Last time we tackled a topic that is not always so obvious – which is perhaps why it has taken a bit longer for society to recognize and respect it. I asked for a moment of your time today to stand up and be counted. Not only am I cursed to change into a giant rage monster – which you have to admit is pretty unique already – I am also part of the LGBTQ community.” Bruce paused to take a breath. “I identify as demisexual. And the Hulk… is gay.”

This time the room erupted with real applause. Cheers. Cat-calls. All of it affirming. It made Bucky’s heart swell with pride. Dr. Fields gave Bruce a hug. Pepper gave him a hug. And then he was mobbed with pats on the back and handshakes from Scott, Sam, and Clint.

Bucky looked at Steve. Steve was crying. But they were happy tears.

***---***---***

 “I’m surprised you made an appointment with me, Pepper. You know we can talk anytime back at Stark Industries HQ.” Dr. Fields began that afternoon.

“You of all people should know I make the most of my time off. And besides, considering who I need to talk to you about – I figured I’d kill two birds with one stone.” Pepper answered.

Greg smiled. “Somehow I bet I can guess to which Avenger you might be referring.”

“Obviously.” She affirmed. “He’s been dropping in at my office almost every other day. It isn’t that I don’t still care about him – I just don’t know how to make him stop. I want to be friends again, I really do. _Just_ friends.”

“Have you considered going on sabbatical? The separation would do you both some good, I think.” Suggested Greg.

“But I might return to an even bigger mess. I want to know I’m leaving him in good hands, Doctor. He needs to let me go. He needs to open up to his friends. Go on a date. Whatever it takes so that things can go back to the way they were between us.”

Dr. Fields sighed. “People always say that. Back to the way things were. It isn’t possible, Pepper. You have to establish a new normal. Reset boundaries.”

“I guess I know that. I just wish it didn’t mean more work. Relationships should have default settings or something.” Complained Pepper.

Greg laughed. “Maybe they will, someday. When we are all cyborgs. Until then, I’m afraid we still have to do things the long way.”

Pepper pursed her lips into a pout. “Okay. What do you suggest I do?”

“Take your sabbatical. He might flounder a bit without you – but he isn’t alone. And I promise to keep an eye out for him too, if you want.”

“He can get… _crazy_. Promise me you’ll call if something happens!” Pepper demanded.

“I promise to call for the right help if and when the situation calls for it. The answer might _not_ be you, Pepper. You have to let go too.” Dr. Fields said wisely.

“Greg. When I get back, remind me to give you a raise.”


	7. Chapter 7

Two whole months went by – Dr. Fields gave trainings on Gender and Sexual Harassment the first month and then concluded his tenure with a stirring and enlightening lecture on Diverse Cultural Perspectives. Everyone was sad so see him leave. Surprisingly, only a few minor missions interrupted their peaceful schedule, usually carried out by Steve, Natasha, Sam, and Scott. The meetings had brought them back together in some ways. The sharp division of camps in the Tower had blurred significantly.

What no one had anticipated was that Pepper would not be attending either meeting. When pressed, both Tony and Dr. Fields just said she was on sabbatical – neither of them giving any details. This worried Bruce, as he was perhaps the only Avenger in constant contact with Tony. At first Tony didn’t seem bothered at all, a front that Bruce recognized as denial. But it soon became apparent that things were not going well – if the dramatic increase in empty glass tumblers and the occasional bottle forgotten in the labs was anything to go by.

Only a few days after Dr. Fields final training, Bruce was alone in the labs when an unexpected visitor arrived – Hope van Dyne. Tony had given the excuse that he was off to some meeting, but Bruce had suspected it was a lie.

“Oh, hello Dr. Banner. I was hoping to catch Tony.” The attractive woman announced.

“Er… sorry, he just stepped out. Was he expecting you? FRIDAY can call him back.” Answered Bruce.

“That won’t be necessary. Just dropping something off.” She procured a small case from her pocket and deposited it on the table. “See that he gets this, won’t you?”

“Sure thing.” Bruce nodded. “But… he might be a while. It won’t explode, right?” He tried to tease, but it came out rather flat.

“Just data – nothing dangerous.” Hope looked skeptical at Bruce’s attempt at humor. “Is everything okay?”

Bruce debated on how honest he should be. “Well, _I’m_ doing rather well. Things with the Hulk have been progressing nicely. He gives me a nudge every now and then when he wants to come out, but I know he’s getting restless for more action. It’s not _us_ that I’m worried over so much anymore.” He babbled.

“It’s Tony, isn’t it.” Hope stated.

“Yeah.” He admitted.

Hope took a few seconds before continuing. “He never admitted to it, but I’m sure it was Tony who helped Scott out a lot – legally, I mean. So Scott could still visit his daughter.”

Bruce nodded again. “Sounds like something he would do.”

“It means a lot to him. To both of us.” She added. “What can I do to help?”

Bruce considered that for a minute. “I’m not sure. But… I’m worried about him. He puts on a front for the media that everything is fine – stands by Steve’s side for pictures and everything – but things aren’t that simple. Tony doesn’t… _open up_ easily. Since Pepper left, things seem to be getting worse.”

“He still trusts _you_. Have you talked to him about it?” Asked Hope.

“I’ve tried. He changes the subject or makes up excuses to leave the Tower.” Bruce defended himself. “It doesn’t help that… well, he opened up to me once before and I didn’t take it as seriously as I ought to have done.”

Hope waved this off. “So you aren’t perfect. No one is, Bruce. Do you think he would talk to me? We haven’t known each other very long – but maybe that’s what he needs, to talk things out with someone who hasn’t been involved in whatever it is that seems to be bothering him.”

“You could try. But Tony struggles to open up to Pepper and Rhodey – and he’s known them forever.”

Hope pursed her lips, thinking. “Maybe he just needs a different outlet. I like to write letters. It gives me enough time to organize my thoughts before I share them. And it isn’t as frightening to confront difficult topics if things aren’t said face-to-face.”

Bruce was suddenly reminded of his phone call to Tony weeks before on the ride back to the Tower after dropping Bucky off with Wanda and Vision. “You might be onto something, actually. Thanks.”

Hope shrugged. “Hey, if I can do more – just let me know.”

“I will.” Answered Bruce.

“Good luck, Dr. Banner.” Hope waived and returned to the lift.

***---***---***

The Playground was finally getting used. At first, it was because Bruce was too scared to return to his own rooms knowing that the Hulk could emerge unbidden at night while he slept. He knew this was illogical, seeing as nothing bad had happened all the time it have been going on without him being aware of it. But fear isn’t always logical.

Dr. Strange had been unavailable for another session, so Bruce was forced to just focus on sharing his body with the Hulk. He had to space his projects in the lab out so that in between he could give the Hulk time to do… _whatever_ it was that the Hulk did. He watched hours of footage of the Hulk from FRIDAY’s cameras – but besides climbing, smashing, eating, and occasionally talking to FRIDAY – nothing much happened. Tony was his only visitor.

Thor and the Hulk did spar on the occasions that the entire team was brought together for Dr. Field’s trainings. Tony let them take a jet to a barren stretch of Canada’s frozen tundra, just in case. It was good for both of them, Jane had said afterwards. Thor found South America fascinating, but he did get bored and restless on occasion, given the nature of Jane’s work. Both times the Hulk didn’t emerge for days afterwards – seeming to be content and resting. But it wasn’t possible to indulge the Hulk as often as he probably would have liked.

All the while, the plant Tony had gifted the Hulk continued to remain almost untouched – save for its occasional relocation. If pale green leaves of new growth hadn’t appeared Bruce might have wondered if it was artificial with how happy it seemed. As a second experiment, Bruce got another plant. Without careful instructions, Bruce wondered if the Hulk would destroy this new addition to the Playground. The large vases and sandstone slabs had long been reduced to rubble, after all - several times over.

But after a few weeks, the second plant was as healthy and happy as the first. Bruce hadn’t even bothered to water it. This was the moment that Bruce returned to his own quarters to sleep. He wondered why it had taken him so long to accept that the Hulk simply reacted to violence more often than he instigated it. The Hulk liked to smash things, he enjoyed proving his strength, but he didn’t necessarily like to hurt anyone without cause. The Hulk didn’t even kill two insignificant house plants when given ample opportunity to do so.

The next test would be more… _risky_.

“FRIDAY, please call Tony for me.” Bruce asked the AI as he walked into the Playground later that afternoon.

“Right away, sir.”

“Dr. Banner. What’s up?” Tony’s cheery voice sounded a bit forced as it replaced FRIDAY’s on the speaker system.

“You win, Tony. The plant idea wasn’t so bad after all.” Bruce admitted, wanting to start this conversation in a non-threatening way.

A moment of silence. “I _am_ a genius. Old News.”

“I’m thinking of expanding upon it, actually.” Bruce mentioned casually.

“You mean besides the second plant you brought in under my nose?” Tony revealed.

Bruce laughed. “Can’t get anything past you, can I? Well, I was thinking of something bigger. Plants don’t do anything except sit there. We should test the Hulk’s reactions to… _other_ stimuli.”

“Please tell me this means we can go to Vegas.” Begged Tony.

“Uh… no. I was thinking more along the lines of getting a pet.” Bruce replied.

Tony sneered. “Eeeww. My idea is better. Much less messy. Unless, you know, the Big Guy wanted it that way.”

Bruce did his best not to imagine what Tony was suggesting. “I think that’s a few giant leaps ahead of _my_ comfort level. But keep dreaming, Tony.”

“Fine.” Answered Tony in a huff. “So are you adopting Spot or Mittens?”

“If you mean cat or dog, I’m not certain. Both seem a little… _small_ and _fragile_.” Bruce started doubting himself.

“While I’m sure I could engineer a way for an elephant to be happy in the Tower, I doubt that would help, Bruce. Besides… do you _know_ how much they poop? Yuck.”

Bruce laughed again. “You’re probably right. A cat then. An older one that doesn’t scare easily.”

“Tolerable.” Tony answered in a resigned sort of way.

“I was thinking about going out today – to the shelter I mean. Care to join me?” Bruce asked casually – trying to segue into the real reason for his call.

Silence.

“Where are you, Tony?” Bruce asked.

“In the suit.”

“And where is the suit, Tony?” Bruce continued.

“Hovering over the Atlantic. Might even be a nice view, if I edit out all the colored specs of floating plastic.”

“New project?” Inquired Bruce.

“Maybe.” Tony sounded wistful.

“As worthy a cause as that sounds – you can’t fix everything by yourself, Tony. I thought you were at a meeting. Care to talk about it?” He urged.

“Not really.” Tony clammed up.

“I’m not asking for much, Tony. Just talk. About… _anything_.” Insisted Bruce gently.

Tony didn’t answer right away. “FRIDAY put you up to this?”

“Nope.” He answered honestly.

More silence.

“Okay. Did you know that even after our collective brush with partial annihilation the world governments haven’t passed any new laws regarding better resource management?” Tony supplied.

“I can’t say that I’m surprised.”

“Why are humans such morons?” Continued Tony.

Bruce sighed. “How so?”

“Funding for military programs has almost doubled. Sure, cooperation between nations has improved, but only so that the idiot’s in charge feel like they can mount a more collective offensive to the next big threat. Poverty, hunger, unemployment, the environment… none of that seems to matter.”

“What is this really about, Tony?”

“Thanos was evil. Killing people isn’t the answer. It _can’t_ be. But I don’t know what is.” Tony sighed.

Bruce just waited for more.

“The Avengers aren’t bringing about the change I had expected. And so I have to ask myself… are we really helping at all anymore?”

“You’ve made a difference to a lot of people, Tony. You matter to Peter.” Said Bruce calmly.

There was a choked off sound from Tony at the mention of the youngest Avenger.

“And you matter to _me_ , Tony. Even though my situation with the Hulk is pretty fucked up.” He continued.

“Yeah… I know.” Tony sounded sad at the idea though.

Bruce tried something else. “Hey, things with the team seem to be improving since Dr. Fields. Bucky smiled at our last meeting. A real smile. Did you see?”

“I can’t say I did, sorry.” Replied Tony.

“Change of scenery seems to have done wonders for him. Ever think that you might need that sometime?”

“Please, I’ve got vacation homes all over the world. And if I don’t, they are easy to buy.” Tony sounded bitter.

Bruce backtracked. “Maybe a different kind of change then. As close as Bucky and Steve were, it seems to be doing them some good to spend some time apart. If being part of the Avengers is making you unhappy, maybe you just need a break from it. Go ‘ _On Reserve_ ’.”

“It isn’t that. Not really.” Admitted Tony.

“Then what is it?” Bruce asked carefully.

It took a while for Tony to reply, but he did eventually. “The jumps we took… you know, to alter time… For those worlds that FRIDAY could interface with… _every single one_ … I was still alone, Bruce. She left me… every single time.”

Bruce had no idea that while in the Iron Man suit Tony had been able to access data from the brief glimpses of the many worlds they had traversed to defeat Thanos and restore all that had been taken from them. Not all of the worlds were recognizable – the technology, or lack thereof, was sometimes too foreign for them to fully comprehend. But they had traveled through time as well as through dimensions.

“And how many of those worlds are you discounting where you and Pepper were still together in the past?” Bruce asked rationally.

This was not the response Tony had expected, it seemed. “Er… well… I mean, a few of them. Maybe.”

“Tony – you and Pepper had something really special. Just because you couldn’t make it work forever doesn’t mean it wasn’t meaningful. It doesn’t somehow _invalidate_ the love you shared.” Bruce reasoned.

“ _Huh_ …” Tony answered vaguely.

Bruce didn’t know what else to say. The fact that Tony had been carrying this around alone for more than half a year now seemed like something he would do. Typical _genius_ emotional issues.

“That kind of helps… I guess. A little bit.” Tony admitted.

“So are you going to fly back here so we can go to the shelter?” Asked Bruce.

“Sure. Five minutes. _And_ I get to name it.”

“If you insist.” Bruce conceded.

Another pause. “Thanks, Bruce.”

“Of course.”

***---***---***

Bucky was happy. It was an emotion he didn’t know he was still capable of feeling. He got up when he was ready in the morning. At first, that had been late and sometimes not at all – but now he was developing a routine. The sun would creep into his room through his single, small window and he would head down the hall to the guest bathroom, shave, shower, and brush his teeth.

Next he would make his way into the kitchen and pour himself a bowl of cereal. At first the kind hadn’t mattered, but now he had his favorites. Fruity Pebbles were for days he needed the kick of sugar to get through the morning. He had Cheerios when there was fresh fruit in the fridge he could add and only if he felt like making the effort for that extra step. Otherwise he had two bowls of Life.

Except for Sundays. On Sundays, Vision attempted breakfast. The humanoid cooked for other meals throughout the week, of course, but he only tried making breakfast on Sundays. And Bucky had to admit they were attempts. Sometimes they were delicious. Pancakes, omelets, and hash browns. Other times they were a disaster. Burned French toast, sour fruit smoothies, and green hard-boiled eggs. But Bucky found that he loved them anyway – because he was allowed to say if he didn’t like something.

Both Vision and Wanda had part-time jobs. Or, that is to say, Wanda worked stocking shelves and as a clerk at the registers at their local grocery store and actually brought in some money. Vision volunteered for various non-profits and sometimes brought in no money at all. But they were happy. Wanda liked the structure. Vision liked to help people. Money wasn’t an issue. Bucky wasn’t sure _why_ and he never asked. For a while, Bucky had thought that his presence might be a burden on the odd couple, but they assured him, quite vehemently, that he was not.

Sometimes Bucky watched TV. Other times he walked to their local library. He never got a library card – just read the books that were on the shelf and returned them to their place before leaving. He found it easier to scan real paper than computer screens. Bucky still had the credit card Tony had given him and he used it every now and then – usually for coffee, a bagel with cream cheese, or a gelato from the shop adjoining Wanda’s work. Other times, he just walked. He never _ran_.

But today was different. Bucky hadn’t been keeping track of the days and weeks since he had left the Tower, but he knew it had been quite a while. Bucky’s hair caught on his shoulders now and refused to stay straight. Some days it was wavy and manageable – but other days, like today, it curled into his face and caught on his jacket. The wind was turning it into a rat’s nest and he found himself pulling it out of his mouth and eyes every few steps. It was then that he realized how much he hated it.

Back before the war, Bucky dressed as smartly as he was able with his meager income. He kept his hair well combed and parted – slick with pomade. Since his liberation from HYDRA he hadn’t really considered his appearance. When he looked in the mirror, he didn’t recognize himself anyway. He wasn’t expecting the James Buchanan Barnes from the 1940’s, although there were still some traces of him in his reflection. His eyes were too… _different_. Frightening.

There was a shop not far from the library with a real, working barber pole. A vintage piece that had probably been placed there longer than Bucky had been alive – which was saying something. Perhaps it was the old familiarity of the symbol that persuaded Bucky to step inside. He wasn’t disappointed. A grizzled dark-skinned man with an expertly trimmed mustache was sweeping up clippings from the floor. A young boy and his father were gathering their coats and talking about stopping for ice cream next.

“Good morning, young sir. How can I help you?” The old man asked, noticing Bucky’s presence.

“It’s been… a really long time. I don’t have an appointment, but… could you cut my hair?” Bucky asked, suddenly shy.

“That _is_ what I do.” The man smiled. “Take a seat – walk-in’s are always welcome.”

Bucky took off his jacket and took a seat. The old man didn’t even blink when Bucky’s metal arm was exposed. A good sign. He was draped in a striped cloth, fastened tightly around his neck before the barber spoke again.

“So… what is it you want done?” The man prompted.

“Er… I don’t know really. Shorter. I used to part it on the side.” Bucky realized he had jumped in without much of a plan.

“Right or left?” The barber asked, unconcerned.

“Left” Bucky recalled.

“How short we talking?”

“Old fashioned, I guess you might call it. _Respectable_.” Bucky tried.

“I can work with that.” The man smiled.

Bucky tipped the man generously less than half an hour later. His eyes still didn’t look right, but he liked what he saw in the mirror for once. Bucky unconsciously walked a little taller on his way back home.

Vision was partially phased into his laptop and in a trance-like state when Bucky returned and Wanda’s car wasn’t in the driveway, which gave him enough time to clean up a bit more before seeing them both for dinner. He rinsed all the stray cut hairs away in the shower and then took a hard look at his rather pathetic wardrobe – which only consisted of faded and worn shades of blue, gray, and black.

Bucky knew it didn’t really matter what he wore. Wanda and Vision wouldn’t judge. But he suddenly had the urge for pressed slacks and a button-up rather than jeans and a holey t-shirt. Nothing too fancy, of course, but something better than what he had. But it was too late to take the bus further into town to the clothing stores or the mall. So he picked out the pants that had retained the most color and starch and a hoodie Wanda had given him when he arrived – complaining that it was too big for her. It was almost new, and was a deep burgundy color, so Bucky hadn’t ever worn it – until now.

“Wow, Bucky. You clean up nice.” Wanda said later when he emerged from his room for dinner.

“Thanks.” Bucky said bashfully.

“Oh, I had hoped you would cut that mop off your head sooner or later. Wanda instructed me not to interfere, though. I think she was rather fond of it.” Vision remarked.

“ _Thanks_ , Vee.” Wanda said sarcastically.

Bucky laughed a genuine, hearty laugh. Yes, Bucky was happy.

***---***---***

Bruce and Tony had discovered a short-haired gray tabby at the shelter that remained unfazed by almost anything. Tony named her Dizzy Reed, after the musician, but in the end they both just called her Diz. She took to the Playground as if she had always lived there. Bruce made sure that Tony introduced her to the Hulk properly, just so that there were no misunderstandings. But Bruce shouldn’t have been worried. The Hulk was ecstatic about his new roommate and very gentle. Tony said it was because he was lonely – which made Bruce feel guilty.

Somehow there were more plants in the Playground too, and when Bruce inquired about them FRIDAY said the Hulk had ordered them. Luckily, since the vegetable fiasco, there was an upper limit to how much the Hulk could order at any one time. Bruce put his foot down at six and he removed the one variety that was toxic to cats – just in case Diz decided to gnaw on it. Not that she did much besides migrate from patch of sunshine to patch of sunshine sleeping anyway.

Bruce made a habit to check on Diz every morning, even when he wasn’t spending the night in the Playground. She would rub against his leg as he made sure she had fresh water and mew softly until he bent down and gave her proper pets. This is how Steve found him that morning.

“Wow… you didn’t tell me you got a cat.” Steve said from the doorway, startling Bruce a little.

“Oh! I didn’t hear you come in. Yeah… she’s new.” Replied Bruce.

“I’ve got a mission for you.” Steve said, without further preamble.

“Really? While things are doing better with the Hulk… I don’t think I could guarantee…” Bruce began.

Steve interrupted. “No, you misunderstand. I have a mission for _you_. Recon. We need your scientific expertise.”

“ _Ah_. In that case, I’m pretty sure I’m available.” He replied brightly. “Departure time?”

“Ten minutes.”

“So soon. Who else is going?” Questioned Bruce.

“Just you and me this time. Fury is supplying a pilot.” Steve recited.

“Are we going far?”

“Congo, Africa. Pack for at least two nights. This is a favor for T’challa. I’ll give you the full brief once we are airborne. Ten minutes, Dr. Banner.” Steve repeated before heading back to the lift, already in Captain America mode. The clipped, formal tone was starting to become default for Steve, Bruce noticed. Ever since Bucky left.

“Yes, _sir_.” Bruce said, even though Steve was long gone. Diz wandered back to the nearest patch of sunshine.

Apparently the alien wreckage, corpses, and general contamination if the jungle in Wakanda from Thanos’ attacking army was just too vast to have been cleaned up quickly and easily. Some of it was appearing on the black market. Most of it was harmless – but there was a chance that some of what had not yet been recovered could become dangerous in the wrong hands. A large portion of the general debris, mainly organic, was turning up in the Congo, and the densest concentration was alarmingly close to the base of a known terrorist group.

“That’s where you come in. We examine a sample and scan the compound from the air for any potential means of refinement. The last thing we need is for them to find a way this stuff could be weaponized.” Steve explained.

“But in the tropics, organic remains degrade so quickly. How has it survived for months?” Bruce asked.

“We don’t know. Perhaps it is immune to Earth’s bacteria? It isn’t edible to the local wildlife, that much is certain. Whatever those things were made of… well, this isn’t like New York. Those aliens seemed almost like rock on the outside, but whatever existed under their shells didn’t last long enough for anyone to get a sample. This time every scrap of tissue that wasn’t burned has lingered far too long for anyone’s comfort. There are _truckloads_ of the stuff unaccounted for.” Steve supplied.

“Sounds like you’re more than just brawn, Steve. I’m impressed.” Bruce said sincerely.

Steve blushed. “It’s all speculation from T’challa, really.”

They were in a stealth plane hours later preparing for landing a safe distance from a small village close to the terrorist’s base. Everything was routine so far. No surprises.

That is until they rolled to a stop and an alarm went off in the pilot’s cabin. Steve and Bruce barely had time to wonder what had gone wrong before the first missile hit. Someone had seen them coming – and they had the firepower to silence them. A hole was ripped into the back of the plane, shearing the tail clean off. The fuel caught fire, sucking all the breathable air away with it. Then the second missile hit.

Bruce was surprised the Hulk hadn’t taken over sooner. His hands were burned from his instinctual response to cover his face, several bones possibly broken. Their pilot was dead. Steve was in a bloody heap on the floor next to him. That’s what he remembered. That’s what made the Hulk come out. And then Bruce knew no more for a long time.

***---***---***

Wanda took Bucky shopping at the mall the next day. She even took the day off work. Vision was not invited.

“What do you think?” Wanda asked, trying on a fedora and sunglasses. It actually looked rather nice, but Bucky could tell he was supposed to laugh.

“You make it work.” He answered with a smile.

Wanda smiled back. “It isn’t really my style – but thanks.”

She made Bucky try them on instead. He hated it, so he said so. Wanda laughed. “That’s what today is all about, Buck. See what works for _you_.”

Bucky had never had the money to really buy whatever he wanted. It felt strange giving in to a day of extravagance. After a while he stopped looking at every price tag. It wasn’t like he was buying anything name brand. Tony probably spent more money that day for lunch than what Bucky’s new threads cost.

His first purchases were real pants and shoes. When he finally found pairs he liked, Wanda tossed them in the cart, along with any variant colors, and they moved on to the next rack. Shirts were much harder. Everything had pictures or logos on them. Bucky did not like the idea of looking like a walking billboard. He also only looked at shirts with long sleeves at first, until Wanda convinced him that he should have some casual things to wear around the house.

They splurged on pizza from the food court and went in a couple shops just for fun. Wanda even bought a couple items – which only seemed fair. It took hours, so Bucky was relieved when it was finally time to head home.

“Before we leave, why don’t you pick out your favorites from today and put them on. I’ll do the same – we can surprise Vision when we get home.” She conspired. “We can drop off your old stuff to Goodwill tomorrow. Except for that top. It should probably go in the bin.”

Bucky looked down. A mishap with some greasy pizza sauce had definitely done it in. “Okay.” He agreed. Throwing the tattered gray thing in the trash seemed far more significant than it should have been.

He emerged from the mall’s restroom to appreciative ‘ _ooos’_ and ‘ _awws’_ from Wanda. They piled into her car and chattered in a friendly way for the few minutes it took to drive back to the house. But upon arriving their conversation stopped. There was a car parked outside - an expensive looking, shiny, cherry red convertible. Bucky only knew one person that it could belong to.

Was Tony angry? Bucky looked down at himself. Maybe he should have paid better attention to the receipts. For Tony to come and berate him in person though… he’d obviously done something very wrong. Wanda looked a little pale herself, but they just shared worried looks before gathering up their bags and heading inside.

 _Time to face the music_ , Bucky thought.

Tony and Vision were sitting on the couch waiting for them. The expressions on both their faces made it clear pretty quickly that whatever was going on was much bigger than just a minor shopping spree.

“What is it, Vee?” Wanda asked. She was sporting a new pale blue blouse with puffy short sleeves. Bucky thought she looked beautiful.

Vision just shook his head.

“It would probably be best if you both sat down first.” Answered Tony.

Wanda and Bucky dropped their bags by the front door and hurried to take a seat. Bucky’s stomach began to roil – he could taste bile. Something was very, _very_ wrong.

“You’re looking good, Buck.” Tony said kindly – but Bucky couldn’t find the strength to reply.

“ _Tony_.” Wanda pleaded.

Tony took a deep breath before answering. “Steve and Bruce flew to the Congo on a recon mission yesterday. Upon landing, their plane was hit. The Hulk made short work of the attackers – along with more than half of the alleged terrorist organization they were supposed to be observing. Natasha happened to be closest and she eventually subdued him enough to fall back – but Bruce hasn’t re-emerged. We don’t know why. As for Steve… he… he was rushed to Wakanda as soon as they could get to him. He’s in bad shape.”

Bucky felt his blood turn to ice.

“Oh my God.” Wanda held her hands up to her mouth.

“Can we see him?” Bucky found he had asked this in a voice he hardly recognized – gravely and harsh.

“I’m here to pick you up.” Tony answered.

Bucky stood.

“Woah there, Buck-a-roo.” Responded Tony in an attempt at calm. “Pack for a long trip. T’challa is inviting us to stay indefinitely. If Steve pulls through – it might take a while before he wakes up. Even with the serum, he’s going to need time.”

Wanda stood as well. “I’ll go collect a few things then.”

Bucky found himself in his room without remembering having walked there. Tony and Vision’s hushed voices could still be heard from the front room – but they might as well have been miles away. Steve was hurt. Bucky had left and Steve had been hurt.

Bucky tore off the new button down shirt roughly. There was a dusty blue shirt buried in the closet that had seen better days that had once belonged to Steve. Bucky put it on instead along with his old jacket. For the second time that day, such a simple act seemed to carry so much weight.


	8. Chapter 8

Pepper Potts was thinking about sending Dr. Fields a gift basket. While she loved her job, she hadn’t realized how much she needed to get away until she was three days into her sabbatical and discovered she didn’t actually _have_ to get up from her plush hotel room bed at 5:30 in the morning. In fact, nothing was stopping her from ordering room service, wearing the complementary fluffy robe all morning, and scheduling a massage at the spa on the fourth floor for that afternoon. She could appreciate the majesty of Dubai tomorrow. Or the day after that.

Weeks turned into months as she migrated to Istanbul, Santorini, Rome, and Barcelona. On her flight to Morocco she got a message from FRIDAY. Her first instinct was to ignore it – as it might be a ploy from Tony to reel her back in. But the more she thought about it, the less sense that made. At first she thought about Tony every day and expected him to call or fly through an open window and disturb her at any moment. Eventually, when this never happened, she began to forget about him. And while she could chalk this up as personal success – she did still want to be friends.

“What’s up, FRIDAY?” She called the AI directly.

“Miss Potts. I do hope your sabbatical has been a pleasurable experience.” Began FRIDAY, polite as ever.

“It’s been divine. Jones has been sending me regular updates – things seem to be going well at headquarters in my absence. Unless I’ve missed something?” Pepper suggested.

“Stark Industries has been performing optimally with Mr. Jones in temporary command. I called to inform you about another matter. My social interaction subroutines picked up an anomaly regarding the correct response to a recent occurrence of a failed Avenger’s mission and my directions not to contact you save for situations that would enact emergency protocols.” FRIDAY’s cool voice recited.

“Oh, God. Is Tony okay?” Pepper got a lump in her throat.

“Mr. Stark was not involved. However, both Captain Steve Rogers and Dr. Bruce Banner sustained significant injuries. Given that this tragedy has hurt Mr. Stark emotionally, and since my records indicate you have a friendship with both of the affected team members – I have decided to override the previous parameters to give you this update and inquire on how to proceed.” Continued the AI.

“Steve and Bruce? _Damn it_.” Pepper tried to translate what FRIDAY meant by ‘an anomaly in Mr. Stark’s response’. “I’m glad you called me. Of course I want to know when my friends are hurt. What can you tell me about their condition?”

FRIDAY answered automatically. “Both members are currently being treated in Wakanda. Mr. Stark has not synced with me since his arrival there two point three hours ago. But the initial report stated that Steve Rogers was unconscious and in critical condition while Dr. Banner transformed into the Hulk – leaving a significant swath of destruction in his wake. But both are considered to be out of immediate danger.”

Pepper thought for a moment of cancelling her stay in Rabat and booking another flight. But no – what help could she be? Instead, she decided she needed more data. “FRIDAY, transfer me to Tony’s personal cell.”

“Right away, Miss Potts.” It didn’t take long for Tony to answer.

“Pepper?” Tony sounded confused.

“Hey, Tony. Good to hear your voice. FRIDAY told me about Steve and Bruce. Don’t be mad at her.”

There were muffled sounds as if Tony was relocating to a better place to talk. “I was going to tell you… I mean, eventually… I just hadn’t quite thought that far ahead yet.” He admitted. And for Tony, a bonafide genius, this was a big deal.

“Are you free to talk? How are they?” Asked Pepper.

“I’m with… the Hulk, actually. He’s sulking. At least, I think that’s what this is.” Tony whispered.

“The Hulk? Where’s Bruce? FRIDAY said they were out of danger.” Pepper pressed.

Tony sighed. “They are now, yes. If they were normal humans they would be dead. But being enhanced and all, they are only half-dead in Steve’s case – and being physically held together by their angry alter-egos, in Bruce’s case.”

“I don’t understand. Won’t they heal?”

“All indications are that they will, yes. The Hulk has an absurdly high pain tolerance, apparently. Bruce probably got banged up quite a bit before the Big Guy came out to play – although how that is even possible, I have no idea – seeing that the Hulk can stop bullets.” Tony mused darkly.

Pepper took a moment to reply. As usual when conversing with Tony, she had to filter out what she didn’t understand and focus only on what she did. “So they are recovering. That’s good news.”

“Yes and no. We are in uncharted waters with both of them. But now that they are here in Wakanda – they are receiving the best of care, of that I’m certain.” Replied Tony.

“I’m sure they are. But… is there anything I can do to help? PR? Clean-up?” Pepper asked.

Tony’s reply was whispered even more quietly. “FRIDAY already deleted any footage of the Hulk that she could track down. Thank God it was nighttime and the quality was garbage, just in case anything got through. I’m more worried about Bruce beating himself up about Hulk’s increased body count when he comes back. Whatever Cap and Bruce were investigating – well, there isn’t any need for that anymore.”

“ _Oh_.” Pepper understood that, at least.

“Metal Man leave Hulk!?” came a roar in the background.

“No, no, no! I’m still here, buddy. See? I’m just talking with Pepper. Do you remember her?” Pepper could hear Tony explain. A few more muffled words were exchanged before he returned.

“Sorry about that. Natasha was the one who brought him in. He’s still… _upset_ about it.”

Pepper was confused again. She had thought with how much Tony liked to talk that he had told her _too much_ about his life in the Avengers – more than she wanted to know at the time anyway. Now she was suspecting this wasn’t the case. “Why is that? I thought Bruce and Natasha got along great.”

“ _Peps_. Bruce had feelings for Natasha. You remember our hypothetical scenario about a co-worker a few months ago? And then Bruce came out to all of us? _Yeah_ … the Hulk doesn’t share Bruce’s feelings on the subject. Do try and keep up.” Tony’s voice was a little tight.

Pepper ignored this. “Do they even have a safe place to contain the Hulk in Wakanda?”

“Contain him!? Pepper, _please_.” Tony hissed back.

“ _Woah_. Okay. Obviously I’ve said the wrong thing. What I meant is if Bruce isn’t coming back soon, there is still some danger. Last I remember, an angry Hulk wasn’t something to sniff at.” Pepper backtracked.

Tony laughed. But he sounded a bit like he was crying. “I just got done with this exact conversation with like… three other people. Attempting to control him just makes everything worse! Give him a choice to escape or a friend who he trusts – and he turns into a giant teddy bear. Treat him like a monster and that’s what you’ll have instead.”

Pepper was still skeptical. “I trust Bruce. I’m not so sure on the Hulk. So please tell me you are at least being _careful_. Last I checked, _you_ aren’t enhanced to take a death blow.”

“I’ve got the Hulk Buster here already, if that helps. But I haven’t even needed to power it up, Peps. The Hulk keeps asking about Cap and insisting that he is stronger than the Bad Guys. He’s… _over-excited_ perhaps, but not dangerous. And he’s… _limping_. It’s a bit much…” Tony drifted off.

“Okay. I’ll back down. I’m sorry.” Pepper apologized.

Tony just sighed in obvious relief.

“Hey… I mean it. I’m sorry. And I’m sorry I can’t do more to help you through all of this. But since I’ve been away… Tony, your world is just too big for me. I’m good at what I do. And it’s _normal_. I’ve forgotten how much I like that.” Pepper admitted.

“Dr. Fields talked with me, you know. Told me that we needed this. To be apart for a while.” Tony confessed. “He asked me not to call you.”

“This time, _I_ called _you_ , Tony.”

“Yeah… and I think that’s what Dr. Fields was trying to get me to see. I’m sorry I didn’t give you any space.” Continued Tony.

Pepper was stunned. “Thank you, Tony. That means a lot. But you _can_ call me next time our friends are in trouble.”

“Okay, Peps.” Tony sounded a little better.

“And I still care about _you_ too, you know. I was hoping without me around you would lean more on the team for support. Or even find someone new to share your life with. I still want you to be happy, Tony.” Pepper revealed.

Tony made a sound halfway between a sigh and a snicker. “You aren’t easy to replace, Pep.”

“Good.” Pepper couldn’t help but preen a little at the thought. “But, I _need_ to be replaced Tony. Don’t go without because we couldn’t make things work.”

“I never ‘ _go without_ ’. You’ve seen my toy closet.” Tony teased.

“Not what I meant, Tony.” But Pepper couldn’t help but laugh.

“I know. Working with Bruce and the Hulk… it’s helped. We’ve… _talked_.” Suggested Tony.

Pepper raised her eyebrows, even though Tony couldn’t see. “Ah, I see.”

“Yeah…”

Suddenly Tony’s defensiveness of the Hulk made more sense. Pepper was more than a little alarmed by this revelation – how could she not be? But it made a strange sort of sense, too.

“You’ve talked with… _both_ of them?” Pepper asked.

Tony took his time in replying. “Not _the_ talk. But yes.”

Neither of them spoke for a bit, letting that thought linger.

“Is everyone there? The rest of the team – in Wakanda, I mean.” Pepper diverted.

“Most everyone. Peter, Clint, and Rhodey are keeping watch in New York. And Dr. Strange is MIA, but that isn’t out of the ordinary.” Replied Tony.

“Even Thor?” Pepper remembered that he was still supposed to be in South America somewhere.

“Especially Thor. He knows some Asgardian medicine that might help Steve. He calls it basic triage skills, but it isn’t like anything we have. Bruce would have loved to have seen that.” Tony mused.

Pepper needed time to think. “I’m… _happy_ for you, Tony. Know that.”

“Thanks, Pepper.”

“I’m hanging up now. But call me if anything changes with Bruce or Steve. Or if I can help.” Pepper finished.

Pepper could almost hear the smile in Tony’s voice. “Will do.”

***---***---***

Bucky doesn’t remember much about the flight to Wakanda. He recalls the place fondly, save for when Thanos’ minions attacked. But he doesn’t feel glad for the return. Not under such circumstances.

_Bucky left and Steve got hurt._

Scott and Sam are on Stark’s jet too, but besides a friendly wave – they don’t really interact. Bucky is still in shock. Wanda and Vision fussed over seating arrangements and prompted him to put on his seatbelt.

_Bucky left and Steve got hurt._

Steve had seemed invincible back during the war. He wasn’t bullet-proof, as became painfully obvious on more than one occasion, but he never fell down. That was Steve through and through – he never stayed down. The impossible thought that Steve might not make it this time – Bucky had never seriously considered it before. Because he had always been there to watch Steve’s six.

_Bucky left and Steve got hurt._

This became a mantra, repeating over and over again. Soon enough they were getting off the jet. Hours must have passed, but Bucky barely noticed. Wanda and Vision kept looking at him with concern. He didn’t look twice at anything – that is until he was led into a room with a bed.

On the bed, there was Steve.

Somehow, he looked so much like the little shrimp of a kid Bucky used to arm-wrestle on wooden crates in cluttered alleyways back before the war. To build up Steve’s arms, Bucky claimed. Sometimes he even let Steve win. How else was Steve going to stand up against those bullies? Steve’s mom couldn’t afford a doctor. What if next time Steve got really hurt? Not just a split lip or a black eye.

This Steve had strong arms, but they were covered in bandages. Burns, Bucky realized – as most of the hair on Steve’s head was either missing or black and curling from being singed. Both of his eyes were bruised purple. The skin on his face looked pink and sore. Someone pushed Bucky into a chair. He didn’t resist. But he couldn’t look away. People were talking to him, but he couldn’t hear.

_Bucky left and Steve got hurt._

He had left before. Drafted. It hadn’t been his choice – even if he had wanted to go at first. Before he knew what war really was. Before he knew pain and death. And then Steve rescued him. Things were almost like they were before – at least in the ways that mattered. They were together. Steve was stronger, but Bucky was always right there beside him.

He left a second time, at peace in some strange way as he fell from the train. Steve was stronger now, with strong friends to keep him from any trouble. Steve would be okay.

But the pain didn’t stop as he had expected upon landing. He couldn’t remember Steve for a long, long time after the fall. Sometimes his mind was awake enough for him to realize that he couldn't have always been a simple tool – a weapon stored on ice. But those times were rare, and nothing ever came from the thought anyway.

That is until Steve, incredibly, came back and rescued him again. It didn’t matter that Steve had to start from nothing. Steve had to give Bucky his own name back to him. Nothing that Bucky was he didn’t owe to Steve. Nothing.

_Yet Bucky had still left, and Steve got hurt._

Bucky had no way of knowing exactly how long he had been sitting there next to Steve’s immobile form. It might have been only a few minutes, or it might have been hours. But then another face appeared. A face from another life – another time.

“Bucky. You need to eat and rest.” Natasha was looking him right in the eye and talking very slowly and in a tone that left no room for argument.

“Steve…” Bucky tried to protest.

“He will still be here when you get back. They are keeping him asleep so he can heal, Buck.” Her commanding voice cut in.

Bucky finally looked away from Steve’s bed. It took a moment for his mind to catch up. Yes, his body was aching with fatigue. He needed to eat. He needed to piss.

“Okay.” He croaked out. Natasha led him out of the room with a gentle hand on his back.

It was only later that he remembered that Steve’s enhanced metabolism was probably too aggressive for such drugs to work very well – if at all. It had been a white lie. A kind lie – from a friend.

***---***---***

The next day Bucky was coherent again – the shock had worn off. After his mental _freak-out_ the day before, he actually felt strangely calm. Serene. He still felt a little guilty, but after the situation had been explained to him, he realized there wasn’t anything he could have done even if he had been there. But that didn’t mean he was _ever_ going to leave his friend so easily again.

Despite whatever feelings Steve might have for him.

“You still look like _shit_ , but at least your eyes aren’t glazed over.” Sam said as Bucky re-entered Steve’s room. The other Avengers must have been taking turns sitting with him.

“I guess I just… wasn’t ready for this.” Bucky replied. “ _Funny_ , right… after all the blood I’ve seen…”

“No, _not_ funny. Nothing about any of that is funny.” Sam corrected. “But I’m glad you’re doing better.”

Bucky nodded.

“Wanda is coming by soon – but, if… you know… you might want a moment alone. I can go grab a drink.” Sam suggested kindly.

Not that there would be any point, really. Steve looked almost identical to how he had the day before – sleeping or otherwise unconscious. But Bucky said, “Yeah. Thanks.”

Sam got up and left. Bucky took his seat and looked around. Wherever they were, it was not a normal hospital – even by crazy future standards. Most of the walls were dark blue or black stone for one thing. Holo-screens projected ever changing lines and numbers that Bucky didn’t understand, but he presumed they were monitors of some kind. Machines that proved Steve was still alive.

“Hey, Steve. Sorry… sorry I wasn’t there with you.” Bucky started. Talking out loud seemed to help, even if he wasn’t going to get a response. “I know I probably just would have found myself in a bed next to you – but still… it’s my job, Steve. Always has been.”

Bucky hoped there wasn’t any cameras on – but he suspected there might be, so he lowered his voice to a whisper. “My leaving… I was being selfish, Steve. Didn’t consider that you were as tied to me as I am to you. I didn’t want… I hope I didn’t hurt you.”

All of this he would have to repeat later, Bucky knew. But it felt good to say them anyway.

One of Steve’s hands were relatively undamaged and free of bandages. Bucky held onto it until Wanda and Sam appeared in the doorway together.

“Hey, Buck.” She said softly.

“Hey.”

“The doctors said he’s got a hell of a concussion – but that it is healing. Quickly too. Steve will wake up soon.” Sam provided.

“That’s good.” Bucky smiled a sad smile.

But their peace and quiet was interrupted by a rather breathless Tony Stark bursting in at a brisk pace.

“Anyone see where the Hulk went? Anyone?” Tony asked in a near shout.

Sam and Wanda exchanged wary glances, but they didn’t reply.

“He isn’t in here, Tony.” Bucky answered.

Tony was about to leave again, on to the next room, when he stopped suddenly. Tony’s eyes seemed to register that the man lying in the bed was Steve for the first time.

“ _Oh_ …” Tony said.

No one spoke for a moment.

“Glad you found time to stop by, _Tony_.” Wanda said, perhaps with a bit too much venom.

“Hulk wrangling. But… yeah… I sh-should have stopped in sooner.” Tony said humbly, stuttering.

For once, Bucky didn’t feel any guilt about the schism he had caused among the Avengers. Instead, he just felt sad. Sad and strangely confident.

“Come sit with him for a bit, Tony. We will help track down Bruce.” Bucky found himself offering, getting up from the chair. Sam and Wanda looked at him in shock.

“Um… I’m not sure… I mean… I don’t…” Tony blabbered. “Not Bruce… the Hulk.”

“What’s the difference?” Bucky asked, rhetorically. And it was this, perhaps, that convinced Tony to stay.

Bucky led Wanda and Sam out of the room. Once they were safely in the hallway, both of them turned on him.

“What the _hell_ , Bucky?” Wanda sounded upset. “First you refuse to leave Steve’s side and now you’re offering your place to… _Tony_?”

“Wanda, if you wanted to – with your power, you could find the Hulk, put him to sleep, and magically sail him off to some remote island before Tony even makes it back up all those stairs. Give him a break. He needs this. Just like I needed it.” Bucky nodded in appreciation to Sam. He then added, “We’re still all on the same side.”

Wanda looked at him skeptically. “The Hulk is two floors _below_ us, raiding some kind of pantry so far as I can tell. As for the rest – do it yourself.”

“Why don’t I just go tell some of T’Challa’s people so that the Hulk doesn’t kill anybody?” Sam offered, seeming to be in a hurry to leave the conversation.

“Stick with him. We will send Tony your way when he’s done.” Bucky answered.

Sam nodded and left.

Finding themselves alone, Wanda looked expectantly at Bucky – crossing her arms and tapping her fingers on her shoulders.

“He’s just a man, Wanda. Flaws, checkered-past and all. Just like me. You don’t have to like him. But he isn’t the bad guy.”

“I know that.” Wanda said, defiantly.

“Then treat us the same. You have a kind heart, Wanda.” Bucky pleaded.

At this, she deflated. She didn’t reply immediately. But then she nodded.

“Hey… Vision is just loving this place. I’m going to go see what he’s up to, okay?” She finally spoke, this time sounding contrite.

“Okay.” Bucky nodded. It was a start at least.

And with that, Wanda left too.

Surprisingly, Tony stayed in the room with Steve for nearly an hour. Bucky, respectfully kept to the hall until Tony re-emerged.

“Thanks.” Was all Tony said upon seeing Bucky.

“You’re welcome.” Bucky answered, just as sincere.

“By now the Hulk has probably chewed up the whole castle.” Tony tried to joke, but it fell flat.

“Sam is with him. We’re still a team. He’s got this.” Bucky stated.

Tony nodded somberly. “I’ll _try_ to keep that in mind. Oh… and I’ll be taking the Hulk back to the Tower. Not that I don’t want to be here for Steve… it’s just…” He trailed off.

“Take him home, Tony. It’s okay.” Replied Bucky.

“Thanks.” Tony said again – looking Bucky in the eyes this time.

Yes, Bucky though. It was a start.

***---***---***

Bruce awoke lying on the floor in the Playground to Diz licking his forehead. It took a while to process this. The last thing he remembered was fire and pain. And Steve… where was Steve?

He slowly got up from his sprawled position, completely naked as per usual, and tried to better establish his bearings. It was dark outside the window – probably nighttime. Nothing was significantly different in the Playground from how he had left it… how long ago now?

“FRIDAY, how long was I out?” Bruce asked.

“Welcome back, Dr. Banner. I estimate that the Hulk was in control for approximately five days. Although both of you returned to the Tower two days ago.” The AI recited.

Bruce stumbled into the bedroom, looking for clothes. After pulling on the first things he found, Diz demanded he check her food and water. They were both full.

“Where is everyone?” Bruce finally asked – a little bit scared to hear the answer.

But instead of answering, FRIDAY was interrupted by Tony dashing in to the Playground from the lift – also wearing what was most likely the first things he could find. He looked like he had been fast asleep not more than a minute ago - if the state of his hair was anything to go by.

“Bruce! I’m so glad to see you!” Tony embraced him, which _was_ unusual.

“Tony, what happened?” Bruce demanded – hugging back.

Tony released him and grimaced. “Those _motherfuckers_ used missiles on your plane right after touchdown so the onboard computer couldn’t evade. I don’t think there is any doubt that they were hiding something.”

Bruce translated this to be Tony trying to avoid what Bruce most wanted to know. “The Hulk killed them, didn’t he?”

Tony nodded. “T’challa filled us in on your mission brief. There was definitely something shady going on, Bruce.”

“Yes, but there was a village nearby. _All_ of them weren’t terrorists. How many?” Bruce asked again, holding his breath.

Tony shook his head this time. “Bruce… you don’t want to know.”

“Yes I do!” Bruce insisted.

It took a few seconds for Tony to reply. Both of them knew the truth couldn’t hide forever. “Most of this is speculation, but… the Hulk took out the trucks that were hidden in the trees first. Probably because they starting shooting at him. Then, he made his way to the base – but he went through the village to get there. Several people who stupidly opposed him with guns were killed. Some of them could have been innocent – protecting their homes from what to them might have looked like the threat of a wild animal from the jungle. Or, they might have known about the terrorists’ plot and wanted to score points with them by picking off any stragglers. I didn’t stop and ask – and we aren’t going to. There are no records of the Hulk’s appearance in the Congo. Not anymore.”

Bruce let this sink in before he continued. “And the terrorists’ base?”

“Demolished. The only reason there were any survivors is because Natasha was in Somalia following similar leads. She got a call from Fury and arrived in time to… _distract_ the Hulk enough from his task that he eventually pursued her until T’Challa’s people could get there. They took you and Steve to Wakanda.”

Diz rubbed against Bruce’s ankles, as if nothing was the matter at all. Bruce wanted to scream at her to run away. He must _reek_ of death.

“And what about Steve?” Bruce finally asked, his voice shaking.

“Still recovering. Unconscious. Head trauma, burns, and a broken femur. _None_ of it inflicted by the Hulk.” Tony stressed the last part.

Bruce began to cry. He couldn’t help it.

Tony embraced him again. Awkwardly at first, but when Bruce clung onto him to keep standing, it became firm and warm. They stayed like that for a while, waiting for Bruce to regain himself.

Not the Hulk’s best episode – but _certainly_ not the worst, either.

After a few more minutes of silence, Bruce asked a different question. “Why did it take so long for me to revert back? Why am I in the Tower?”

“The Hulk wanted to go home, Bruce. He missed Dizzy. And if you don’t believe me, the cameras in Wakanda caught the whole exchange. I asked T’challa for a copy.” Answered Tony.

Bruce looked down at the cat that was still waiting for pets at their feet.

“Oh.” Bruce managed over the lump in his throat.

Tony sighed. “That’s all you’re going to say? And here I was preparing to force you to watch it…”

“I believe you, Tony.” Bruce clarified.

Tony smiled.

“But… five days? He didn’t hurt anyone in Wakanda, did he? Did they provoke him somehow or…” Bruce began.

“ _Woah, woah, woah._ No.” Tony interrupted. “If Captain America was hurt that bad, you really think you fared much better? I’ve never seen the Hulk wounded before, Bruce. That is until about three days ago. I don’t know why or how, but he stayed in Hulk-mode so that _you_ would heal faster. He was in constant pain. I had FRIDAY notify me immediately when you came back to us because I was worried you might still need medical attention.”

Bruce hadn’t even considered it – since he hadn’t needed to worry about even the possibility in years. He looked down at himself. His arms still looked pink and stung as if he had a sunburn – but nothing serious. No more broken bones. No burst ear drums from the blast. No head trauma. “I’m… _fine_.”

“Good. That means Steve probably won’t be far behind you.” Tony said, trying to lift the mood.

Bruce nodded hopefully. “Tony… thank you for bringing the Hulk back safe. But… I feel like we need to go back to Wakanda.”

Tony sighed. “Can we at least wait until tomorrow?” It was still the middle of the night, Bruce remembered.

“Yeah… I guess that’s soon enough.” Then Bruce finally bent down to pet his cat.


	9. Chapter 9

After Tony left, Bucky stayed at Steve’s side more often than not. Other team members came and went – sometimes conversing with him, other times they sat in silence. Even Clint stopped in, since Iron Man could again take up the responsibility of protecting Earth from the Tower. Steve’s burns were all healed, as if they had never happened. But the terrible bruising around his eyes was a little slower to clear up. When Bucky asked about it, however, no one gave him a straight answer.

The foremost expert on how someone with the Super Soldier serum might react when healing brain trauma was currently buried inside a giant green rage monster, otherwise Bucky might have called him. Bucky himself was a prime example that the mind – even one belonging to an enhanced body – could still be altered. What if Steve woke up and he wasn’t the same? Bucky shuddered at the thought.

Strangely enough, it was Vision that detected a change in Steve first.

“His breathing has changed.” Vision stated.

“What?” Bucky asked, waking from his dark musings.

Vision clarified. “Steve’s taking larger, deeper breaths. He might be coming out of it.”

Bucky sat up straighter and took Steve’s hand in his own – searching his friend’s face for the smallest change. It took a few more seconds, but soon Steve’s eyelids fluttered. Then Steve shifted his head slightly, nodding away from Bucky and towards the door. Bucky kept holding his breath.

The machines must have alerted the doctors, and they in turn must have gathered up who they could with the good news of a change in Steve’s condition. Wanda, Clint, and Sam joined them in a matter of moments – although Bucky was grateful they didn’t crowd around Steve’s bed.

“Steve, you’ve been asleep for a long time, buddy. Nap time is over.” Bucky whispered.

Steve smiled slightly with his eyes shut. Had he heard him?

“I bet you’re hungry. We should have some breakfast, don’t you think? You get all ornery when you haven’t eaten.” Bucky continued, teasing Steve to mask his apprehension.

“No… that’s _you_ , Buck.” Steve whispered back as he finally opened his eyes.

Bucky felt his eyes grow hot with unshed tears as Steve’s familiar blue eyes finally looked him over. Steve was awake!

“Steve, you’re back!” Sam said excitedly.

“Took you long enough, Cap.” Clint teased.

Steve turned to look at his friends and his smile faded. His face was blank for a few seconds and then it was filled with confusion. “ _Uh_ … wa’s going on? Where…?”

“Shhh. It’s okay, Steve. You got hurt. But everything is going to be okay now. We’re in Wakanda.” Bucky tried to soothe.

Steve looked back to Bucky, but his confusion didn’t disappear. “Buck… what’s going on? Where is everyone?”

“Thor, Nat and Scott are probably around here somewhere, they will be along. Tony and Bruce are back in New York.” Answered Bucky.

Steve just shook his head. “I don’t… understand. You’re… not making sense.”

Bucky looked at his friends in worry. Something was wrong.

A Wakandan Doctor stepped in, gently pushing Bucky aside. “I assure you we don’t mean you any harm. Can you tell me your name?”

Steve didn’t answer right away so the Doctor repeated the question.

“Steven… Steve Rogers.” He uttered, looking about the room nervously.

“That’s good! It’s normal for someone in your condition to have some trouble adjusting. But you are safe here, Steve. All of us here are your friends.” The Doctor continued in a soft voice. “What is the last thing you remember?”

Steve’s face contorted with concentration. “Bombs… gunfire. There was… a war. A battle maybe?”

Bucky’s heart sank. Was there something wrong with Steve’s memory?

“How about a different question – where are you from, Steve?” The Doctor asked instead, giving no indication that Steve might have answered incorrectly.

Another pause, but a shorter one. “Brooklyn. New York.”

“That’s good, Steve. You and I have never official met before today, but I’m sure there are some faces here that you recognize. Like this man, sitting beside you?” The Doctor asked, pointing to Bucky.

“Bucky.” Steve answered almost immediately. “Buck… but… you look _different_.”

“It’s still me, Steve. I promise.” Bucky assured his friend.

“Steve, do you know what year it is?” The Doctor asked.

Steve didn’t answer. He looked away from Bucky and towards Clint, Sam, Wanda, and Vision. They looked frightened. There was some recognition there, but it was faint. “What’s wrong with me?” He asked instead, his breathing becoming erratic.

“You got smacked across the head real hard. I promise, it’s normal to be confused for a while, Steve. Give yourself some time. And try to relax.” Prompted the Doctor.

This last statement had the opposite effect it had intended. Steve shook his head and tried to get out of the bed. Bucky only just managed to pull him back – holding him in a bear hug. “Woah, there Steve. You’re still pretty banged up. Not so fast.” But Steve struggled against him.

“Something’s wrong, Buck. Let me go!” Steve insisted.

“Doc…?” Sam began, probably asking for permission to step in and help.

“Steve, please! Please just wait. Stay here with me. _Please_.” Bucky heard himself beg.

Whether it was Bucky’s words or the desperate tone of his voice Steve responded to, he wasn’t sure. But Steve stopped struggling.

“Stay with me, Steve.” Bucky said again, slowly releasing his hold.

“Bucky. There is just so much… in my head. _Too_ much. Some of it doesn’t seem… _real_.” Steve admitted.

Bucky brought out a fake smile. “You _have_ had some pretty crazy adventures.”

Steve kept shaking his head. “It’s all _foggy_ – like looking through coke bottles.” Suddenly Steve smiled. “Remember when we used to do that, Buck? Pretending we were spies or astronomers.” But his smile suddenly wilted. “That was real, right?”

“Yes, Steve. That was real.” Bucky’s smile was genuine this time.

Steve’s smile returned. But then he did something that Bucky wasn’t expecting. Steve kissed his cheek. It was a quick, gentle peck – nothing more. But Steve had never kissed him before. _Never_.

Something about Bucky’s response must have shattered Steve’s brief moment of happiness. “ _Oh_ … that… wasn’t right, was it?” Steve looked worried – embarrassed. “I’m sorry, Buck… it just felt…”

“Don’t be sorry, Steve. _Please_.” Bucky found himself say.

Clint cleared his throat. “Maybe it would be a good idea for us to wait outside.”

The Doctor agreed – herding the rest of the Team out the door.

***---***---***

Bruce and Tony got the news that Steve had awoken early the next morning – and in turn, Bruce spent a long time on the phone talking with the Wakandan doctors about Steve’s injuries. Tony had been trying in vain to get Bruce to swap from the holo-screen to a standard Stark Mobile so that they could drive to one of Tony’s many private jets. He complained loudly that it had been Bruce who had been so eager to return to Wakanda the night before. But they were both interrupted by Dr. Strange.

“ _Oh_ … is now a bad time?” Dr. Strange asked stopping in the entrance of Lab #2. His hair was strangely disheveled – and smoking? The Wakandan doctor had asked Bruce a question, but he hadn’t heard the question.

“I better call you back.” Bruce said, ending the call abruptly.

“What happened to you?” Tony asked, equally alarmed by the sometimes-Avenger’s sudden appearance.

Dr. Strange brushed some ash from one of his shoulders while his cape dusted the other one. “Inter-dimensional emergency. But it’s all settled now.”

“Uh… can I get you a drink?” Tony offered after some delay.

“Water would be _most_ appreciated.” Dr. Strange said quite dryly, in a literal sense.

Tony shooed DUMM-E off to attend to their guest – that was at least one task the little bot was semi-proficient at accomplishing.

“Where were you?” Bruce asked, looking Dr. Strange over for any signs of injury. There was none.

Dr. Strange shook his head. “ _That_ would take too long to explain. I’m just dropping in… apparently, to see what I’ve missed while I was gone.” He accepted a glass from DUMM-E.

It took a while for Tony and Bruce to fill him in on everything. Having traveled inter-dimensionally themselves – albeit only once – they could tell Dr. Strange was re-orienting himself with reality. After a few minutes the… _smoking_ stopped all on its own.

“I see. I was gone longer than I anticipated. I apologize if my absence in any way exacerbated your situation, Dr. Banner.” Dr. Strange said formally.

“Not at all.” Bruce replied, politely. “Tony and I are flying to Wakanda soon to see Steve.”

“Cancel your flight. I can have you there in seconds.” Dr. Strange offered.

Bruce looked at Tony, who just shrugged.

“You know, maybe you _can_ help. It seems that while Steve has finally awoken, his memory has become… _foggy_.” Bruce suggested. “And from what I understand, while this isn’t unusual in cases involving head trauma – it is unclear if everything is okay. I mean… he and I got hit with the same blasts, we are both enhanced by variations of the serum, but he seems to be recovering much slower. In fact, this is really more _your_ arena than mine.”

“Thank you for the refreshment – and for the news. It isn’t so uncommon for different people to come away with differing injuries, even ranging wildly in severity, from similar circumstances. I'm so glad you are doing well. But perhaps we better get going right away? We can check up on our fearless leader together, Dr. Banner.” Dr. Strange replied, graciously.

Bruce nodded.

“ _Uh_ … okay. Let me just make a quick call.” Tony fished out his phone.

Traveling via one of Dr. Strange’s portals was a unique experience – far preferable to anything Bruce had endured before. Basically, he felt nothing at all – save for the need to pop his ears with the sudden change of air pressure. Mere seconds later they were strolling up to T’challa’s front door. Thankfully, the warrior women guards recognized Tony Stark well enough to know the trio weren’t a new alien threat – and eventually they were guided down to Steve’s room.

Vision and Wanda were standing sentinel in the hallway, looking worried.

“Hey, guys! I’m glad you’re here. How is he?” Bruce asked quietly.

“Welcome back, Bruce.” Wanda said in return with a small, sad smile. Bruce didn’t know what to make of that. She had probably last encountered him as the Hulk, he figured, so he let it drop.

“Steve seems to need a lot of reassurance that what he remembers actually happened. He doesn’t remember things incorrectly – it’s just that his memories are all jumbled, the correct order of events and how they relate to each other is… _broken_.” Vision supplied, in an equally hushed tone.

“Implying that their still exists some damage to his Basal Forebrain.” Dr. Strange diagnosed. “Scans?”

“The doctors have run several… but you would probably need explicit permission from Steve to access them.” Replied Vision, a tad gloomily. “I’ve already asked.”

This surprised Bruce, as Vision seemed to be implying that someone had stupidly denied his request to help. Bruce had been on the phone with Steve’s doctors all morning as a consultant – a loop-hole in doctor/patient confidentiality agreement. They probably wouldn’t deny Dr. Strange access either, since he was still registered as a Neural Surgeon. “Er… don’t feel _too_ bad, Viz. We’ve come to help.” Bruce offered weakly, while internally cursing the pitfalls of medical bureaucracy.

“Can we see him?” Tony asked, with only a little trepidation.

“Best to go in one at a time. He gets overwhelmed by crowds.” Wanda urged. “Bucky’s with him.”

Both Bruce and Tony stepped back – to let the expert go first. Dr. Strange didn’t hesitate.

Once the door was closed again, the atmosphere in the hallway was rather tense and no one talked for a bit. Bruce feeling guilty that he had been given knowledge where Vision had been left out – Tony and Wanda back to basically ignoring each other. But word of their return to Wakanda spread fast, prompting the rest of the Avengers to find their way to just outside Steve’s room. Sam, Scott, Natasha, Clint, and Thor interrupted the silence with greetings and small talk conducted in soft, respectful voices. (Except for Thor, as usual.)

Bruce formally thanked Natasha for her help in stopping the Hulk’s rampage. It was a relief to see her unscathed, even if that was all he felt towards her anymore. She just shrugged it off, but her smile was genuine.

Clint accused Tony of leaving the Tower – and therefore the fate of the world – in the hands of a teenager. But Tony took this in stride. Peter had Rhodey and FRIDAY to back him up – and they weren’t going to be gone long anyway. Dr. Strange would teleport them home after they saw Steve.

When Bruce found himself alone again with Tony, he brought up as subtly as possible the beginnings of a plan to get Vision’s knowledge accredited into the appropriate degrees and licenses. Corners would have to be cut, of course. But Tony could do it – of that Bruce was certain. Vision included parts of each of them in his making, after all. Seemed only right that they look out for him.

The door finally opened, but it wasn’t Dr. Strange who emerged first. It was Steve himself.

“Steve?” Wanda asked in surprise.

“Cap?” Clint followed. “Everything alright?”

Steve smiled and nodded. “Yeah. I’m okay now.” And he looked them all over with fondly, in obvious recognition. After which he was mauled by several of his teammates one by one in short hugs and gentle pats on the back. (Vision wisely kept Thor at bay, just in case.)

Bucky and Dr. Strange emerged next, sporting grins themselves.

“Magic?” Bruce overheard Tony ask Dr. Strange around a cupped hand, both teasing and suspicious.

“Only a little.” Dr. Strange confessed in a whisper.

***---***---***

As the other Avengers expected – Dr. Strange, Tony and Bruce all returned to New York only hours after Steve’s full recovery. They extended the offer of instant travel to the others and surprisingly Clint and Scott accepted. Over the following few days, the rest of the Avengers also went their own ways – back to their missions or ordinary life. Steve was to stay in Wakanda under observation, just in case, and Bucky was determined to remain by his side.

Saying goodbye to Vision and Wanda was hard, Bucky found. They had opened their home to him and given him the space and the time he needed to continue healing – asking for nothing in return. But he knew now that he couldn’t go back with them. Their time together as a thrown-together family was over. Steve didn’t ask about the tears Bucky shed – he just held his hand.

It was just the two of them now. Even T’challa was called away on matters of government diplomacy. The doctors came by twice a day – morning and night – to ensure that Steve was stable. As far as Bucky could tell, it was as if the attack had never happened. Steve was himself again.

“Well, that’s the end of that.” Steve said as they retired to their rooms for the evening.

“Got the all clear?” Asked Bucky, although he already knew the answer.

“Yup. They said we are welcome to stay as T’challa’s guests for as long as we’d like – but I think I’m ready to go home.” Steve admitted.

Bucky nodded.

“Buck… we’ve got to talk about this sooner or later.” Prompted Steve after they were in relative privacy.

“I’m going with _you_ , Steve. Wherever that may be.”

Steve nodded as well. “I wouldn’t want it any other way – you know that. But we can’t go back to the Tower – not if you don’t like it there. We need to work something else out.”

“We could make it work. Somehow.” Bucky said – but it sounded weak even to himself.

“No, we should pick someplace new. _Together_.”

There was silence for a few moments, neither of them wanting to make the first suggestion. Bucky and Steve understood now that they were too willing to accept an unbalanced, and therefore an unfair compromise, rather than live apart. This was going to be hard. And they were going to have to be honest with each other.

 _Completely_ honest.

“I can’t leave you again, Steve. But… I’m worried about what that might mean for _you_.” Bucky admitted.

“How so?” Asked Steve, sounding confused.

Bucky sighed. “You deserve more than I can give you, Steve. And with me sticking around all the time – I might keep you from finding that with someone else.”

“Buck… I love _you_. And I’d rather have what you are ready and willing to give than anything ‘ _more’_ from someone less. But I need to know where that line is, if we are going to make this work.” Whispered Steve. They were alone, but Bucky could tell it was incredibly hard for Steve to say all of that out loud.

“I don’t know yet, Steve. But I promise to tell you once I do. I love _you_ too, you know.” Buck whispered in return. “I’m safe with you Steve. I can relax. I can get close to you without being scared of myself. What I could do. Who I could hurt.”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit.” Steve waived these worries away – as if they were nothing. Bucky desperately wanted to as well.

“Dr. Fields said that, in time, I might be ready for more. But there are no guarantees.”

There was a glimmer of hope in Steve’s eyes. “Buck – we literally have all the time in the world. The serum stopped our aging almost to a halt. Barring any truly disastrous accidents or alien diseases – you and I could live… _indefinitely_. Somehow, I should be scared, I guess – but I’m not. Not if I’m with you.”

Part of Bucky knew this already, but he hadn’t seriously thought about it. “We picked awfully dangerous jobs for wannabe immortals.”

Steve smiled briefly, but sobered up to follow with, “I accepted the serum because I didn’t really expect to live through the War. I wouldn’t have been able to help otherwise. Not really.”

This revelation made Bucky taste bile. “ _Steve_ …”

“And someday, I’ll accept my last mission. That might be tomorrow – or many, many years from now. No guarantees. But I will have made a difference, Buck.” Steve finished.

Bucky found himself wrapping his arms around Steve in a hug. He didn’t usually initiate contact. But he needed this – to feel Steve healthy, warm and whole. He buried his face in Steve’s neck. This was home, he realized. Everything else didn’t seem to matter as much.

“I want an apartment. Nothing too fancy. Nothing too big.” Bucky mumbled, still pressed into Steve so firmly he was unsure if his words were even intelligible.

“Okay. So long as it isn’t _too_ far from the Tower. I hate long commutes.” Steve accepted.

“Deal.” Bucky agreed readily – finally releasing Steve.

“Buck. I _really_ want to kiss you right now.” Steve whispered, his cheeks pink.

Bucky considered this. He had been surprised by Steve’s quick peck on the cheek a few days before – but it didn’t scare him. He didn’t think it was gross. It wasn’t an _impossible_ request. “We could try it.”

Steve looked so happy, Bucky was doubting why he even had to think about it. Steve went slow – just in case. Bucky had kissed lots of girls, and it didn’t feel different really. Except that this time it was _Steve_  his eyes met when he pulled away – blue eyes alight, affectionately nibbling on his lower lip, each breath fluttering warmly against his cheeks and down his neck. No, not impossible at all.

Afterwards, Steve looked at Bucky expectantly.

“Well… kissing with you is definitely okay.” Bucky answered.

“Just _okay_?” Steve laughed.

“ _Safe_. I meant safe. No lines crossed.” Bucky amended, smiling.

Steve slumped in obvious relief. “Thank God.”

Bucky noticed the beginnings of a tent in Steve’s pants. He wasn’t ready to go further just yet – but if they had time to work things out… then it was a _maybe_.

Steve must have noticed where Bucky’s attention had been drawn. “Sorry” he whispered, embarrassed.

“Steve, if we are going to make this work – you don’t have to apologize every time you get wood. It should be _me_ doing the apologizing, really.” Bucky tried to explain.

“I _know_ … autonomic response and all that. But knowing doesn’t make it feel any less… _wrong_. Not when you don’t want it too.” Steve replied sadly – cheeks still fiery.

Bucky thought about this. He had jerked-off a few times in the shower since Thanos – out of habit more than anything else. But otherwise, sex just wasn’t something he really thought much about any more, let alone wanted. Perhaps another test wouldn’t be out-of-line.

“Steve. I want you to touch me. Through my clothes.” Bucky found himself saying, his own cheeks burning this time.

“ _What_?” Steve didn’t move.

“Second base, Steve. If I can handle kissing, it makes sense to continue.”

Steve still didn’t move, but his eyes wandered. This, Bucky found, was almost as stimulating as actual touch. Steve looked hungrily down Bucky’s body, slowing at the curves and contours – taking in the patterns of feint freckles on every patch of exposed skin. When Steve did finally touch him, it was with warm hands, alternating between gently brushing and firmly caressing.

Bucky’s instincts made him tense, the muscles Steve touched coiled – anticipating a swift counterattack. But one that Bucky would never complete. Not with Steve. _Never_.

Steve kissed him again – slowly, just like before. But this time, he leaned in to Bucky with his whole body. Bucky could feel Steve’s now fully-engorged member grind against his own soft one. Feeling how much Steve wanted him made Bucky happy in a way he couldn’t explain. He held onto Steve a little tighter.

When Steve pulled back from the kiss, they stayed locked in each other’s arms. Steve’s face was still red, and not simply from embarrassment. Bucky recognized that look.

“Do you think Dr. Strange has a spell for trauma-induced impotence?” Bucky lamented, partly in jest.

Steve laughed. “Bucky…”

“I… _like_ feeling how much you want me, Steve. This is safe. But I don’t think I can do more. Not yet.” Confessed Bucky honestly. “This must be like _torture_ for you.”

“Bucky… I can take care of things myself. Have been for quite some time now.” Steve admitted.

“Still doesn’t make it right, getting you all worked up like this – for nothing.” Bucky sighed.

“It’s more than I ever hoped for, Buck.” Steve said happily. “But I _do_ want more. With you.”

Bucky released his hold on Steve. “What if I _can’t_ give you any more? Not ever?”

“Hey… I’m still in love with _you_ , Buck. All of this is just… _extra_. And this isn’t just about me, Buck.” Steve said seriously. “Don’t ever give me _anything_ that you don’t want to give. Who knows… maybe _someday_ , you’ll find that you want more too. With me… or with someone else.”

Bucky sighed and rubbed at his eyes. “This is going to be hard to explain to people.” But he quickly amended it with, “Only if you want to, of course.”

Steve shrugged in a non-committal sort of way. Not yet then.

“I don’t want to sleep alone. In the apartment, I mean.” Bucky clarified.

“Really? Same _room_ … or same… _bed_?” Asked Steve carefully.

“I don’t know yet.” Admitted Bucky once again. “I feel like I’m going to be saying that a lot.”

“Then let’s find out _together_.” Steve answered wisely with a warm smile.

***---***---***

Now that Dr. Strange was back, they scheduled a session in the Playground for the following week. This gave Bruce ample time to ensure that he was indeed fully healed and for the Hulk to emerge organically at least once during the night – also back in prime condition. If watching a recording of the Hulk repeatedly throw Diz the new toy Bruce had purchased for her upon their return to New York could be interpreted as such. Tony thought so at least.

“I wish this wasn’t so… _complicated_.” Bruce lamented as they waited in the Playground for Dr. Strange to arrive.

“You mean, talking to the Hulk?” Tony asked.

“Yes. But the whole thing, really. Sharing a body with someone kind of… sucks.”

Tony looked puzzled. “This isn’t some segue for you to announce your shift in focus from eradication of the Hulk to splitting the two of you apart, is it?”

“Oh, _please_. I stopped researching how to get rid of the Hulk ages ago. You know that.” Bruce rolled his eyes. “Not that the idea of housing either the Hulk or myself in a synthetic body hadn’t crossed my mind after Vision – but considering the circumstances needed for success… _yeah_ , no need to worry there.”

Tony still didn’t seem convinced.

“Don’t mind me. I’m just… _complaining_. I have a right to do that now and then.” Bruce said instead.

“Yes, Bruce. You do.” Tony finally said in return. “More so than most.”

Bruce didn’t know how to answer that. An unusual silence lingered between them, which was interrupted by FRIDAY. “Dr. Strange has entered the Tower and will be joining you shortly, Mr. Stark. Dr. Banner.”

“Thanks, FRIDAY.” Replied Tony.

“Hey… make sure you thank the Big Guy for me this time, will you?” Bruce asked.

Tony’s eyebrows rose. “Thank him?”

“Not for… you know… all the _killing_. For the rest of it.” Bruce explained weakly.

“Okay. I can do that.” Tony answered with a smile.

Dr. Strange entered the Playground – smoke free this time.

“Welcome back, Doctor.” Tony gave a mock bow.

“Good to see you again.” Bruce offered his hand to Dr. Strange.

Dr. Strange took the offered hand for a brief, polite shake. “Of course. I find our sessions enlightening. Any word on Steve?”

“Announced his return to the States – but neither he, nor Bucky have yet returned to the Tower. Bruce thinks they are house hunting.” Tony supplied. “I’m thinking more like… _honeymoon_.”

Bruce rolled his eyes again. “ _Tooonnyyy_ …”

“Whatever the occasion, I’m glad to hear he seems to have recovered fully. And the Hulk?” Dr. Strange asked, unfazed.

“Back to normal, so far as I can tell. I guess we will know soon enough.” Bruce suggested.

Tony rubbed his hands together. “Shall we, Dr. Strange?”

“Very well.” Dr. Strange assumed his spell-casting stance.

Bruce was familiar with the routine by now. Moments passed where nothing seemed to change, then his sight became blurry – his senses dulled down to around half their normal range. Only this time the Hulk wasted no time in taking over.

“AAAAAAAaaaaaaahhhhh!” The Hulk roared – much more aggressively than Bruce was comfortable with. Dr. Strange and Tony both flinched back a little.

“ _Woah_ , there. Hey – what’s going on, Hulk?” Tony asked.

The Hulk’s emotions went by too quickly for Bruce to read.

“Hulk… _angry_!” Replied the Hulk. His hesitation on the last word was troubling. Bruce could tell it was more than that.

“Should Dr. Strange and I leave? Do you need to let some of that out, Bud?” Tony continued, his concern obvious. “I can take Dizzy to the lab. That way you can smash all you want.”

“No take Diz!” The Hulk cried. “No… smash.”

“You’re not… I mean, Bruce is all healed up – thanks to you. Are you all better too?” Tony asked, suddenly uncertain.

“Hulk is strong! Nothing hurts Hulk.”

This response could be taken either as a front to hide lingering pain – or perhaps the Hulk’s ego was intentionally downplaying the damage he had endured only two weeks prior, Bruce wasn’t certain.

“ _Well_ … Bruce wanted me to tell you he is grateful. You saved his life.” Tony continued.

“Puny Banner.” Was all that the Hulk said in reply, although there was less venom behind it than usual.

Tony nodded. “Yeah, he’s fragile – just like the rest of us humans. Like me.”

“Metal Man not… not…” It was clear the Hulk couldn’t say the word ‘ _fragile’_. Tony got his meaning, anyway.

“Hey, _thanks_ Buddy. But you know, I’m liable to break too – sometimes. My armor helps a lot, but I’m still human.” Tony said – but his modesty seemed a little insincere. If the Hulk had a big ego, Tony’s was enormous.

Hulk seemed to need to confirm this for himself. He reached a giant green hand out to poke Tony – testing how soft and small the man was. To Tony’s credit, he only winced and stumbled backwards a couple paces – the breath having been knocked out of him.

The Hulk laughed. “Soft like Diz. Metal Man must come to Hulk.” This must have been how Tony had taught the Hulk to handle interacting with such a small animal.

Tony wheezed. “That’s right. I come to you, Buddy. _Oooohh_.”

“Metal Man should come every day. Live in Hulk’s House.” The Hulk announced.

“Well, in a way, I do.” Tony tried to explain.

The Hulk just looked confused.

“How about we set up another playdate with Thor? I could go with you again – take the Hulk Buster armor… er… the Big One.”

The Hulk shook his head. “Hulk want to play with… _Tony_.”

The use of Tony’s name, as opposed to Metal Man, suggested something different than what was being offered. Bruce tried not to read too much into it – but the Hulk’s emotions were now settling into ones he recognized. Maybe Tony wouldn’t notice.

But Tony was far too clever – and damnably dirty minded. “Wow. _Thanks_ , Hulk. I’m… flattered.”

“Banner and Hulk share Tony.” The Hulk replied – which meant that now Dr. Strange was in on the abrupt shift in their conversation. Deep, poorly suppressed giggles met Bruce’s ears.

Bruce's heroic effort of will wrestled back control over his mouth before things could get any worse. However, he might have ended their conversation by inadvertently giving voice to the only word that readily came to mind for the mess that was his life.

“ _Fuck_.”


	10. Chapter 10

All that Bruce remembers about the rest of his session with Dr. Strange is the smug look on Tony’s face. Bruce was unwilling to let the Hulk say anything more, so they called it a day. Thankfully, Dr. Strange took pity on him and escorted Tony from the Playground so that Bruce could escape. That was eight hours ago – since then, Bruce hid in his private quarters, sulking.

It wasn’t that Bruce didn’t _like_ Tony, he discovered, but rather that it had been the Hulk that had made the first move. He had never even entertained the _thought_ of pursuing Tony. Not that there wasn’t some attraction there – but perhaps because it seemed so… unobtainable. Bruce was stuck in a situation that he couldn’t escape which made everything more complicated. High danger. High risk. With relatively little reward, Bruce thought.

Bruce tried to make up even more excuses for why continuing down that train of thought would be fruitless – but all it really did was make him fantasize about what dating Tony would be like. While Bruce identified as demisexual towards either gender, he had never even kissed a guy before. There was the whole aspect of showing affection to another _guy_ – either in public or in private – that Bruce didn’t know how to traverse.

Not to mention the general expectations entering into a romantic relationship would have for physical intimacy. Fantasizing about a nameless, faceless man joining in on giving him pleasure did nothing for Bruce. But thinking about Tony instigating it – in fact actively participating – now that had potential. He drifted a hand over his naked chest, his thighs, his stomach, his neck – imagining that it was Tony touching him. Bruce gave a shallow, involuntary moan. Okay… so the idea of being intimate with Tony was a definite turn on.

Bruce understood the idea of gay sex _theoretically_. Tony was different. The eccentric billionaire led a troubled and rocky life before Afghanistan – which included a lot of experimentation, casual dalliances, and a wide variety in romantic partners. This was basic fact, easily gleaned from the plethora of gossip articles that popped up in any online search. Bruce wasn’t some dewy-eyed virgin – but compared to Tony… he was incredibly ignorant.

If Bruce allowed himself to linger on _that_ thought, he found his body eager to respond. It had been a long time since that had happened. Being alone, and it being the middle of the night, Bruce threw off the covers and looked at his engorged member in fascination. Jerking off right then felt like it might be the wrong thing to do, but he took his prick into his hand anyway and stroked it gently. Tony would already know what he liked and would take the lead...

Tony was beautiful, really. Tony was always well-groomed in contrast to Bruce’s frumpiness. Tony was lean, while Bruce carried a little bit more extra weight. (He blamed it on the Hulk’s nocturnal eating habits.) Plus the man was brilliant. Nothing was as stimulating as bantering with another human being of equal intelligence. If Bruce was honest… perhaps he had been carrying a torch for Tony for a while.

Bruce pumped harder, his breath coming faster and more urgently. To be able to have more than this with someone again… _yes_ , Bruce wanted that. Of course he did. He rolled over and began rutting against the mattress. But the Hulk liked Tony too. It would be _so_ easy for Tony to break. Bruce felt his heart skitter painfully at the thought. He couldn’t do it. Too dangerous.

Having lost his momentum, Bruce stopped thrusting and lay down heavily. His dick was still painfully hard and pressed into his lower stomach awkwardly. Relationships were about a lot more than just sex. While Bruce no longer thought of the Hulk as having the mind of a child – the Other Guy did think rather simplistically. Everything was easy to the Hulk. Hungry? Eat. Cage? Break free. Someone attacks? Beat the opponent to a pulp. Why shouldn’t things be as simple regarding relationships? Or better yet, why couldn’t Bruce stop overthinking everything – making them more complicated than they needed to be?

Bruce’s dick was still half-hard. He wanted to imagine being with Tony. Maybe just this once. It felt good. Bruce liked it. The Hulk liked it. So he rolled over again onto his back, keeping his eyes closed. He leisurely pumped his erection back to full strength. All the attention was making the tip leak a clear wet smear across his stomach. What would Tony say, seeing Bruce like this? Legs spread apart, breathing getting heavier as his body demanded more oxygen, his fist picking up the pace...

When his climax came, Bruce saw stars even with his eyes closed. His body shuddered in waves as his efforts were rewarded with an intoxicating bliss.

Afterwards, when he opened his eyes, he looked down. It had obviously been some time since he’d had a good wank – there was a large white puddle of cum oozing on and around the hair on his chest. There was so much cum he had to catch it before it rolled off his side and onto the sheets. Better that he just take a quick shower rather than have to make the bed anew before finally going to sleep.

 _God_ … that felt good.

***---***---***

Bruce looked at the elevator doors from a safe distance the next morning for several minutes before gathering up enough courage to get into the lift. He told FRIDAY which lab he wanted to go to that day and counted the seconds it took to ascend. Bruce would bump into Tony sooner or later – and things weren’t going to be the same between them no matter how the next few moments played out.

Tony might treat the Hulk’s proposal as a joke and laugh it off – not even considering Bruce’s feelings in the matter. Or Bruce might have to initiate the conversation. _Hell_ , how was he going to do that? Worse yet, maybe Tony would only be open to the idea of casual sex? He was still grieving Pepper, after all.

The lift opened… but to an empty lab. Bruce sighed in relief.

“FRIDAY, where’s Tony?” Bruce asked.

“Mr. Stark is currently testing the altitude limit of the Mock Eleven.” Came the reply.

Bruce went mindlessly about the motions of setting up his work station and pulling up reports for his long-standing experiments – scanning them briefly for anomalies. It could be that Tony really was just testing his new suit and he would waltz in with a big smile on his face any minute. Or… this could be an excuse for Tony to avoid seeing Bruce. The latter seemed more likely.

Eventually, Bruce relaxed into his routine and the events of the day before retreated to the back of his mind. Hours passed. Lunchtime came and went. Sometimes Bruce could be just as bad as Tony about getting so absorbed in his work that he forgot about eating. Although more often than not, just having someone else working by their side was enough for one of them to think about stopping for food. The countless quick meals Tony and Bruce has shared in the labs together suddenly came to mind as Bruce’s tummy began grumbling in earnest by mid-afternoon.

 “Captain Rogers is requesting entry into the labs, Dr. Banner.” FRIDAY interrupted.

“Oh… _uh_. Let him in.” Bruce replied – a little delayed. This was a surprise.

It only took seconds for Steve to arrive. He seemed a little nervous, Bruce thought.

“Hey, Steve! Good to see you out and about. What brings you back to the Tower? And please don’t tell me it’s for another solo mission with me – those don’t seem to end well.” Bruce tried to put Steve at ease.

“No.” Steve laughed. “Nothing like that. Just picking up the first batch of mine and Bucky’s stuff. Figured it would be impolite to come all this way and leave without even saying hello. That and… well, I was hoping to catch Tony.”

“I see. FRIDAY, is Tony still testing out his new suit?” Bruce asked.

“Negative. Mr. Stark has been stationary atop the Chrysler Building for the past 45 minutes. No suit malfunctions – purpose of stop unknown.” The AI answered in surprising detail.

Bruce looked guiltily at Steve. “Maybe he’s just… enjoying the view?”

“I’ll catch him another time then. No worries.” Steve waved it off.

Bruce nodded – not wanting to get in between his two friend’s reconciliation. “So… how’s the new place? I trust you found something more to Bucky’s taste.” Bruce asked instead.

“Yeah… actually, we both like it a lot. Rooftop has a _great_ view.” Steve gushed.

“I’m happy for you two.” Bruce said honestly.

Steve blushed. “Bucky told me you and he talked. Thanks for that.”

“Of course.” Bruce smiled. “Are you going to have an Open House or something once you’re settled? I’d like to see it.”

“I’ll have to ask Bucky. He’s… _well_ , people aren’t really his thing anymore. Crowds. Visitors. Something I’ll have to get used to.” Steve admitted.

“Understandable.” Bruce smiled again. Sounded like real progress between the two of them.

“Although… I guess Bucky wouldn’t mind if I told you… that he and I… We’re… well, we’re trying something new. That is… I mean, being… _together_.” Steve’s cheeks were scarlet, but he was grinning broadly. “I’m just so… _happy_. Needed to share that with someone.”

“Congratulations!” Bruce got up from his station and gave Steve a warm, brief hug. “You’re lucky Tony isn’t here or we’d have to endure him saying ‘I told you so’ over and over again.” He laughed.

“Er… _really_? I mean, this is all so new… we aren’t ready to tell… _everyone_.” Steve stumbled over his response, his face falling. “Have people been… I mean they suspected that Bucky and I were…”

“ _Relax_. Tony thinks everyone is having sex.” Bruce rolled his eyes, trying to calm Steve down. “And I won’t tell anyone else without your permission. One step at a time.”

“Oh… that’s a relief.” Steve smiled again. “Although… our being… together. It isn’t quite like that. Not yet anyways. It’s… _complicated_.”

Bruce nodded. Everything was complicated it seemed, when you’re an Avenger. “ _Ah_ … I take it Bucky is still moving slow then. If it isn’t too presumptuous of me to ask, that is?”

Steve nodded back. “I really don’t want him to feel like I’m pushing. But… I’ve had a crush on Bucky since… _forever_. It still feels surreal.”

“A gentle push in the right direction isn’t such a bad thing.” Bruce winked. The same could be said about his own situation with Tony, he thought.

“Not when your… _boyfriend_ … is a flight risk.” It sounded like that was the first time Steve had used that word in this context. Progress indeed.

Bruce waved that comment aside. “If you keep talking things through I highly doubt you will have to worry about _that_.”

“I guess. But I still feel… _something_. And it isn’t like before. Almost like my feelings for Bucky are… dirty. Because he’s not ready to go further…” Steve trailed off, blushing again. “You probably don’t want to hear any of this…”

“Ah, the classic dilemma of balancing sex into a relationship without the whole thing blowing up in your face. You’re not alone there, Steve. And wanting more with Bucky isn’t the same as pushing him into it.” Bruce said sagely - this advice also strangely relevant to his own situation.

Steve perched himself on one of the lab stools. Bruce could tell Steve needed to talk this out.

“If I’m completely honest, part of me is just… _angry_ that my body hasn’t quite gotten the message – you know? I love being with Bucky – in any way he wants us to be.” Admitted Steve.

Bruce contemplated this. “I’ve studied Biology. I could tell you all about how lifeforms developed sexual urges that are hardwired into their whole existence, about how events are triggered in all the autonomic systems of the body, about continuous hormone production – but I doubt it would help. Sometimes the best answer is the simplest. It’s okay to be human, Steve – and everything that being human entails. Even as an incredibly righteous, jacked-up superhuman… you’re still just a man, Steve.”

“’Imperfect creatures, crawling in the mud – professing to be Gods.’” Steve quoted, nodding. “ _Yeah_ … Bucky’s been on a book reading binge lately. What you’re saying is that I’m expecting too much of myself?”

“Sort of. I’m saying that you’re already winning. You’ve decided to go forward _with_ Bucky – not selfishly, but _together_.” Bruce finished.

Steve nodded absently, mulling that over.

Bruce sighed heavily. “Seeing as we are being so candid, it might help for you to know that I’ve been wrestling with some of the same things. Letting the Hulk take the lead on this front has been… _challenging_. I’m not really as put together as I like to appear. I’m no expert.”

“Could have fooled me.” Steve said in return.

“I get into, I don’t know… _professor-mode_ or something. Funnily enough, talking things out like this has helped me realize a few things. Almost like I need to think about my own relationship troubles as if they were occurring to someone else I care about before I can find the answers I’m looking for.” Bruce revealed.

“You listened to me complain – it’s only fair that I offer to return the favor.” Steve smiled warmly.

Bruce sighed again. “Yeah… I suppose that is fair. But I’m not expecting any miracles, Steve.”

Steve laughed. “While I don’t want to make light of what you’re going through… it can’t really be _that_ bad, can it?”

“Well… put it this way – me and the Hulk are a package deal. Just last night he revealed that he is attracted to and wants to pursue a relationship with… well, with _Tony_.” Bruce held his breath, unsure how Steve would react to this news.

“Oh.” Steve said. “And that’s a problem because… Tony doesn’t like guys?”

Poor, poor Steve – how little he knew. “No, that’s not the problem at all. Tony’s bisexual. The problem is that the Hulk can kill things by sneezing at them.” Bruce sounded only _slightly_ bitter.

“That’s it?” Asked Steve. “You’re scared the Hulk will hurt him?”

“Well, no. I haven’t actually talked to Tony about what he thinks about all of this yet. And there’s _my_ feelings to consider. The Hulk can’t just decide these things on his own!” Bruce complained.

“So… you _don’t_ like Tony that way?” Steve tried to keep up.

“Actually, I do. But that’s not really the point…” Bruce tried.

Steve interrupted in disbelief. “ _What_? Really? You’ve got a thing for Tony?”

“Yes.” Bruce answered, blushing. “We’ve already established that.”

Steve shook his head. “Bruce, the Hulk climbed several buildings to catch Tony in midair at the Battle of New York. The Hulk knows what hurts people. I don’t think he’s as ignorant as you seem to think.”

He tried to think back to all those encounters caught on video the Hulk had with innocent people. Perhaps Bruce was just inflating the collateral damage – skewing the statistics, because he didn’t want to face the truth: the Hulk always _knew_ he was killing people. “I’m not sure I’m ready to accept that. It would mean… well, it would mean the Other Guy is more _ruthless_ … more _monstrous_ than I think I could handle.”

“How so?” Steve didn’t follow.

“His legacy is already so dark… so bloody. If every action he made was deliberate… willfully harming -  _killing_ even _more_ …” Bruce tried to explain.

“ _Woah_ , _woah_! Bruce. Is that really how you see the Hulk? Even after all this time?” Steve asked, surprised. “Look at me, Bruce. Am I a monster?”

“Of course not. You’re nothing like the Hulk.” Bruce rolled his eyes.

“How about Natasha? Her body count is probably higher than mine. A lot of it she won’t even talk about. Is she a monster?” Asked Steve again.

“No.” Bruce answered. Natasha was more like an avenging angel now, he thought.

“What about Bucky?” Steve asked quietly.

“That’s different.” Bruce shook his head.

“No, it’s not. If Natasha and Bucky get a pass… then so does the Hulk.” Steve said firmly. “The Hulk is still human, right? Underneath everything, green muscles and all – is he not a man?”

Using his own words back on him like that was cheating somehow, Bruce knew it had to be. The words stung – but not because they were meant to harm him. They were biting away at something he didn’t even realize he was desperately clinging onto. _What was it?_

“My turn to be honest, Bruce. I never made it all the way through your file – back when we first met on the helicarrier. All I could think about was waking up from that iron coffin they put me into to administer the serum only to find people relentlessly chasing me down in order to lock me up in a cage and run experiments on me as if I were an animal. Because that’s how the Hulk was treated, Bruce. And sometimes… that’s how _you_ were treated too.” Steve was whispering now.

Bruce found that he couldn’t look at anything except the floor. Steve had made his point. They didn’t say anything between them for a few moments.

“Thanks, Steve.” Bruce finally managed.

“What for?” Steve sounded guilty.

Bruce lifted his gaze from the floor to meet Steve’s concerned face. “I can get… lost in my own thoughts. Blind to my mistakes in judgement.”

“I don’t think you’re alone in that.” Steve added kindly.

“No, I suppose not.” Replied Bruce. “I wrote a paper on it once – Cognitive Dissonance. But knowing what it _is_ doesn’t do any good in guarding oneself against it sometimes, I guess.”

“Human like the rest of us then?” Steve asked, teasing.

“I suppose I am.” Admitted Bruce with a small, sad smile.

They were interrupted by the elevator door opening to reveal… Pepper.

“Hello, gentlemen. Not exactly who I expected, but it _is_ wonderful to see you both. And in excellent health, considering!” Pepper chirped happily, gliding over and giving them both quick hugs. “I’m not intruding, am I?”

“No… we were just catching up.” Steve covered smoothly.

“Good. I’m looking for Tony. The Board want him present for my reinstatement as acting CEO, apparently.”

Bruce shook himself free from his budding melancholy. “How was your sabbatical? Tony said you were going to be gone for another month.”

“Oh, it was starting to get boring.” Pepper teased. “And after accomplishing exactly what the doctor ordered, it seemed silly to prolong it further.”

“Now I understand why Tony sometimes describes you as ‘frightfully efficient.’” Steve teased back.

Pepper smiled brightly, taking this as a complement. “FRIDAY, where _is_ Tony?”

“Good to see you back, Miss Potts. Mr. Stark is still atop the Chrysler Building.” FRIDAY replied promptly.

“Still?” Asked Pepper.

“Maybe you better page him, FRIDAY.” Bruce suggested.

“Right away, Dr. Banner.”

The three of them waited a moment for a reply from Tony.

“Mr. Stark is making his way back to the Tower. He should be joining you in approximately five minutes.” FRIDAY relayed.

“Well, that’s good. I’m sure there is a mountain of paperwork waiting for me at the office.” But Pepper didn’t sound very unhappy about this, Bruce thought.

“Pepper, now that you’re back… if you don’t mind… there was something I wanted to ask you about.” Began Steve.

“Of course.” Replied Pepper.

Steve took a second to compose his thoughts before asking, “It’s about a request that some… _supporters_ made of me – as Captain America. Tony might have forwarded it to you. They asked me to officiate their wedding.”

Pepper looked surprised. “I’m aware of the request. But this was almost six months ago – if I’m not mistaken. I’m sure I can pull up their number and inquire further. You’re interested in taking part, granted they haven’t gone forward without you?”

“Yes. Although, I’m not sure how – _legally_ I mean. Tony made it sound simple.” Steve nodded.

“Oh, it is – don’t worry about that. I’m delighted, Steve! This is very… _courteous_ of you.” Pepper gushed.

Bruce had seen the footage from the News which had prompted the Avenger’s Diversity Trainings. This turn of events was heartwarming, to say the least. But Tony was going to be walking through that door any second – and Bruce needed a few moments more to gather himself back together before facing him. Besides, Tony would have enough to deal with Pepper _and_ Steve.

“Seeing as you’re both here for Tony – I hope you don’t mind if I leave you to it. Going to let the Hulk have a go in the Playground for a few hours.” Bruce lied. He was really going to go play with Diz and raid the Hulk’s fridge.

“Ok. I’m so glad you’re doing better, Bruce.” Pepper gave him another quick hug.

Steve nodded, gave him a knowing smile and a short wave.

***---***---***

Bruce was still in the Playground late that same evening, Diz curled up on his chest fast asleep. He kept asking FRIDAY every hour if Tony was alone – and finally, the AI announced that Pepper had left the Tower. Only now Bruce didn’t want to disturb Diz.

“FRIDAY, has Tony ever used your interface as a real-time message relay connecting two rooms in the Tower before?” Asked Bruce.

“Are you asking if I can be used as a phone, Dr. Banner?” FRIDAY clarified.

“Er… well, yes.” Confirmed Bruce. In fact, Tony seemed to be able to converse much more meaningfully this way anyway – it would be a good way to approach what Bruce needed to say.

A few seconds passed. “Mr. Stark has agreed to the exchange – the audio receivers of your rooms are now connected.” FRIDAY announced.

“Hey, Tony. I know this seems… _silly_. I’m in the Playground and Diz fell asleep on me. I didn’t bring my phone. Are you… free to talk? I mean… I know you’ve had lots of visitors today – we can talk tomorrow if you’re tired.” Bruce began.

“Hi, Bruce. Actually, it’s good to hear your voice. Steve all but got teary-eyed thanking me for housing him and Bucky while trying to downplay how miserable it made them and Pepper was all business. I am tired… but I’d like to  _talk_. With you.” Came Tony’s reply over the speakers.

Bruce tried not to feel too pleased with himself at that last comment. “Busy day then. FRIDAY said you were out testing the Mock Eleven earlier. Good flight?”

“I was hoping to replicate the air-tight seal of Mock Six with the light-weight, portable Mock Nine. Went as well as could be expected. Leaked like a wooden ship.” Tony grumbled.

“You’ll fix it. You always do.” Bruce said confidently.

“Maybe tomorrow.” Tony said, obviously tired.

“Hey… now that I’ve had time to calm down, I was hoping to… hear how you interpreted Hulk’s proposal yesterday.” Bruce began.

Silence.

“Tony?” Asked Bruce.

“I’m still here. Didn’t think you would be so direct.” Tony gave a fake chuckle.

Bruce groaned. “You know what I mean, _Tony_. But… it’s probably only fair for me to add… what the Hulk said, it caught me by surprise – but I’m maybe… more than a little amenable to the idea.”

More silence.

“Tony?” Bruce was suddenly regretting adding that last bit.

“Bruce, I can’t tell you how glad I am to hear you say that.” Tony finally answered.

“Really?” Bruce asked, hopefully. This emotional roller-coaster was giving him whiplash.

“Really. In fact… maybe Pepper wasn’t _all_ business today. We might have talked about what happened yesterday with the Hulk. She gave me her blessing – sort of speak.” Tony’s laugh was genuine this time.

“ _God_ , that must have been awkward.” Bruce laughed too.

“You have no idea.”

Bruce sighed. “Steve and I talked today too. Told me some things I guess I needed to hear.”

“Like what?” Asked Tony.

“I’ve needed a reason to keep hating the Hulk. To fear him. My logic was getting all kinds of messed up in trying to continue to justify it. And while I’m still _scared_ … the Hulk’s raw power and determination will probably always intimidate me – I don’t _hate_ him anymore.” Bruce revealed.

“Bravo! I should gift Steve a new medal just for that. What did he say to you?” Tony asked excitedly.

“ _Well_ … I’ve been willing to overlook the past transgressions of some of our teammates because I knew they had grown or changed. They are good people, Tony. But I wasn’t extending this same idea to the Hulk. Forgiveness is too strong a word for it – I don’t think I’ll ever be able to do that. But In a way… I guess I wasn’t seeing the Hulk as capable of change. I didn’t see him as… _human_.”

“Wow, Bruce. That’s big.” Tony commended.

“ _Yeah_. No wonder the Hulk talks about me with resentment. I hope things between us can change.” Added Bruce.

“Does this mean I still get to act as your mediator?” Asked Tony.

“Of course. You’ve been doing great. But we might need to invest in some earplugs for Dr. Strange.” Bruce blushed.

Tony laughed hard. It took a few seconds before he could reply. “ _God_ , I like you, Bruce.”

“I like you too, Tony.” Bruce replied sincerely.

“And I mean all of you, Bruce. Even the Hulk.” Continued Tony.

Bruce nodded, even though Tony couldn’t see him. Diz had long since vacated her perch – sleeping on a talking and laughing human was not pleasant. “I figured as much.”

“Please tell me this means we can finally stream _Thunder Down Under_ in the Playground.” Tony pleaded.

Bruce laughed. “ _Alright_. You have my permission. This is going to be so weird.”

“Not that weird, really. I’m the one reaping the reward. Dating _two_ hot guys at the same time? _Yes_ , _please_!” Tony teased.

“Just promise you won’t do anything too crazy. And that you stay safe.” Bruce requested.

“If Pepper hadn’t already made me promise exactly the same thing earlier I might fight a little harder on this.” Tony replied, sounding rather resigned.

“ _Please_ , Tony.” Bruce asked sweetly.

“I promise.” Tony grumbled.

“FRIDAY, please record that for future reference.” Bruce teased.

“Belay that, FRIDAY. _Jeez_.” But Tony was laughing too.

Bruce wasn’t sure how to proceed from here, so he kept silent – waiting for Tony.

“Bruce… playing with the Hulk is… well, I’m excited about that – you have no idea. But… I want to be with _you_ too. So what kind of gal are you? Should I start making reservations at the best restaurants in Paris? You like to be wined and dined? I’m only asking because Pepper said I should before instigating any romantic gestures – some of those really backfired in the past.” Asked Tony.

“Ah, the wisdom of Pepper. Remind me to thank her later.” Bruce teased. “In all honesty, I think the Hulk is probably a bigger foody than I am. Not that I would say no to authentic Indian or Cambodian food. Just don’t serve it on silver plates. I hate wearing formals.”

“Awww. Too bad. Because I’ve been dying to see you in a nice suit. With your build… yeah, I’m getting hard just thinking about your ass in fitted, dove gray slacks. A burgundy sports jacket and a gold pocket square…” Tony whined.

“A clothes fetish? _Really_? That’s what does it for you?” Bruce laughed.

Tony made a non-committal noise. “I _love_ unwrapping presents.”

“Too bad for you, the Hulk doesn’t like wrappings much.” Teased Bruce. This was easy. _Fun_.

“The Hulk has… _other_ attributes.” Tony replied coyly.

Bruce laughed again. “Way to give a guy an inferiority complex – no one’s junk is going to compare to _that_. Thanks.”

“ _Yeah_ … by the way, how would you feel if I began collecting… _certain footage_ … to add to my spank bank?” Asked Tony.

Bruce pondered this for a moment. “You should probably ask the Other Guy.”

“Okay. Wow – I wasn’t expecting that.” Tony said in genuine surprise.

“Just don’t give him any career advice – I’d rather not share a body with a porn star.” Bruce finished.

Tony laughed again. Bruce _loved_ the sound of it.


	11. Chapter 11

Sharing a bed with Steve proved too difficult. Not because Bucky was uncomfortable by the closeness – but because Steve couldn’t get a good night’s sleep. Until then, the fact that Bucky had a metal arm hadn’t been a bother in their relationship. But the truth was, no matter how brilliantly engineered the thing was – a combination of Stark and Wakandan technology – it still had serious drawbacks. The pressure and tactile sensors were centered around the palm and digits – which meant that when Bucky was asleep the rest of it basically became a bludgeon. Not to mention, being made of metal, it was always several degrees colder than the rest of his, or Steve’s for that matter, normal body temperatures.

Bucky found that he enjoyed cuddling with Steve, but it had to be conducted diurnally. As a compromise, they put both their beds in a single room. Not that they really had much choice – since the apartment they ended up loving only had a single bedroom anyway. Bucky liked it because it was an old building – one made of brick with real wood paneling along with thick windows that were nearly impossible to open from the inside, let alone granting access to any outside intruder. Steve liked it because they had free access to the rooftop where several residents had small gardens and there was a great view of the city. He found it picturesque, inspiring him to break out his sketchbook again.

Also, it was only about a 5-10 minutes commute to the Tower – traffic allowing. Everything was settling nicely. Bucky kept reminding Steve that he, being so enhanced, could probably run to the Tower in the same amount of time or less they were so close. However, Steve insisted that he still needed his motorcycle. Which is why after having been fully moved into their new place for only a week, Bucky wasn’t very sympathetic to his boyfriend’s antics when someone tried to steal Steve’s bike from the underground garage.

“ _Seriously?!_ The lock goes both through the wheel and around the chain – _anyone_ could see that they would have to cripple the engine to get it free without the key. _But no!_ Instead, they have to loosen every bolt and disconnect every exposed hose – forcing _me_ to take it to the shop. _Bastards_.” Steve kept grumbling. “And when I told our landlord, all he said is that he would ‘review the security footage’. It has to be someone in the building – _obviously_. Unless the security here is _so_ lax and these access cards are easily replicable that _anyone_ off the street could walk into the garage.”

“You’re still going on about that? Give it a rest, Steve.” Bucky tried.

“You know what? I’m not going to leave it down there anymore. I’ll carry it up the stairs and keep it by the door. I’ve seen other people do that with bicycles in TV.” Steve continued anyway.

“Just because you _can_ lift it up twelve flights of stairs doesn’t mean you _should_ , Steve. Besides, it’s bound to leak something and ruin the flooring.” Bucky vainly tried to reason with Steve.

“If it was _indoors_ when I’m not using it, there would never be a reason for it _to_ leak!” Came the obstinate reply.

“Well, _I_ don’t want it up here. You’ll have to make due with locking a tarp down over it in the garage or something.” Bucky finally snapped.

“Tarps can be cut, Bucky!” Steve was relentless.

Bucky sighed. “Then get something stronger! Or better yet, just leave it back at the Tower if you’re so worried about it. _No one_ breaks into _Tony’s_ garage.”

“That would defeat the purpose of having it _here_!” Steve yelled, losing his temper.

“I really, _really_ don’t care about your bike, Steve. Besides, it’s impractical.” Bucky yelled back.

Steve predictably justified himself with, “What if there’s an _emergency_ , Bucky?!”

“Then I’ll call a taxi.” Bucky laughed darkly.

“That’s _not_ funny! I’m serious.” Steve’s anger only grew.

“So am I, Steve. You would get to the Tower in about the same time either way. Besides, you don’t always have to take point. There _are_ other Avengers.” Bucky again tried to reason.

“I’m _not_ going to go on Reserve, Buck.” Steve replied meanly. “Even for you.”

“I’m not asking you to, Steve.” Bucky said sincerely, feeling hurt. “I would _never_ ask that of you.”

There was silence for a few seconds, both of them surprised at how much their petty squabbling had escalated. Bucky looked down at his hands, having forgotten that he had been preparing to start a new book rather excitedly only a few minutes before. Somehow the alluring cover didn’t elicit the same feelings now.

“ _Hey_ … I’m… going to go for a walk. Be back in a while.” Steve finally said, sounding guilty. He didn’t wait for a response but instead walked the few paces to the front door and closed it behind him quickly.

At first Bucky thought Steve was going to time how long it took for him to get to the Tower by various methods to prove his case. But as his anger cooled and as Steve was gone far longer than he expected – two hours, going on three – Bucky began to worry. Were they going to be able to make this work? Or was this just a sign of what he should expect life to be like now?

The book Bucky was going to read remained unopened. Instead he had turned on the TV to something subdued and let it run without really paying it much attention. Maybe it was just stress? Yet, moving had been relatively easy – especially since they didn’t need to worry about money. Maybe they were taking things too fast? They had lived together before a long time ago without there ever being a problem. At least not on Bucky’s end – he hadn’t really thought about what that must have been like for Steve.

Perhaps bringing the stupid bike along was a concession Bucky needed to make. Steve _was_ giving up a lot by agreeing to move out of the Tower. It probably represented something more to Steve – a secure link back to what he felt to be his purpose or something. One word to Tony and Steve could probably get a bike that could be carried folded like a suitcase – but Steve had insisted on using his old one. This was an emotional decision on Steve’s part so _of course_ Bucky’s logic was failing.

“ _Fine_.” Bucky said aloud. Now, if only Steve would come home…

Bucky was coaxed awake by the smell of food. He hadn’t even realized he had drifted off. Steve was back in the kitchen, shuffling plates around slowly – an obvious attempt at keeping the noise down. It was Bucky’s turn to feel guilty. Steve was being considerate. He had even picked them up some dinner while he was out. Bucky had done nothing but mope.

Steve appeared in the living room carrying two plates. He set them down carefully on the coffee table before realizing Bucky was awake. “Oh… sorry. Hope I didn’t wake you. Hungry?”

“That smells delicious.” Replied Bucky – looking at a steaming plate of tempura and fried rice.

“I… I didn’t mean to get so upset. Before.” Steve apologized.

Bucky sighed. “I’m sorry too.”

“Taking a walk helped to cool my head.” Steve continued. “About the bike… I found a solution. Getting mad wasn’t helping. I talked with the landlord again. Turns out there are some storage closets in the garage also available for rent. Costs a little extra, but the biggest ones are just barely deep enough for the bike to fit inside – even if that isn’t what they were designed for. He’s a nice guy, really. Apologized profusely that the few security cameras in the garage didn’t catch anything.”

“I shouldn’t have said I didn’t care about your bike. If we are going to make this work… I need to respect the things that are important to you.” Apologized Bucky.

Steve shook his head. “It’s just a bike, Buck. Something like that shouldn’t get between us.”

Bucky picked up his plate, prompting Steve to do the same. “Thanks for getting food.”

“Of course.” Answered Steve.

“I don’t like fighting with you.” Bucky acknowledge, taking a big bite of fried chicken dipped in sticky sweet and sour sauce.

Steve’s mouth was full – but he made a noise which Bucky chose to interpret as agreement.

“It feels different. Fighting now that we’re together. Made me worry that I’m messing this up.” Admitted Bucky.

Steve swallowed. “How so?” He asked – his ability to speak restored.

“Before the War… you were my best friend. But you were also kind of like my kid brother. We fought sometimes – but it felt… _different_.” Bucky failed to explain.

“Well, you did sometimes manhandle me into getting your way.” Steve teased.

Bucky smiled. But then other memories began to surface. “Steve… was it hard for you? Living together before, I mean.”

Steve didn’t meet Bucky’s eyes. “Sometimes.”

“I’m sorry.” Bucky apologized.

“ _Eh_ , don’t be. I wasn’t willing to admit what I felt to myself, let alone anyone else.” Steve waved Bucky’s words away. Bucky could tell there was still some lingering pain there, but now wasn’t the time to pry.

“Well, what do they say again about couples and their first fight?” Bucky asked rhetorically.

Steve smiled. “Really, it was hardly worth getting so upset over. I think… maybe I overreacted a bit.”

Bucky nodded. “And even though we were _talking_ – I don’t think we were _communicating_ very well. I’m glad it turned out to be such an easy fix.”

“Can I kiss you, Buck?” Steve asked. They were nearly done eating now.

Bucky still had his mouth half full, so he rolled his eyes. Finally he swallowed and said, “You don’t have to ask every time, you know.”

“Okay!” Steve said, beaming. He leaned over and gave Bucky an affectionate peck. Steve moved to deepen the kiss, but Bucky pulled away – still smiling.

“You can have more after dinner. _And_ after I’ve brushed my teeth. _Jeez_.” He teased. Bucky was actually excited to give in to Steve tonight.

***---***---***

Bruce was so incredibly comfortable, he regretted that he had woken up. But now that he _was_ awake, he couldn’t help but acknowledge the thoughts that passed through his mind, even with his eyes closed. He had left an experiment running in the labs that he would need to check on soon. In fact, why was he sleeping? Had he gone to bed early? No… he was going to let the Hulk have time in the Playground that afternoon. A nap perhaps?

Eventually, his curiosity outweighed his reluctance to leave the warm, pleasant stupor he was so enjoying. Bruce opened his eyes. He _was_ in the Playground – and, as usual, he was naked.

But he was also not alone.

“ _Tony!?_ ” He wailed, startled.

“ _Wha_ … huh…?” Tony mumbled groggily, coming out of his own slumber.

“Tony! What’s going on?” Asked Bruce, starting to panic. Tony was still wearing his shirt and socks, but was otherwise… nude. And his missing clothes were nowhere in sight. “What happened?”

“Oh… _Bruce_. Sorry about the mess. Told the Big Guy to take a shower, but…” Tony trailed off.

Bruce looked down at himself more closely, feeling blindly with his hands. _Sticky_. Oh – that kind of mess. At first Bruce was a little grossed out. But then he felt foolish. There really wasn’t any difference between the Hulk’s cum and his own. Unless it wasn’t all from the Hulk…

“What did you _do_?!” Bruce demanded.

Tony shrugged. “The Hulk said he wanted to play. So we did.”

Bruce suddenly felt guilty for getting angry. He had agreed to this, after all. And Tony seemed no worse for wear. Granted, Bruce hadn’t stopped to take a good look – having glanced away from Tony after acknowledging the other’s lack of clothing. So Bruce went into doctor mode.

“Are you okay?” Bruce asked in alarm. He looked dispassionately at Tony from head to foot, scanning for injuries. “Nothing broken?”

“ _Aaaaarrrrggh_. Bruce! _No_. Of course… there might be a little bruising. But nothing I didn’t want. Can’t I bask in the afterglow just a _little_ longer?” Tony whined. His hair was sticking up at funny angles, and his button-up shirt was missing all its buttons. And – Bruce noticed with some embarrassment – Tony’s beautifully shaped cock was rosy-pink, full, and heavy.

“ _Sorry_ … I just… I don’t remember any of this. Hulk’s an absolute shithead, leaving me to clean up.” Bruce said bitterly.

“Now, now – Hulk just wanted to share. Give me… okay maybe I’ll need more than a few minutes – but we can have a go in a bit if you want.” Tony looked exhausted.

Bruce finally laughed at the situation he found himself in. “ _No_ , Tony. Hulk might put out on the first date, but you’re going to have to take things a bit slower with me.”

“ _Aww_ , come on, Brucy.” Tony whined again, flopping back down onto the bed. “You’re not even going offer me a post-coital kiss? I mean… I’d offer, but… can’t… move.”

Bruce suddenly had a thought. “FRIDAY, were you recording all of this?”

“My instructions are to monitor and record everything that happens in the Playground, Dr. Banner. This last session is available for re-play at your discretion.” The AI responded swiftly.

“ _Wonderful!_ ” Tony said dreamily, beaming.

“FRIDAY, make sure this session – along with any further sessions that occur between the Hulk and Tony _alone_ are restricted. Maximum security voice authorization required by either Tony or myself for access.” Bruce commanded.

“Of course, Sir.” FRIDAY complied.

“Overkill, considering the encryption they are already under – but hey, so long as it makes you feel better. And so long as I can relive the past hour and twenty minutes on a big screen… _yeah_ …” Tony drifted again.

“You’ve been going at it for _how long_?” Bruce was gobsmacked.

Tony giggled. “Foreplay was fun. The main event didn’t take _that_ long.”

Bruce blushed. This was so, _so_ weird. “Okay. Well… I’m going to shower. _And_ you owe me dinner.”

“Done. What do you want?” Tony said, still laying on the bed.

“Uh… I’ll tell you when I’m out. I can’t think when I’m covered in jizz.” Bruce gave as an excuse, heading for the bathroom. His dick was _not_ springing to life, suddenly taking a keen interest in Tony’s prone form. Surely the Hulk had had enough?

“I might be asleep by then. Fair warning.” Tony called back, smoothing his face into the nearest pillow.

Bruce relaxed under the warm water of the shower a few moments later. Ok. He could handle this. Tony wasn’t hurt. The Hulk was happy. Bruce was going to have dinner with Tony. Just dinner.

But Bruce’s prick hadn’t flagged even a little under the warm spray. Instead it grew harder. Who was he kidding? The Hulk had just had sex with Tony. Bruce was embarrassed beyond reason. Embarrassed and insanely horny. Tony’s abused cock had looked… _glorious_.

After dinner, he might just… take a look at the Playground’s recordings. Just to make sure the Hulk was really behaving himself. And if Bruce learned what the Hulk had done to make Tony so blissfully satiated… that was just a bonus. He was just… gathering data. Completely reasonable.

It was this thought that allowed Bruce to turn the warm water down cold enough to shock his engorged member into retreat. He shivered. Spicy Indian curry takeout sounded divine.

***---***---***

A couple days later and the Hulk had still not re-emerged. However, Bruce’s relationship with Tony barely changed. They met in the labs and worked – sometimes coordinating their efforts, sometimes on separate projects. But they always managed to eat their meals together. Occasionally they would kiss. Or Tony would put his hand around Bruce suggestively. Tony loved physical contact. Bruce was… _flattered_.

The two of them had just finished their lunch when a call came in from Pepper, relayed on speaker through FRIDAY.

“Tony?” Pepper’s voice filled the lab. “I’d like to make a formal complaint.”

Tony looked surprised. “Hey, Pep. _Er_ … what for?”

“Nowhere in my work agreement does it mention getting paid time off for planning a wedding. Seriously, I’ve overseen multi-million dollar charity banquets that were less exhausting.” She continued.

Bruce and Tony looked at each other in confusion.

“Pep… _who_ is getting married?” Tony asked carefully.

“Ben and Triston. You remember – the couple who asked Steve to officiate their ceremony. It turns out Triston is an SI employee. And they already did most of the planning months ago, to be fair. I’m just running PR, having to make last minute adjustments because inevitably, word leaked out that Steve had accepted. Making room for security and press without infringing on plans made by the caterer, the baker, the florist, venue staff, the photographer, and the guests is no easy task.” Relayed Pepper.

“Er… when did _this_ happen?” Tony whined. “Seriously, why am I only hearing about this _now_?”

“Don’t worry, Ben and Triston were kind enough to extend invitations to all of the Avengers. In fact, you _should_ have received yours already. You’re not letting DUMM-E handle the mail again are you?” Pepper asked.

“No.” Tony replied defensively. “But seriously… they sent a _paper_ invitation? Why not an e-mail? I actually check that.”

Bruce laughed.

“Bruce, I’m very sorry for you.” Pepper teased. Hearing her acknowledge his and Tony’s budding relationship was surprising – but welcome.

“When is the date?” Tony interjected.

“Next Sunday. Don’t worry, I’ve already cleared your schedule.” Pepper chirped.

“Hey, wait a minute. Does DUMM-E handle _all_ of the mail for the Tower? How come I didn’t get an invitation?” Asked Bruce.

“ _Tooonnnyy_.” Pepper whined.

Tony gave Bruce a hurt look. “I’m on it. FRIDAY?”

“All cleared mail correspondences are delivered to Lab #1 as per your instruction, Sir. Should I have the pile boxed up and sent to your current location?” The AI answered innocently. They rarely used Lab #1 anymore, as it was becoming too crowded with partially finished suit upgrades and big machinery.

This time Pepper laughed too.

Thankfully the pile wasn’t _that_ big and they discovered their invites without too much trouble. Pepper hung up after a while, leaving Tony and Bruce to sift through letters on the floor. Being famous had its small advantages. For one, none of it was junk advertisements, soppy letters from fans or well-wishers, or blatant hate mail as these had already been removed by Tower personnel. With the downside being that there was still far too much of it. Although Bruce was pleased to see that some of the ones in his own pile were requests for feedback or submissions to academic journals.

“I never thought Steve would actually accept that crazy request, you know.” Tony mentioned as they were finishing up the sorting. “Now _everyone’s_ going to start asking.”

“He knows that. I think… he’s doing this for himself too.” Answered Bruce.

“You mean because of the whole gay thing?” Tony asked.

Bruce nodded absently, not committing to anything.

Tony sighed. “ _I_ know and I know _you_ know, so stop being coy.”

“Fine.” Bruce answered, still not revealing anything.

“Steve and Bucky are crazy about each other! I suspected it before, but after the accident – yeah, that made things pretty obvious. And moving into an apartment together? They can’t _really_ believe their keeping it secret.” Explained Tony.

“Well, all things considered – it’s really no one else’s business.” Bruce tried to argue.

“Perhaps.” Tony relented half-heartedly.

“We can’t _all_ enjoy your brand of radical honesty, Tony.” Continued Bruce sagely. “Think of Peter. Would people take Spiderman seriously if they knew he was a high school science nerd? Sometimes it’s okay, necessary even, to keep things private.”

“And _sometimes_ , people are unwilling to change… unwilling to accept differences because fear keeps those in the limelight quiet – or worse, into feigned conformity to the status quo. Do you realize how much _good_ Steve could do if he came-out publicly?” Tony countered.

Bruce shook his head. “ _That_ isn’t for us to decide. Speaking of which, would you really explain to a reporter details of _our_ relationship?”

Tony sighed. “I guess not. But I’m not going to hide it, either.”

Bruce was relieved to hear that. They had finished sorting the mail so they both got up from the floor holding their respective stacks.

“Hey… I just realized – weddings usually require… certain standards of dress.” Tony teased as they entered the elevator.

Bruce groaned. “Don’t.”

“ _Please!_ Undoubtedly you were going to just rent a suit. I’ve seen your limited wardrobe. I could just… tag along. With my tailor. And my wallet.” Tony suggested, licking his lips while looking at Bruce’s ass.

What had he gotten himself into?

***---***---***

Bucky decided it was _way_ too early in the morning for this shit.

Steve was pacing between the bedroom and the living room rehearsing in a fevered mumbling what he was going to say at the wedding the next day. But the sun wasn’t even up yet. Bucky rolled over to look at the clock. It was 4:30.

“ _Steve!_ Come back to bed.” Bucky ordered.

Steve emerged in the doorway, looking sheepish. “Sorry, did I wake you?”

“Yes, you did. We’ve been over your speech a hundred times by now – give it a rest.” Pleaded Bucky.

“I was… I mean, I just needed to check…” Steve stumbled over his excuse.

Bucky sighed. “What is it?”

Steve entered the room fully, walked over to his bed and sat down – clasping his hands together and worrying them. “I guess I just didn’t think this through. Not really.”

“How so?” Bucky was slightly amused. Usually it wasn’t the officiate that got cold feet.

“I suppose… after our meetings with Dr. Fields, I understood in theory that men could marry each other now. I just sort of assumed it was done at the courthouse or in small intimate gatherings. _Private_ gatherings. Not all this pomp and circumstance.” Steve attempted to explain. "I guess it was naïve of me to think this would remain under the radar."

“And?” Bucky prompted sleepily. “You’re worried about tarnishing Captain America’s image or something?”

“No, no, no. Nothing like that. I just… I think I’ve agreed to something several giant leaps ahead of my comfort zone. This is… _big_. Right?” Steve was looking at Bucky desperately for confirmation.

Bucky sighed and got up into a sitting position that mirrored Steve’s. “So this _is_ about PR? I’m confused.” Granted, no ordinary person would be in control of all of their faculties at such an hour.

“Buck… I’m kind of freaking out. I was okay with reciting a few words to two fellas who loved each other. No cameras. No fancy suits. No receptions. I’ve dealt with the press before, of course. But never like this. I mean… what if they ask questions? What if I say something stupid or offensive? This is all still so new to me. I’m not ready!” Steve was working himself into a panic.

“Come here, you idiot.” Bucky slid back into his bed and gestured that Steve should join him.

Steve obeyed, curling into Bucky’s arms gratefully. They didn’t speak for a few moments – Bucky just rubbing up and down Steve’s back in a comforting way.

“Let me try and sort this out.” Bucky spoke again. “You think that people are going to assume things about you… about _us_ , because of this? Things which, I might remind you, are in fact _true_.”

Steve spoke into Bucky’s shoulder, muffling his response. “Maybe.”

“What was it that made you agree in the first place, then? Back when it would have just been Ben and Triston?” Asked Bucky.

“They remind me a lot of Dugan and Falsworth. Or… what the two of them could have been together. If it had been possible back then… if they had asked me as Ben and Triston had – I would have agreed in a heartbeat.” Mumbled Steve.

“I happen to recall you being rather weirded out upon first meeting them. You said they challenged your idea of what marriage was supposed to be.” Bucky remembered.

Steve groaned. “They did. I mean… if I knew what I do now… Dr. Fields was really helpful on that front, okay? Maybe this is sort of like… making up for not realizing my own feelings sooner. Making up for… how I should have treated Jim and Dum Dum.”

“You loved those guys. You didn’t mistreat any of the Commandos.” Bucky corrected.

“But I didn’t say anything. I looked the other way.” Answered Steve.

Bucky sighed. “Even if you had, I don’t think things would have worked out any other way. The world was a different place back then. I doubt people with Dr. Fields’ smarts even existed – and if they did, we weren’t about to run into any of them on the war front, Steve. _Stop guilt tripping_.”

It took a moment for Steve to reply. “I guess you’re right. But I still feel like… like a _hypocrite_ somehow.”

“Are you done? Because I’m tired. You’re going to do great tomorrow, Steve. _Relax_.” Bucky soothed.

“Okay.” Steve’s reply was barely audible, he had buried himself so far into Bucky’s chest.

Bucky was reluctant to kick Steve out of his bed to sleep. “You realize if you stay here I’m liable to give you a black eye with my elbow while I sleep. _Then_ what will people say at the wedding?” He teased.

“’s worth the risk.” Mumbled Steve, not moving.

“ _Fine_. But I warned you. Sleeping now.” Bucky snuggled back into the pillows.

“Buck?” Steve asked.

“Yeah?” Bucky replied, his eyes already closed.

“I love you.”


	12. Chapter 12

Bruce had to admit – albeit reluctantly, that the suit Tony had helped pick out was rather comfortable compared to his normal standard of formal wear. His boyfriend had a hard time keeping his hands to himself on the car ride over to the well decorated event venue where the wedding and reception were to take place. Tony looked rather ravishing in his own ensemble – but in all honesty, Tony usually looked amazing.

“Oh my God.” Bruce exclaimed upon their arrival – their driver having just pulled up. There were reporters everywhere.

Tony shrugged. “Don’t worry. Only a few have passes inside – and even then all they can do is take notes. Pep strictly forbade interviews and photographs.”

Bruce hummed rather uncommittingly. “ _Still_ … all this just because Steve is going to lead the ceremony? He’s going to read a prepared script – it will probably take less than five minutes.”

“And Pepper thinks _I’m_ the unromantic one.” Tony teased.

Bruce laughed. They got out of the car and waded quickly through the crowd into the building. There were convenient signs directing them to the appropriate floor and room.

“Besides, it won’t be _Steve_ up there – it will be _Captain America_. He’s going to be wearing his uniform and everything.” Tony explained further, now in the elevator.

“And I’m being forced to wear _this_?” Teased Bruce in return.

Tony rolled his eyes. “You look great! And besides, you would upstage the grooms in the Hulk’s normal attire. _Jeez_.” Although, he had a hard time saying so with a straight face.

Bruce just shook his head. “There are enough pictures out there of my naked ass, thank you very much.”

Tony gave a sly smile. “Not as many as you’d think.”

Bruce was scared to ask. Instead he switched topics. “So who all is coming anyway – from the Avengers, I mean?”

“Most everyone, I think. Peter is even going to be here. I had Pepper slip him an invite.” Answered Tony.

True to his word, upon their arrival to the correct room they were greeted by their friends. Natasha was wearing a stunning sleeveless coral gown that complemented her blonde hair nicely. Pepper was in an equally beautiful light teal dress with long white gloves. Clint sported an electric purple tie under his otherwise traditional black and white suit. Even Thor and Jane were there, although they both looked like they might be wearing traditional Asgardian garb.

“Mr. Stark!” Peter must have come in behind Tony and Bruce. His formal suit was less polished - perhaps a little big, with signs of wear – but he was still donning a big smile.

“Peter! Glad you came.” Tony clapped him on the shoulder affectionately. “Didn’t want to leave out our youngest Avenger. Just don’t let Pepper catch you drinking the champagne.” The last bit was said in a whisper – just in case.

Peter pulled out a notepad. “Oh, you know – strictly business. Going to write all about this in the… the _um_ , Long Island Gazette.” He scribbled something down dutifully, obviously playing a part.

Tony and Bruce laughed.

“This is… quite the party, right?” Peter continued. “Who are these guys getting hitched, anyway?”

“Triston works for Stark Industries.” Tony said as an excuse, shrugging.

Peter nodded. “ _Right_. Wow – you must do this a lot then. Stark Industries is a big company. Lots of employees.” He wasn’t buying it.

The whole affair _was_ rather ridiculous, now that Bruce thought about it. None of them really knew either of the grooms. All this hype for a couple that otherwise would have gotten married in relative obscurity – even with their obvious desire for a big, fancy wedding.

“Hey, _I’m_ not turning down free drinks.” Tony said, brushing off any further scrutiny. “Or, you know, drinks in general.”

Soon Peter drifted back into the crowd looking for kids his own age.

They were interrupted by the arrival of Steve and Bucky. As promised, Steve was wearing his Captain America uniform. Or one of them at least – this one was too pristine and muted in functionality for actual battle. Surprisingly, Bucky was in uniform as well – complete with brown pressed slacks, a hat and a tasteful, simply decorated jacket. They looked amazing.

Other guests, which must have been Ben and Triston’s _real_ friends and family, were quickly gathering around Steve – taking selfies and shaking his hand. Pepper stepped in to help. No one seemed to recognize Bucky, but that didn’t seem to bother him in the slightest. He slipped away from the crowd and took up residence in a corner. But Natasha quickly drifted that direction as well, Bruce was happy to notice.

Vision and Wanda arrived next. Vision was in human form and wearing a navy suit while Wanda looked smart in a ruffled white blouse and a powder blue pencil skirt. Her hair was curled and sparkling somehow – Bruce wasn’t sure he even wanted to know. They migrated to the corner as well, chatting pleasantly with Bucky and Natasha.

“It feels like we’re being left out.” Bruce mumbled into Tony’s ear – gesturing towards their friends.

Tony just smiled sadly. “They look happy enough. Best leave them be.”

Bruce sighed. Tony might need a nudge. “ _Or_ … we could join them.”

But Tony shook his head. _Not yet, then._

“Ladies and gentleman – the grooms have arrived. If you would all please take your seats.” An usher announced from the door a few minutes later.

There was a slow scramble as everyone who wasn’t already sitting in one of the small chairs set up in neat rows found their place. Steve walked solemnly up to the front of the room and conversed in whispers with another usher – probably going over last minute details.

Once everyone was settled, the usher from the door spoke again. “Announcing Triston Alec VanDermeer, escorted today by his mother Joanne Elizabeth VanDermeer.” Everyone craned their necks to watch as a tall, dark young man walked slowly up the aisle with a plump gray-haired woman on his arm. She was carrying a bouquet of pink and white lilies – her eyes watery, even as she smiled. Triston gave his mother a kiss on the cheek once they reached the front of the room. She sat down as Triston turned to Steve, giving him a firm handshake.

“Announcing Benjamin Kyle St. John, escorted today by _his_ mother Maria Louise Sanchez.” Again everyone looked back towards the door to see a shorter man with bright eyes walk into the room with a willowy woman on his arm. She held a bouquet identical to Mrs. VanDermeers, although her face was white with nerves and her eyes dry. Ben kissed his mother on the cheek – leaving her to also sit on the front row and took his place at Triston’s side. The two men looked only at each other after that, seemingly oblivious to their guests. Their love was almost tangible.

Steve looked nervously at the usher, who nodded. It was time to begin.

“I am honored to have been asked to preside over such a joyous occasion.” Steve began, a little stiffly. Thankfully, the further he got into the speech the more relaxed he became. “Ben and Triston asked me to say a few words before they exchange their vows. I didn’t know either of these fine young men until a few months ago. It was from… _unfortunate_ circumstances that we would have cause to meet at all. An unnatural purge that took so many lives, albeit briefly, claimed part of a whole. For so in love and already so devoted in life to each other were Ben and Triston that their hearts beat as one.”

Here Steve paused. His gaze drifted towards the back of the crowd. Towards Bucky. “Their pain at being parted – it could only be rivaled in severity by their elation upon reuniting. I admit in playing a small part in rectifying this great tragedy. And I accepted Ben and Triston’s request today not only for them – but they have also graciously allowed me to participate today in celebration for the mending of many more broken hearts. Broken families.” Here he nodded to Clint. “Broken communities. And I would like to welcome in attendance today, other Avengers who deserve equal credit for their roles in reversing perhaps the world’s greatest disaster.”

Bruce could feel himself tearing up. He grabbed for Tony’s hand. Tony held on tight.

Steve paused again. “ _And_ … I would like to express my gratitude that we live in a time and place where _all_ love – in its many, many forms – can be duly celebrated.” Another pause. It seemed as if Steve was going off script. “It was… _bold_ for Triston and Ben to ask me here today. I find their courage – their… _sincerity_ to be inspiring. Motivating _all_ of us to be more authentic. So that… _I_ can be too.”

Tony grasped Bruce’s hand even tighter. _Was Steve really going to do it?_

At this, Ben and Triston looked at Steve in wonderment – confirming that Steve was definitely off script. “With the grooms’ permission,” Steve continued after they both nodded, “I wish to affirm to my teammates – and, I suppose, to everyone else – that being in love with my best friend… and knowing that _he_ loves me in return has made me _indescribably_ happy.”

Rather explosively, the audience cheered and clapped – Bruce and Tony among them. Bucky nodded at his fellow teammates’ collective stares, smiling like a loon. The wedding photographer took photos like mad – directing the camera at Steve, the grooms, and the audience in a frenzy.

The noise took a few moments to die down, but when it did Steve continued. “So, _thank you_ Ben and Triston. I am truly honored to be celebrating here with you today. As you now recite your vows, confirming to your family and friends the deep commitment they have undoubtedly already witnessed – I would like to include my own support for your love and partnership.”

While the rest of the ceremony was measured and equally endearing – it still passed in a blur. The vows were recited, the couple signed their names on the marriage certificate, they kissed and then everyone was taking turns giving Ben and Triston their congratulations. In fact, almost everyone was done filing into the reception hall for refreshments before Bruce realized he was still sitting and holding Tony’s hand.

“ _Wow_.” Was all Bruce could muster.

“Yup. That about sums it up.” Tony replied with some delay.

***---***---***

Bucky kept glancing at Steve from his vantage point at one of the empty, round tables in the back of the reception hall. Since the ceremony had finished, there was just too many people vying for Steve’s attention one after another. Not that Bucky minded really – all of it was kindly meant. And the crowd hadn’t put two and two together yet that Steve’s significant other was also present, much to Bucky’s relief. Every now and then Steve would catch Bucky’s eye and they would smile conspiratorially at each other from across the room.

Instead of cake, the couple had opted for an elaborate arrangement of fresh fruits. Intricately carved strawberries, pineapple, apples, kiwi and several other fruits Bucky couldn’t identify were draped in candied orange peel curls and striped with chocolate. Cheese, crackers and mini-sausages accompanied the rainbow colored tower of fruit. A large orange punch bowl was filled with mimosa. Vision and Wanda joined Bucky at his table with their own drinks and refreshments before long.

“So… _that_ happened.” Wanda spoke first.

Bucky just nodded.

Wanda looked unimpressed. “You okay with it?”

“ _Of course_. This is… well, it’s big for both of us. But I’m happy. Now I can complain openly about the reality of living with Captain America.” Bucky teased.

“Not all peaches and cream, then?” Wanda asked, sounding relieved.

Bucky sighed. “You have no idea. He’s always hounding me to clean up after myself. He likes to get up obscenely early in the morning. I swear he hides the TV remote. And just the other day he was grossly lamenting the loss of my long hair.”

Wanda smiled. “Sounds like hell.”

“ _Er_ … I’m confused.” Vision chimed in. “So you’re _not_ happy… or…”

“Sarcasm, Viz.” Wanda prompted.

“Right. I see.” Vision recovered himself.

Natasha and Clint joined them next.

“What kind of wedding reception doesn’t have _cake_?” Clint complained.

“A sensible one.” Answered Natasha. “Congrats, Bucky.”

“Thanks.” Bucky said sincerely.

They collectively looked over to Steve, who was still swarmed by well-wishers. Thankfully their topic of discussion drifted towards other things. Bucky was content to just observe his friends engage each other playfully. Peter, Thor, Jane and Pepper wandered over after a while too. Few of the other guests even glanced their way – instead taking turns dancing, giving speeches, or taking pictures together.

It was Vision who noticed Bruce and Tony’s absence first. “Has anyone seen the rest of the team?”

They group looked at each other with some confusion at first.

“Bruce and Tony? They were here earlier.” Bucky supplied.

Peter spotted them first. “I see them. They’re dancing.”

Sure enough, Tony and Bruce were slow dancing together along with many other couples from the wedding party. They were… _very_ close together.

“Who all knew about _this_?” Clint asked after a few seconds.

“About Bruce and Tony?” Pepper asked.

Clint nodded. Slowly – Natasha, Pepper, Thor, and Jane all raised their hands. “Damn it. And no one told _me_?! I’m insulted.”

“Hey guys. What did I miss?” Steve finally appeared beside Bucky, putting a protective hand on his shoulder.

“Did _you_ know about _that_?” Clint addressed Steve, pointing to where Bruce and Tony were just finishing up their dance, both of them seeming to be reluctant to let go of the other.

“Uh… maybe.” Steve answered evasively.

“I hate all of you.” Clint said in mock hurt as he downed his mimosa dramatically.

“Come on Peter, time to take you home.” Pepper interrupted.

“ _Awww_ … come on. It’s not even 9:00 yet.” Peter complained.

Pepper gave him a severe look which shut him up. "I promised your Aunt - and the car ride will take ages."

“Bye, everyone! I’ll send you all a copy of my article in the Long Island Gazette.” Peter waved before following Pepper out of the hall.

“Good to see you, Peter.” Jane called out.

“Have a good night, you two.” Clint waved along with the rest of the team.

“Is this paper new? There is no record of a Long Island Gazette in my databanks.” Vision asked the group.

“It was a joke, Viz.” Wanda replied flatly – although this didn’t seem to help with his confusion.

Everyone laughed – except Thor. He was probably just as confused. _Poor guy_.

Jane took pity on them both and began explaining in whispers the pretense Pepper had used to get Peter an invitation under the radar – since his membership as Spiderman in the Avengers was common knowledge but his real-world identity needed to remain secret.

Bucky stopped listening halfway through. He was too busy watching Bruce and Tony. They had retreated from the dancefloor to the refreshment tables by then. Tony was probably working on his third or fourth mimosa by the look of things. They both looked… _happy_. It was strange to see them that way. This thought made Bucky feel uneasy.

How _sad_ that seeing the two of them smile had registered to him as odd or unusual. What did that mean about their supposed friendship as teammates if this was the first time Bucky could recall seeing them looking so content? As if this was the first time he was seeing beyond their façade of stability and calm – catching a fleeting glimpse of a larger, more complex story?

“Steve?” Bucky whispered up into his boyfriend’s ear.

Steve bent down to reply. “Yeah?”

“Invite them over here. _Please_.” Bucky cocked his head in the direction of Bruce and Tony.

Steve gave Bucky a funny look, but he must have seen or heard the earnestness of Bucky’s request. “Okay, Buck.” And with that Steve slipped away from their group and made his way over to the last two members of the Avengers.

Bucky watched as Steve engaged them in small talk – perhaps a little nervous. Then Bruce reached out for Tony’s hand - and after a few more seconds, all three of them started walking back the way Steve had come – until they were all together again.

***---***---***

If possible, the sea of reporters had only grown outside the building, despite the late hour. Word had definitely gotten out. Bucky broke the emergency alarm on a fire escape without remorse and they fled the building once the party had died down enough for them to leave without seeming rude. Steve didn’t even protest. They rode the subway back home – where all the passengers avoided eye contact with each other. Bucky finally began to relax.

“Thanks for coming. I know you didn’t really want to.” Steve whispered as they got off at their stop. Apparently Bucky’s attempts to hide the strain of being out in public for so long had not been entirely successful.

Honesty, Bucky remembered. That’s how they were going to make this work. “No, I didn’t. But I also wanted to support you. And I would have been mad if you had come-out without me there, anyway.”

Steve smiled in reply.

“What brought it on, anyway? Not that I mind, _really_.” Bucky asked.

Steve looked a bit guilty. “I dunno. It just felt right. I’m in for the long haul with you – so it seems silly to keep hiding it.”

Bucky was touched. “We might have to order our groceries to be delivered for the next few weeks. Like a couple of old ladies.” He teased.

“People will get over it eventually.” Steve waived this off. It probably wouldn’t be that simple, but it was nice to pretend for now.

They walked in companionable silence all the way back to their apartment. Upon their return, however, Bucky got an idea.

“Steve… I think we could try… going a bit further tonight. If you want to.” Bucky thought he sounded more confident than he actually felt.

“ _Really_?!” Steve asked, needing no explanation as to what Bucky meant.

Bucky nodded. “I can’t promise anything though.”

Since moving in together, any attempts at actual sex had been avoided. Bucky found that he liked knowing that Steve wanted him that way, but was unable to reciprocate. But seeing how tonight was kind of a special occasion… maybe they could work something out.

“Does this mean I should go brush my teeth?” Steve teased.

Bucky rolled his eyes. “We _both_ should. And possibly shower too.”

“Or we could shower together?” Steve suggested.

Bucky thought about this. “ _Okay_. We can try it.”

Steve looked elated.

But it soon became clear that this fantasy was not meant to be. They had a less than standard size shower, and cramming both of them into it – and then getting clean – was going to be impossible. It might have worked back when Steve was still a shrimp, but neither of them could be described as small anymore. Defeated, they took turns instead.

“That’s one downside to the apartment, I guess. Didn’t think about it before.” Steve grumbled. He was now sporting nothing but a towel. It was doing a poor job of hiding the fact that his body was already eager for them to start.

Bucky laughed. “If we are going to try this, I’m all for doing so on a soft bed anyway.”

Steve gave a reluctant smile. “I guess you’re right.”

At this, Bucky shucked his own towel. He was surprised to find his member wasn’t entirely soft – although whether this was from unconscious sexual arousal or from being scrubbed in the shower, he couldn’t tell. At any rate, it wasn’t standing to attention like Steve’s.

Speaking of Steve’s junk, Bucky got an eyeful as his boyfriend finally dropped his towel too. Sadly, it didn’t elicit much of a response down there. Maybe this wasn’t going to work after all.

“Can I… _touch_ you, Buck?” Steve asked. The way he said it implied more than second base.

Bucky nodded.

It felt… _okay_. Steve’s hands were gentle in grasping at his cock. Soon however, his hands migrated to cup his ass and fondle his pecks. Bucky realized he wasn’t reciprocating, so he timidly stroked Steve’s well-muscled back. Bucky didn’t feel… unsafe. But the touching was _much_ more intense than cuddling.

“Talk to me, Buck.” Steve prompted.

“I’m not sure this is going to work, Steve.” Bucky admitted. “Maybe we can try... lying down?”

Steve complied - stretching himself out on Bucky’s bed on top of the covers.

“Flip over.” Bucky commanded. Steve’s eyebrows rose, but he obeyed. He did have an exceptionally beautiful ass. Much more attractive than any woman’s – that’s for sure. “I’m going to touch _you_ instead.” Bucky suggested.

Steve moaned in pleasure as Bucky began working a long, slow massage of Steve’s naked back – taking the opportunity to caress his backside a bit more than would be appropriate. But to Bucky, it wasn’t exactly… _sexual_. So he straddled Steve’s prone form – kneeling so that the tip of his semi-hard cock was resting on Steve’s lower back, right were the ass cheeks began to part. Now riding back to front on Steve, this was probably a bit awkward, Bucky realized.

“Steve… you have a beautiful ass.” He found himself saying out loud.

Steve just mumbled incoherently into the pillows – but he didn’t sound displeased.

Bucky took his dick in hand and rubbed it against Steve’s exposed backside. Thinking about doing this the other direction… the _traditional_ way, made Bucky cringe. Penetration, of either party, was definitely out of the question. Better to relish the warmth of Steve’s body and admire his boyfriend’s thick, toned thighs. In just a few moments, Bucky was rock hard. His prick bounced excitedly with each heartbeat – attempting to engorge it beyond its limit. The tip glistening with pre.

Bucky got off of Steve, who quickly rolled onto his side – his own cock an angry pink and equally wet. Words weren’t needed to know that Steve had no objections to whatever Bucky had been doing.

“Steve… I think it would be best if… we just touch… ourselves.” Bucky gasped out, suddenly embarrassed by this new intimacy between them. It was both strange and exciting all at once.

“I can do that.” Steve winked, taking his cock in hand and pumping slowly. “Your ass is fine too, by the way. Better than… _fine_.”

Bucky laughed and turned around, giving Steve an eyeful. Steve groaned in appreciation.

“Lay down with me?” Steve asked.

This time Bucky complied, resting his head on Steve’s arm. Steve gave him a swift peck on the lips and pulled away again. But Bucky followed him backwards, capturing Steve’s mouth for a deeper kiss. Steve moaned again. Bucky found that he rather liked how vocal his boyfriend could be.

Finally they pulled apart, neither of them had stopped working their pricks during the exchange and Bucky could tell Steve was getting close.

“ _God_ … I’m not going to last. Unless you want more?” Steve asked, considerately.

Bucky shook his head and teased. “Just cum already.”

Steve closed his eyes and moaned, pumping harder. And Bucky was just watching like some sort of pervert – the interest he had had in his own release was waning.

A few moments passed as Steve found the right rhythm to push himself over the edge. “Buck… oh, oh… oh, oh, ohhhhh.” Steve’s face scrunched up comically while his mouth remained open, rocking against Bucky’s nude body as he came. They hadn’t thought far enough ahead to be prepared for the mess, Bucky realized as he watched wet patches appear all over his bed.

Bucky couldn’t help but laugh. Steve laughed too, hiding his face in Bucky’s shoulder.

“That’ felt good.” Steve admitted. “And for you?”

Bucky looked down at his cock, which was still hard even though he had stopped jerking off some time ago. “I’m… _okay_.”

Steve sat up and gave Bucky a withering look upon seeing Bucky’s still throbbing member. “Can I help?”

Bucky shrugged.

So Steve slowly slithered down the bed, projecting his intentions as he did so. Bucky nodded when Steve hesitated – his lips less than an inch from Bucky’s leaking cock. The sensation wasn’t as erotic at Bucky remembered it should be – but it wasn’t bad. And Steve’s moans of pleasure in sucking his boyfriend’s dick made it worth it. Soon Bucky was close. _Too_ close.

Bucky shoved Steve off of him, his breath too ragged to explain in words. But it was Steve’s own fault for not retreating further. Cum landed on his cheek and in his hair.

Steve laughed again. “ _Better_?”

Bucky nodded, smiling. They had actually done it! Granted, Steve was a mess and Bucky was _not_ going to be kissing his boyfriend until they had both thoroughly cleaned up. Thankfully Steve just flopped bonelessly to Bucky’s side again and the two of them rode out the afterglow in silence.

“I love you, Steve.” Bucky finally said, groggily. “But we are _so_ sleeping in _your_ bed tonight.”

Steve just grinned.

***---***---***

Tony was drunk. Not so drunk that he was unable to walk unassisted, but Bruce stayed close just in case. How they had managed to get through the crowd of reporters without Tony saying anything stupid, Bruce wasn’t certain. In any case, the wedding party had wound down to a close, forcing them to head back to the Tower. It was very late by the time the two of them finally stumbled into the lift.

“That was… _fun_.” Tony mentioned, unintelligently. “Should go to more of my employees’ parties.”

They went straight to Tony’s quarters. Bruce went to the bathroom and got a glass of water for Tony while his boyfriend struggled to get his shoes off.

“Drink up.” Bruce urged, handing Tony the glass.

“Don’t like being handed things.” Tony grumbled, even as he took the glass and drank it all.

Bruce, who conveniently couldn’t get drunk, just rolled his eyes. “I hand you stuff in the labs all the time, Tony. That’s just an excuse you make to be rude to people you don’t like.”

Tony smiled evilly. “ _Maybe_.”

Bruce went and refilled the glass and handed it to Tony again. This time Tony took sips.

“But it _was_ a fun evening. I’ll give you that.” Bruce smiled. Tony had insisted on dancing. _Lots_ of dancing.

“How much do you want to bet Cap is getting lucky tonight, Brucy?” Tony giggled.

Bruce shook his head. “No wager. None of our business.”

“You’re no fun.” Tony grumbled, finishing the second glass. “Give me another? And walk slower this time – the cut of those pants is… _perfect_.”

Bruce blushed. “You’re close to passing out, Tony. How can you even _think_ about sex?”

“ _Hey_! I’m not _that_ drunk. And I’ve been thinking about sex all night, thanks to your perfectly tailored ass.” Tony said defensively.

“I’m not sure it’s such a good idea.” Bruce argued.

Tony puffed out his lower lip in a pout. “Not even if I ask nicely?”

Bruce sensed the challenge. “Go on, then.”

“Bruce Banner, will you do me the great honor of allowing me to take all your clothes off and inhale your sizable manhood? We can even take turns?” Tony drawled, barely slurring every other word.

“ _Mmmm_ , tempting. But no.” Bruce laughed.

“ _Please_?” Tony begged.

Bruce shook his head. “Not tonight. But I’ll tell you what – I’ll wear this suit again tomorrow night… just for you. And if you still want me when you’re sober… we can talk about it.”

“ _Always_ want you. And Hulk.” Tony said, rather indignantly. He was starting to pull off his clothes, but with little success.

“Let me.” Bruce intervened, expertly removing Tony’s jacket, tie, and collared shirt. He even loosened Tony’s belt.

Tony wiggled out of his pants and collapsed on his bed. “FRIDAY… don’t let me forget. I have a date with Dr. Banner tomorrow night. A _sexy_ date.”

“So noted, Sir.” FRIDAY answered.

Bruce was about to leave when Tony called out. “Not so fast, Bruce. _Good_ boyfriends give each other a goodnight kiss.”

So Bruce made his way back to Tony’s bed and leaned over him. Tony’s eyes were closed, but he had a smug look on his face. “Fine.”

The kiss started out gentle and sweet, but Tony was hungry for more. Bruce indulged him for a little while. He really did love getting to do this. But Bruce pulled away before the kiss could engulf him completely in all that was Tony Stark - no matter how tempting.

Tony gave a satisfied sigh.

“Goodnight, Tony.” Bruce whispered.

“ _Night_.” Tony managed to mumble before falling into slumber.

Bruce made his way silently back to the lift as FRIDAY dimmed the lights. Had he just agreed to have sex with Tony? _Yes_. Yes, he had. And if he stood in front of the mirror a bit longer than normal that night wearing nothing but his new dove gray trousers, conceding to himself that Tony might have a point – no one need know. _God, it felt good to be loved._

 

 

THE END

 

 

[ **Author’s Note:** Thank you so much for reading! My goal in writing this was to create conversations that were inclusive towards more realistic relationships of all kinds – without shying away from sex. I hope that I succeeded, and that you found it enjoyable. Feedback is always much appreciated! And as always, I do not own the rights to any Marvel characters, no matter how much I might want them to end up together. Best wishes!]


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